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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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I have a gambling problem and today is day to confront it

74 replies

Walkaboutwendy · 13/03/2018 14:30

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to write those words. I am so ashamed to admit this but it needs to be done.

My husband knows and I'm so lucky that he is being amazing in helping me get sorted.

I've registered for gamcare counselling.

Is there anyone else out there with the same problem and on the same journey to recovery?

Please be gentle I'm feeling really bruised right now Sad

OP posts:
Walkaboutwendy · 14/03/2018 09:56

@Unforgiven2018

Thank you for sharing that. It made for very sober reading and I'm sure was hard to write so thank you. I hope you guys find light at the end of your tunnel Flowers

I think the shame is the wake up call of what I am actually risking.

I'm phoning gamcare now to chase up the course

OP posts:
Walkaboutwendy · 14/03/2018 10:01

We live in a very rural area in what was suppose to be out dream home but actually it is a nightmare. I've felt lonely and cut off from the world. Getting back into town where I can socialise and get more human interaction is going to be a big step forward.

I've been reading loads of stories on the internet and it seems that female gambling addiction has grown massively since the start of online gambling sites directly targeted at women. Apparently the worst effected group are single mothers dealing with stressful isolated situations just looking to socialise. I never realised it was such an social problem.

OP posts:
vandrew4 · 14/03/2018 14:14

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Unforgiven2018 · 14/03/2018 14:43

Nooooo!!!! I am sorry to e rude but switching to matched betting is a terrible idea. You need to remove yourself from everything to do with betting, that includes lottery scratch cards etc. join the Gamcare support group online and start writing a recovery diary. It's a fantastic place of support and encouragement.

Ariela · 14/03/2018 16:08

I'd suggest take up something physical, you say you're rural can you do a little dog walking, or horse mucking out?

newnamechange1 · 14/03/2018 16:29

Absolutely do not switch to match betting. I can't believe someone has even suggested that. Terrible idea. Please exclude yourself from everything op. Don't take that advice from @vandrew4

gnarlington · 14/03/2018 19:36

Absolutely don't do any more gambling of any sort. I don't even buy lottery tickets, my husband does if he wants to play it.

lougle · 14/03/2018 20:45

"vandrew4

Could you switch to matched betting? all the excitement of gambling but with guaranteed profit!"

Oooooh yes! Be the provider of bets for other poor gamblers, who will lose, while you will be ok, because you will be guaranteed to profit. That's not unethical at all.....

Unforgiven2018 · 14/03/2018 21:00

Important thing is to know the triggers and be self aware, keep busy and avoid situations that might tempt you back. Don't be afraid to slip up, it can and does happen to some but it doesn't mean you've failed, it means you're human. The important thing about slip ups is to own them and learn from them and always be honest. Gambling is the hidden disease as unlike drugs users and alcoholics, compulsive gamblers can function normally with no outward signs of their turmoil. Tell everyone you know, you will be surprised at how supportive they are and there is no such thing as too much support.

scorpio32 · 14/03/2018 23:50

Hi Wendy,

Congratulations on admitting you have a problem - it's the first step to your recovery.

Full disclosure here - I am a compulsive gambler, and have been in recovery since 2012. I'm also a man, but that shouldn't matter.

Here's some advice I can give you.

  1. Don't gamble. At all. No lottery, no online casinos, no poker for matchsticks, no tombolas or prize draws. If there is a possibility to win something, don't do it. It sounds extreme, but it links back to something called the 'small bet experience'. A compulsive gambler cannot stop at a small bet - it always escalates. It won't be immediate, but once you've given yourself permission to have a small bet, you're making yourself vulnerable. It's happened to me.

Sometimes you have to be creative. For example, it can be hard to say no to a charity raffle - so, buy a ticket and write 'draw again' on the back, so there is no chance of winning.

  1. Live your life one day at a time. This is a simple but effective concept. The idea is that you're not going to have a bet today. That's it. You don't worry about betting tomorrow, or the day after, it's just today that's important. If you struggle with a day, then an hour, or 5 minutes. Get through that timeframe without betting. And repeat, every day.
It also means not worrying too much about the past also. You can't win back the money you've lost, or untell the lies, or undo the things you've done. Apologise if appropriate and move on. The best way to prove to others how much you've changed is to change. For me, becoming honest was the most difficult but rewarding thing I had to do - it's something I value immensely now. I was as much a compulsive liar as a gambler.
  1. Get help. Try and find a Gamblers Anonymous meeting, and attend, regularly. The people there understand what you're going through - they won't ask the stupid questions, and they'll support you when the going gets tough. For me, it's an hour and a half a week. I spent more than that in a bookies every lunchtime.
  1. Find something else to take up the time - you may find yourself with a lot of extra time on your hands. Find a new hobby, or resurrect an hobby that you used to love.
  1. Be practical. Install blocking software on all of your devices. Self exclude everywhere. And do it now, while the desire to give up gambling is strong.

Rescind control of money to someone you trust and give yourself a small daily allowance. This doesn't have to last forever, but in the short term it might help.

Make it difficult to gamble.

  1. Finally, and sorry to sound so gloomy, but treat this very seriously. My approach is to liken this to having a disease like diabetes - if I manage my illness, I can life a happy and fulfilling life. If I don't, it can kill me.

I don't think about being cured. In the past, I believed I WAS cured, and when I inevitably fell back into gambling it was worse than before. The goal is to have a happy life, despite being a gambler.

My life isn't perfect, not by a long chalk, but I have normal problems now, the same as everyone, not ones created by my inability to control my gambling.

I wish you all the best and success in beating this hideous disease.

Please, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Walkaboutwendy · 16/03/2018 10:34

Hi All

Well day 5 and I've taken more steps. I've got an appointment booked for assessment with gamcare. I've also closed down all accounts and wiped apps off my phone to avoid temptation.

I've told more family members who are being supportive and I'm talking more and more with my husband.

I must admit today feels like a come down day. A bit like I've got a hangover from a big night out. I feel so tired and drained. I wonder if this is normal?

Don't worry I won't be spread betting Shock

OP posts:
scorpio32 · 16/03/2018 11:15

Well done Wendy, keep at it. It's only natural to have up and down days.

If you haven't done it yet, install K9 onto your devices (or an alternative) as a precaution.

You can do it!!

hellsbellsmelons · 16/03/2018 11:26

Well done on day 5.
I honestly can't imagine what this must be like but you are taking huge steps every day.
Have you been in touch GA?
That might be a big help for you too.
Keep using this thread as a diary and support on your progress.
Have you put the block on your devices yet?
It's probably a really big step so maybe do with your DH so he can help you with it all.
Keep going.
Keep strong.

StormTreader · 16/03/2018 11:31

"I must admit today feels like a come down day. A bit like I've got a hangover from a big night out. I feel so tired and drained. I wonder if this is normal? "

Absolutely totally normal, you were getting a buzz from gambling and now thats gone you are feeling the withdrawal from it plus the reality hit of having to deal with it all. Now is the time for self-care and being kind to yourself in small positive ways.

QueenOfAccidentalDeathStares · 16/03/2018 12:15

well done Wendy !

why don't you treat yourself this weekend:

a nice soak in the bath with optional beverage/chocolates
a nice walk in some nearby woods
a haircut

FfionFlorist · 16/03/2018 12:25

Well done Wendy, you'll never regret the effort that you're putting in. My dh is a recovering gambler. As others have said it isn't just the gambling that destroys lives, it is often a very complicated addiction. To recover you have to look very deep into yourself. Sounds like you're on the way.

Walkaboutwendy · 18/03/2018 14:20

Thanks everyone Flowers

Had my first wobble today buy didn't act on it. Instead I went and told my DH exactly what I was thinking and feeling. It really helped.

Stress is a big trigger for me. I always want to fix things quickly to push away uncomfortable feelings but I'm realising that it isn't always possible and I need to face them and deal with them instead.

I'm on ADs at the moment for PND. I think they may have made my thinking a bit foggy - has anyone else found this? I'm wondering if I should talk to the doctor about coming off them.

OP posts:
MrsMozart · 18/03/2018 14:23

Very well done on handling the wobble so well.

QueenOfAccidentalDeathStares · 20/03/2018 10:57

Hi Wendy, how are you doing?
Take one day at a time, and keep talking to your DH.

absolutely discuss with your GP about the side effects of the ADs.

Walkaboutwendy · 20/03/2018 11:14

I am doing okay thanks

I've got my first counselling assessment session with gamcare tomorrow so I'll let you know how it goes in case it will help other people.

I'm struggling with guilt at the moment. I feel I've let everyone down, which I have.

No relapses though thankfully.

I need to talk to the doctor this week. Not sure what approach to take with my ADs i.e. try and one off them or switch to something else.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 20/03/2018 11:57

I feel I've let everyone down, which I have
No you haven't.
You had a problem.
You've confronted and tackled it.
It's something to be proud of.
Keep taking it each day at a time.
Good luck with counselling, I'm sure it will be a big help.
Have a chat with your GP about the Anti-D's and your counsellor.
See what they suggest before taking any action.
Well done!!!!

MrsMozart · 20/03/2018 12:25

Definitely not let everyone down m'duck.

There was an issue. You're addressing it.

WazzitCalled · 20/03/2018 12:33

Well done for facing up to this. It must be very difficult.

I e no experience so take my advice for what it's worth 💁🏻‍♀️

I feel like it's useful to fully understand what you have done in order to help you move forward. In order to do that I think it's useful to look at exactly what you have spent. There is no need to share this with anyone just yourself and your partner.

Don't forget to include incidental costs and other costs such as time etc

Secondly whilst obviously the most important thing is to overcome the mental desire to gamble and to get past the 'addiction'. I think it's useful to have 'physical' barriers to help support your decision to stop. Not only would I delete the apps as you already have done I'd make it impossible to add them again - I'd install some sort or parental controls and have your husband have the password etc. Likewise I would either give up my bank cards to your partner or at least get him to check statements etc on a daily basis.

It's very easy to relapse and you should make it as hard as possible for yourself.

Good luck

WazzitCalled · 20/03/2018 12:37

BTW. I presume you have registered to be banned from the sites you have previously visited? https://www.begambleaware.org Info on self exclusion]]

springydaff · 20/03/2018 17:53

Really great post from Scorpio.

What do you think of going to GA?

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