Date accused of rape by ex?

[wouldyoudo]

It randomly came up in conversation that a woman he had dated who had a mental health crisis accused him of rape

It's early days so easy to back out of anything

I'm torn between knowing that this can genuinely happen/treating it as a red flag and running a mile

No conviction but then in rape that rarely happens anyhow

I don't know any more details. I didn't push for them so whether he was 17 or it was last year I have no idea

Clare's law covers everything on the police computer, even if there are no actual convictions.
My abusive ex turns out to have a long history of DV reports but none seen through to conviction because the other women withdrew their support for a prosecution. But all of it was included in the Clare's Law report they offered to his new gf.
They won't automatically offer someone Clare's law (eg how would the police know he has a new partner or who she is?). You either have to ask for it, or a concerned third party has to ask for you to be offered it. In my case they asked me if he had a new gf, I said yes and told them who it was and they contacted her.

I know you said it's a moot point now anyway, but I'd just say to anyone in this position, he might be innocent, but is it worth you risking your safety to find out?

My ex went round boasting that he raped me.
Never went to the police, I think the people he talked it up to are far too sick in the head to support the victims and tell the truth, so they’d lie and say he’d never be that kind of ‘man’ - in fact, they’d probably offer to be character witnesses for him.
I think this is the kind of shit he’d come out with though, to get a feel for how vulnerable and weak he could perceive the next one to be.

That makes me think it's more likely he did do something wrong: he's got no proper boundaries.

I'm glad you've decided he's not relationship material anyway.

I'm thinking this was first or second date? My current BF told me fairly early on (like maybe after date 5 or 6) that he'd been accused of theft in the past and it had actually been reported in the local papers, and he had been found not guilty. He told me because he didn't want me googling his name and finding all this shit and not knowing the context.

I think it would have been weird if he'd told me this very early. Like why bother telling someone before you know it's going to get serious?

Playing devils advocate here but if he hadn't of told you and someone else had told you a few dates down the line, I bet you would still be told to cut contact, run etc.
He's probably experienced that in the past so decided to get it out in the open straight off (and probably had no idea how to so just blurted it out mid-convo).

False rape allegations ruin lives. Its almost impossible to decide who's telling the truth.

Oh, Nessie, I hope you've brought your tin hat to this thread. Suggesting false accusations exist and then going on to suggest they ruin lives?
You are BRAVE!!!

Megs4x3