Why can't I get over this man? Constructive advice please.

[runnerbean09]

We only dated for three months!

Met online, I had been doing OLD for about 2 years and only met one other person I really liked. Some messing around with men but no one I could see a future with.

Then I met this guy and we were very attracted to each other. He also seemed keen - he did what he said he would, took me out a lot etc. Then I thought his interest was fading but tried to ignore it. Stuff like forgetting my birthday, not messaging me, not making plans for us. The final straw was seeing he had updated his profile online. So I ended it before Christmas.

We haven’t been in contact but I can’t get over it. I’m still crying every day! I feel really sad and depressed and I miss having someone and something to look forward to.

I presume I did something wrong because he was really keen then backed off but I don’t know what - he says I didn’t and that he hasn’t got time for a relationship but I don’t buy into that.

I think dating would probably make me feel better but I reject everyone that isn’t like him and also what’s the point when it never works out - I can’t even sustain someone who is really keen!

Not sure what to do anymore but I don’t want to be alone forever although it seems pointless to try with anyone else. I’ve stopped thinking of myself as someone who deserves or is capable of being in a relationship but I’m only 28!

What can I do to feel better?

Bloody hell, you've a lot of Job's friends on your thread!

ie blaming you. It's all you fault. You did this/that wrong

Girl, he was a dick. Who would want to be with a cokehead? yy he was attractive but a cokehead. That's the deal broken right there.

You're crying out of despair and grief that nothing is ever going to work and you're going to be on your own forever. That's not true but that's the space you're in. You've been slogging away at this for 2 years and you're worn out and utterly down and hopeless.

Give dating a break. Go and do some lovely things and really enjoy them. You deserve it after all your hard work

He wasn’t the right man for you, listing his flaws is a great start, do this in real life. You will find someone better.

I really feel for you! I think you're being given a really hard time on here!
I fell hard for my now dh on our very first date and personally think all that 'men like bitches' bollocks insulting, to both men and women,
Don't give up but don't ever be talked into playing games. If someone genuinely likes you, it's just not necessary. I was very full on right from the start with dh and totally upfront about how much I'd fallen for him, he didn't run a mile because he felt the same.

Blimey, runner, I'm 43, carrying a few extra pounds, low self esteem and have never had a successful/positive relationship and there's not a cat in hell's chance I'd even entertain a perpetually single, 40yo coke head!

If you honestly think you'll never meet anyone else and he was the best you could do; your one and only chance, then I really would recommend that you seek out some counselling.

Lack of self value, OP. For the most part thats all it is. At 28 you are so young. Maybe look into what the issues might be. Were you valued in your family, for example?

If you had more self-value you might be thinking ... its a shame he lost out but his choice ...

Step away from the dating apps. Seriously. I don't know anyone who's met someone decent on them. Apologies to those who have found true love.. but this is my experience.

Stop thinking you need another person to be happy. Be ok with yourself and your own company. It takes a while but once you get there you'll wonder why you ever got hung up on this one.

If you can do this, I can honestly say you'll be in a much better place, when you do meet someone worthy of you.