Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Can anyone decipher this bonkers msg?

89 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 25/02/2018 15:00

Utterly bonkers, I can't make any sense out of it.
It's from my ex .........

Good morning. Sorry for texting you last night, that was inappropriate although I do have a couple of things I'd like to say.....
I would like us to see if we can start fresh as I know how amazing it can be and the connection we have but I think we should both do our own thing, wether it be pof or dating or sleeping with whoever and see where it goes. If we are meant to be then and we can get some time together we can have a different conversation. I'm not a player and I'm not prepared to be played, but I've cancelled things with people too often since you got back In touch and going forward I'm not going to do that and you should do the same. The funny thing is I'm looking for something that I'm not going to find somewhere else but I'm going to try. I'd like us to meet up and get it back on track and have that conversation but if not I'll be just fine with the good memories we had. I hope this message reads ok and isn't nasty or attacking as honestly it's not meant to be. Hope you have a fun day with the boys. 👍x

OP posts:
ohfortuna · 25/02/2018 17:03

he wants some sort of no string hook up arrangement doesnt he.
If the sex is outstanding Mozzchops then it might be worth keeping him on for a while until you find a better replacement?
Obvs make sure everything is on your terms...he shows up when you want him to and then leaves when you're bored of him

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 25/02/2018 17:11

Noooo he thinks it's outstanding, don't get me wrong it was good but nor outstanding

I cancelled the date because he started being a dick about 4 hours before we were due to go out, which he used to do a lot and I thought fuck this

I'm celibate for 3 months maybe longer so sex isn't an option

OP posts:
ohfortuna · 25/02/2018 17:20

Sounds like he's just going to be stress and hassle Mozz
In your shoes I might be tempted to draw him in to get my own back for his previous bad treatment but that would also be hassle.
Prob best to use some version of 'grey rock technique' ie very minimal engagement, dont feed him with anything.
Dont bother with witty insults just decline and be boring so you fall off his radar

aftertheevent · 25/02/2018 17:38

I think he wants to get back with you but is insecure hence the I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket rant.
The thing is hes unable to see this from your POV and no woman wants to be told that.
he hasn't got the confidence to be honest so instead you got this drivel. He honestly thinks you are playing him. And I think you are as you said.
Best to ignore and move on maybe.
He has no insight into his own behaviour hence the immature text.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 25/02/2018 17:41

Aftertheevent you've got it spot on I think
He can never truly let himself go as he doesn't want someone to 'get one over on him'
So after reading this thread I think it's probably a way of getting me to say 'no I don't want you to see other people, I just want you' which will make him feel a bit more secure

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 25/02/2018 18:37

my DD despises him

  • there is no need to be even having this conversation, this thread - anything.

He's gone.

Risen · 25/02/2018 18:47

It sounds like he wants to reel you in, only to treat you like shite again Angry

YearOfYouRemember · 25/02/2018 18:51

I still this the bloke you posted about a few weeks ago?

DatingLife · 25/02/2018 18:57

yep, agree OP, he's twisting himself up in knots.

the insecurity - its just all so desperate and "needy" tipping over to cowardly userdome. are you as a real person even in his "equation".

merville · 25/02/2018 19:04

He's like little Britain's Vichy pollard - yeah but no but yeah but no but ..

Other posters have him nailed

merville · 25/02/2018 19:07

Vicky! Fn autocorrect

ohfortuna · 25/02/2018 19:18

probably a way of getting me to say 'no I don't want you to see other people, I just want you' which will make him feel a bit more secure

I think that's you doing the 'wifework'/ emotional labour/taking on the mental load...you're putting in the effort to understand and decipher him.

He pretends to have low self esteem but really he thinks he's gods gift to women.
He's already playing you.
you dont see eye to eye and he treated you badly.
Stop wasting time and energy on him

blackeyes72 · 25/02/2018 19:33

He sounds awful... Not sure how he envisages an "open relationship".. Sounds ghastly to me

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 25/02/2018 19:37

He really was awful the first year was amazing the last 2 were just and endless hideous cycle of him apologising for his behaviour and me taking him back and repeat!!

I'm so tired of people taking the piss, it's not going to continue!

OP posts:
PhelanThePain · 25/02/2018 19:47

Why on earth haven’t you ended contact with this weirdo long ago? Confused what are you holding onto him for?

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 25/02/2018 19:51

I did

Then I got dumped by a guy I really liked and saddlo that I am I messaged the ex
I realise that was not my smartest move before anyone kindly points that out

OP posts:
PhelanThePain · 25/02/2018 19:57

Get smarter Wink

In all seriousness though, get smarter. You’re only damaging your one emotional well being by keeping him in play. You don’t need this shit. You can happily live the rest of your life without ever hearing his name again. Your daughter despises him? What more reason do you need? Seriously?

PhelanThePain · 25/02/2018 19:59

You do not need to be in a relationship with a man. Just because you are dumped by one man doesn’t mean you reach out for the nearest loser you can find. You can survive as a single person (I know!) work on your own self esteem and self reliance.

category12 · 25/02/2018 20:01

Just delete, block and think no more about him.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 25/02/2018 20:05

I might deliberately misunderstand him, if I were you and say something sweetly conciliatory, while shutting it down. After all, what you really end now is for him to leave you alone.

Maybe “Don’t worry, your message didn’t read as nasty or attacking. I think you’re right that we’re not quite in the same place as each other at the moment so it’s best left. Thanks for being so upfront about everything.” He might just bugger off because you’ve left him with his dignity intact.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 25/02/2018 20:05

*need now (not end)

arsenaltilidie · 25/02/2018 20:08

I think he’s just as bad as yourself.
You messaged him for an ego boost and he’s simply doing the same with you.

mehhh · 25/02/2018 20:09

The end part makes no sense really but from that I'd take "can we see each other but also sleep with other people and do what we like" ie - can I have the best of both worlds please

Shoxfordian · 25/02/2018 21:23

He's not some misunderstood tortured soul. Don't fall for any of his insecure bullshit.

He sounds like a knob
Stop texting him; block and delete are your friends

troodiedoo · 25/02/2018 21:32

He's a twat who believes his own wishy washy bullshit drama. File the message in the bin and get on with your life.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.