DP has severe depression and I'm shit

[GinnyTassel]

DP has awful depression he's on medication and seeing a counsellor but says he doesn't want to exist anymore etc. We have 2 DC. He feels sad/ empty/ detached from our lives and instead of being sympathetic I find myself getting angry. I hate that I'm so shit at supporting him but I can't seem to get out of the awful loop of wishing he was different/ just could cope with real life. I feel so overwhelmed by the children and job stuff it would just be nice to share the load. But I can't because he can't handle stress. Please, someone help me pull it together and stop being such a bitch.

I think you could do with support yourself for your situation. Can you find a counsellor also? It would just leave you so much more free, if you had someone objective that you can offload on, and not be judged. I think you'd find that really helpful. It's a very big load for you to carry alone, and like you say you can't talk to him about it.
The counselling would help you talk to him about it as well, and express your feelings so everything is not pent up.

This book is useful:
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0012GTZBG/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21

there is also a discussion board : www.tapatalk.com/groups/depressionfalloutmessageboard/

The advice I've been given is to detach - carve out your own life and spend your energy on yourself. You can't make him better so practice self care. Set boundaries - especially about how he speaks to you. Picking arguments with you is EA IMO. Explain the impact it is having on the DC.

Telling the DC in a way they can understand is difficult. Perhaps Mind could give you advice on tackling that one. There might be a support group that Mind could recommend in your area.