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Original poster

Can your husband see when he is wrong and apologise?

37 replies

WishfulWanderer · 20/02/2018 22:59

My husband has never really (unless requested) been able to say 'I messed up sorry' or words to that effect. He can't admit he's wrong then apologise, instead keeps saying I am not going to feel guilty about that. It drives me insane. A week later he will deny the whole thing (the mishap) ever happened, and I am making it up.

Just wondering what other's are like?

Ta

OP posts:
Marcine · 20/02/2018 23:03

Nope, can't admit he's wrong and really hates it if I have to tell him something or know better than him.

NewSingleMummy · 20/02/2018 23:05

The exact reason why I'm now single!

sadiesnakes · 20/02/2018 23:07

No,, he never can🙁

Itmakesthereaderreadon · 20/02/2018 23:09

It's not just a husband thing. I'm not great at being in.the wrong. I prefer it all to go away quietly, so I don't have to apologise.

MiffedMummy · 20/02/2018 23:09

Either an excuse as to why it's not his fault, at the end of going around in circles there's still no apology or he will just not respond if he's wrong and will say "well you're right so what do you want me to say?" if pressed. He'll very conveniently forget he said or did something which caused my nagging/annoyance and just say it didn't happen because he can't/doesn't want to remember.

Drives me crackers!

Soconfused18 · 20/02/2018 23:23

Mine never could even when he cheated it was somehow my fault 🙄

lostpigeon · 20/02/2018 23:25

Women are never wrong either though, are they?

Thistlebelle · 20/02/2018 23:26

Yes becaus he’s a fully functioning adult.

PaperdollCartoon · 20/02/2018 23:29

Yes he can, and does. I am very clear about spelling out when he’s wrong and don’t make him guess though. Plus it is more often my fault when we argue (don’t let him hear me say that) m.

NoSquirrels · 20/02/2018 23:37

I don’t think that’s a character fault I could live with fir long. My DH has improved with age, but he has always been able to apologise. Sometimes it does come with a justification attached, but it’s still a sincere apology if he was incorrect about something or upset someone.

Goodasgoldilox · 21/02/2018 00:09

I am still learning how to apologise when wrong. My DH is very graceful in this respect and it is something I really admire about him.

Shoxfordian · 21/02/2018 05:15

Yes he can apologise when he's wrong
Denying it ever happened is called gaslighting, its a sign of emotional abuse

MaxWeber · 21/02/2018 05:19

Of course.
Why would you marry the kind of emotionally immature twat who cant apologise?

Kr250710 · 21/02/2018 11:29

Mine also never apologises, says sorry or admits he is wrong. Even when it is staring him in the face and there are other people backing me up. It drives me insane, causes more rows than probably necessary and also means that said rows are very rarely resolved as no apology received.

However, I’m aware I am also not perfect and probably do stuff to drive him insane such as when I know he is wrong and refuses to admit it, I push and push and push lol. Obviously that doesn’t really help lol.

SpringerLink · 21/02/2018 11:56

Nope, and it's why I'm leaving him. He can't say sorry or thank you without prompting. He can say two contradicotry reasons for why he did something wrong/unkind/offensive withing minutes of each other, and not think that's odd or that one of them can't be true. And he will flat out deny doing things if he knows that they are resiously worng, even when other people have seen/heard him do it. I think he has MH isues, but he is adamant that he does not and won't try getting any help.

Adults should be able to see things they do wrong, talk about them and move on.

AthenasOwl · 21/02/2018 12:06

Yes he can and so do I ..we talk about what's happened, we acknowledge our mistakes or faults and we talk it through and move on because that's what healthy people do.
My ex partner however was another story..never admitted when he was wrong, minimised, gaslighted and twisted things and never apologised..it was a very messed up relationship.

choccybiscuit · 21/02/2018 12:50

Mine said something very upsetting to me once. Still hasn't said sorry. I can't forget it happened, so i bring it up occasionally and say I'm still waiting for an apology. It never comes.

cremedelashite · 21/02/2018 12:52

Yes but it's not a pretty process. Takes a day and much disgruntlement.

WandaWitch · 21/02/2018 12:53

Those of you that are saying that you don’t apologise or hate apologising when you are wrong - why is that? Can you explain? I don’t understand why people don’t apologise?

Seriouslyscrewed · 21/02/2018 12:55

Nope. Nothing to date has ever been dp's fault. It is always some ones else's, or in reaction to someone else who "started it". He's a child.

After years of trying to change it I've just accepted it and moved on.

Shadow1986 · 21/02/2018 12:56

Maybe 1% of the time and that’s being generous

Changedname3456 · 21/02/2018 13:16

This is definitely not just a “husband” / male thing! My exW has never, (even before she cheated and we split) and will never, admit she’s mistaken or in the wrong about something.

She once (when we were still together) happily admitted that she’d been the same in childhood. I should have recognised the flag waving at the time, but we live and learn.

MatildaTheCat · 21/02/2018 13:24

Interesting. No, he finds it very difficult. I am far happier to say, yes, I got that wrong, sorry.

But he will usually compromise on whatever we were in disagreement about and he quietly backs down. It’s just the actual ‘sorry, I was wrong’ that’s too hard to say.

I quite like the moral high ground though. Smile

sexyegg · 21/02/2018 13:35

My husband apologised TOO much 😂

sexyegg · 21/02/2018 13:35
  • apologises