Date accused of rape by ex?

[wouldyoudo]

It randomly came up in conversation that a woman he had dated who had a mental health crisis accused him of rape

It's early days so easy to back out of anything

I'm torn between knowing that this can genuinely happen/treating it as a red flag and running a mile

No conviction but then in rape that rarely happens anyhow

I don't know any more details. I didn't push for them so whether he was 17 or it was last year I have no idea

Run.
If someone made a false rape allegation against you, you wouldn't go round telling people. If you'd raped someone and got away with it you probably would. Obviously that's only my opinion but even if he didn't do it he shouldn't be talking so callously about it.

No nothing's happened, doesn't have to either. I can walk away easily at this point

So he latched onto your description of your ex and said something along the lines of

"Oh yeah, THAT thing, my ex had that too, that's why she accused me of rape, because she was crazy, you know what people like that are like, they are crazy and try to mess up our lives".

Don't fall for this crap.

I doubt he really thought too much about it but maybe wanted to get it out in the open. Use your gut feeling I think.

He just did something this morning that has utterly convinced me even if he was innocent I still don't want to date him so moot point now kind of him to help me make up my mind so fast 😂

Good!

Tough to say, maybe find out more about the accusation, does any of your friends know him?? I couldn't carry on dating someone knowing that we might have to go through court paper coverage etc. Plenty of blokes out there that have never been accused.

What did he do?

Me too haha. Go on spill.....

I bet OP got a dick pic

Not a dick pic. I almost feel it's worse.

An incredibly virtue signalling video to show me how wonderful he is to some poor women

OMG what a dick. Serious, serious issues there. Block and delete!

Clare's law applies if you are considering a relationship. Phone 101 and ask for it. If they don't think you're entitled they won't give it to you. It's entirely confidential.
Wish I'd known about it when I entered a relationship 4 years ago with a man who groomed me which included getting in first with his version of the "rumours" I'd hear.

The nicest people in the world can rape, how often do we hear of people we know of or like being accused and prosecuted with crimes we would never suspect them to do. That said there are people who make wild accusations just to get back at someone they feel has wronged them.

He came clean with you for whatever reason. I’d be watchful but do consider giving him the benefit of the doubt. Trust your instincts!

It's not applicable to me in this instance as I definitely don't want to date him now but I'm curious regarding Clare's law... if someone isn't convicted would it still show up?

Crikey! A potential rapist won't put you off but a virtue signalling video will? What a world we live in.

I am following this with interest, I have a friend who is the male in a similar situation, he doesn’t know how/when to approach this with his new girlfriend.

If the police think there is risk, regardless of whether there was a conviction, they can disclose it, I believe.

Just google his name

I think it's a bit more difficult than walk away now. What if he's mentioned it incase OP finds out in the future? How bad would that be that he hid it? I have a friend who was falsely accused of rape, it really affected all aspects of his life. The women who made the allegation was hacked off he didn't want to see her again. On the other hand though, rape is not something to be taken lightly. It's a horrific thing. I don't think you can even judge if it's true by the rest of his character as rapists can literally be anyone. Sorry I'm not much help. X

lol I'm not sure if I actually used the term correctly. A video to show me how amazing he is helping the poor folk with his spare change and how grateful they are worshipping him for it

Yes this one sealed the deal as I wasn't certain I was being fair. Now I'm very certain that rape or not - the dignity of women isn't high on his mind

Are you dating my ex? Mental health and rape aren't mutually exclussive. I do have MH problems and his defence LOVED that. You must be a liar if you claim rape and happen to have mental health issues. I might be a lot of things but I'm not a liar and he knows exactly what he did.
I was told even though he was found not guilty of the multiple sexual offences but guilty of the violence it will form part of his file. Luckily all the people that matter know the truth, including the police and CPS.
I was also told if he gets a new girlfriend she will be informed of everything.
This is my experience. Did it go through court? This is where I'd be dodgy about it, it's very difficult for these charges to stick.

Omg just be glad you dodged a bullet what a very strange thing to do, I would say he too has mental health issues