Feeling low

[justwanttobeme]

My marriage isn't bad, but it's not great either. DH is mostly a good man but he gets cross/frustrated/angry quickly and often and at those times I want to leave him but then when he's calmed down I quickly forget and all goes back to normal.

I'm starting to dream more and more about having a place of my own with the DC but yet I'm not really sure why cos I wouldn't say I'm necessarily unhappy the majority of the time,

Not really sure why I'm posting, just want a bit of perspective or a chat about things I can't chat about in RL. x

Yes springydaff more so me, I'm frightened of making the wrong decision and regretting it with no way back, worried about being on my own for the rest of my life, I'm not far off 50, several stone overweight so feel my chances of finding love are low,

So because you're frightened of 'being alone' and 'never finding love' you're damaging your kids by not doing anything to protect them.

I'm hiding this thread now.

I can't help how I feel, I feel guilty for not doing enough and I came for help/support not to be made to feel more guilty springydaff

Hi OP, how long have you felt this way? I completely understand how scary it is, it will probably be the hardest thing you ever do. But if there’s any way you can get out, I would. Do you have family or friends that could help?

Confused I've been feeling this way for a very long time on and off probably a few years, but because we have periods of normality and happiness I tend to push the bad stuff to a side and then it only resurfaces when we have an argument, he gets angry about something or I feel resentful over stuff in our life I don't want but he won't change/get rid off.

I do have friends who would help where possible and definitely family but at the minute keep most to myself although one friend knows somethings but the really bad stuff I haven't mentioned to anyone, although that mostly was many years ago.

I understand those feelings all too well. But I have to keep telling myself that I only get one chance in life to be happy. Doesn’t make it any easier though!

No it definitely isn't easy Confused and made all the more harder when it's good an awful lot of the time, definitely more good days then bad.

Just as a first step OP, consider reading this
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

I am guessing that your own family of origin was quite chaotic and non-supportive?

NotTheFordType I will definitely have a read thanks.

I had a very loving and supportive family but unfortunately they are no longer with us other then some elderly family who I wouldn't want to burden although they would be very supportive given the chance.