Ex, seeing someone new!

[Emboo19]

Couldn’t think of a title, without it becoming long and complicated.

But been split up around 7/8 months, he cheated I ended things. Been a bit up and down with how we’ve got on, sorting contact with dd and all that. He’s wanted us to try again and other than a few wobbles I’ve been pretty adamant that I don’t.

Yesterday he collected dd and told me he’s seeing someone new, early days and he won’t be introducing to dd or anything but he wanted to tell me so I don’t hear from anyone else, we have a few mutual friends.

Thing is I’ve been wanting this for him, so he’d move on and we could get on with just being friends and I’m seeing someone else myself.
But since he told me I can’t help but think I’ve made a huge mistake and we should have tried again. I even searched her name on fb to see what she looks like and I’m really not one of those kind of people. (She’s very attractive though)
I’ve tried convincing myself I’m worried for dd and that he’ll lose interest in her, but honestly I think I’m a bit jealous that he’s actually moving on.
But what’s that about? Is it just a normal initial reaction or does it mean I really have made a mistake in ending things.

It was kind of you to do the cake....I don't think he or she will read anything into it.

After all..you dumped him.

If he ever objects to you introducing DD to any boyfriend of yours...remind him that you didn't stop him doing the same after X weeks...so he should not be a hypocrite.

I am emotionally invested MM because I’m his daughters mother.
The sad fact is he’s not the father I’d hope or wish for her. I’m realising there’s absolutely nothing I can do about that though.

Initially today was him being desperate to see his dd on his birthday, even though he was busy. So he said he’d meet his mates later so he could collect her, as he just wanted some one on one time with his daughters (hence why I’d put in the effort).
Then he tells me he’s taking her to meet his gf and her dd, as he’s stood at the door about to leave. Why? Because he’s not seen her this weekend either, because she can’t get a babysitter to go out and he won’t stay in (I know this because asked his brother to babysit).

Yet he was the one so adamant that we not introduce dd to people, that we discuss it between us first and only when we were serious about the person.
But like everything, he’s got dd’s best interests at heart until it actually involves him putting her first.

And it will make no difference when I introduce her to someone. I’ll still get grief and if I mention him already doing so, I’ll get that I’m doing it to get back at him or make a point.

I really doubt she knows the reason we split Sandy. I’m betting everything he tells her is pretty much lies.

But my dd is now home and she’s happy enough, he thanked me for the gifts.
And because he’s just so busy.......we won’t see him now until next weekend! Which means he’s managed one out of three Wednesday picks up from nursery that he so desperately wanted to do 😂

Yet he was the one so adamant that we not introduce dd to people, that we discuss it between us first

But he hasn't stuck to this. He never discussed it with you...He simply informed you.

And it will make no difference when I introduce her to someone. I’ll still get grief and if I mention him already doing so, I’ll get that I’m doing it to get back at him or make a point

You're a better person than me if you'd listen to him attempt to object.

In fact I'd find it very difficult to restrain myself from sending a message to him ...to the tune of him going against agreement and as such you no longer feeling bound to discuss introducing DD to a new partner in the future, however you will notify him in advance in the same way he notified you.

Don't entertain him giving you grief and tell him to just stop right there.

You always came across very strong minded and no nonsense (when you discovered how cheated) ... so I guess I'm just a little surprised that you'd be worried /not be able to stand up to him trying to give you grief about it.

I’m not really worried about it and it won’t have any impact on my decision of when to indroduce anyone to dd.
It’s more an annoyance that I know how he’ll react and me saying ‘but you did it’ won’t make a difference. Then I’ll have the following weeks of him either not coming to see dd or deciding he’s wanting 50/50 contact or some other shit that the thinks of to try drive me crazy.

Plus I always that thought over me, that he would and could be spiteful even if it meant not putting dd’s needs first. I really don’t believe he has that same worry, because he knows me well enough to know that I’ll always put her first. Even when that means dealing with him being a dickhead.