Boyfriend and work

[Noodlee]

My boyfriend doesn't work. He finished a temporary job in December and then wanted to join the british army. He then changed his mind so is looking for work now. He is being so picky about it though! He's never really been a great worker but he's being so picky! Like he has just gotten an interview for a job that's evenings and weekends and he is all like oh those are family times. And I'm like you need to work we need money coming in. We have a 5 month old daughter so I'm at home with her at the moment and we have both agreed that that is the best option and I will go out to work in the next few months but right now we feel she is too young to start childcare. So we have no income coming in and he is being picky about the times he works. Can I get some opinions on this to see if I'm being unreasonable or not? Xx

You both sound incredibly lazy to me and neither of you is mature enough to have a child. But you do so you don't have the luxury of deciding she's too young for childcare.

Your parents should give you both a lecture on copping on and acting like adults.

you don't have the luxury of deciding she's too young for childcare.

I agree

Yep I agree, plenty of children have gone into childcare from 6 weeks on. 5 months isn't that young. The fairly long mat leave we have in this country is quite a recent development and even now not everyone takes it.

He doesnt want to do evenings or weekends but planned on joining the army- what hours did he expect them to do?

Good point! Army do evenings, weekends, overseas tours, courses etc

Is that why he didn't go for army?

If he tAkes the evening and weekends and then you can look for afternoons, that way he comes in from work and sleeps then gets up and has baby whilst you work, saving on childcare. Child care isn't cheap, if you have no qualifications and little experience you may struggle to get something that covers childcare.
Would you dad help with childcare too?

Sign up with the OU for your degree. You will be able to still do this even if you have a job.
Both start looking for work.

I think you both sound like you need to grow up in all honesty.

You're both in what sounds like a fairly grim situation and should both be doing what you can to improve it. And I'm afraid I can't take you all that seriously criticising his drive and motivation whilst at the same time opting to do nothing yourself.

Have either of you ever had an actual proper job?

So it's not OPs responsibility where he goes if he has nowhere to live, but it's DPs responsibility to provide for his family, the same DP most people in this thread are advising to kick out.

So according to the harpies of Mumsnet, he's only useful of he's bringing in money.

Let's look at the reality of this situation.

He's a 20 year old kid. I don't care about the fact that he's legally an adult. Most 20 year olds can't even do their own laundry let alone, run a household - alone, might I add.

I second an earlier response. Since you both seem to dislike the idea of working.

Both of you should actively seek work, and he first person that gets a job, which doesn't require killing yourself, should take it.

But that would require openness, and transparency which I know is absent from your relationship.

Wish you all the best. You should both get qualifications and BOTH be responsible for looking after the household, financially and environmentally.

Saying he has till X time, just makes you out to be a cold hearted bitch tbh. Thanks ultimatum I would've thought was only reserved for the likes of Job Centre advisors.