Can your husband see when he is wrong and apologise?

[WishfulWanderer]

My husband has never really (unless requested) been able to say 'I messed up sorry' or words to that effect. He can't admit he's wrong then apologise, instead keeps saying I am not going to feel guilty about that. It drives me insane. A week later he will deny the whole thing (the mishap) ever happened, and I am making it up.

Just wondering what other's are like?

Ta

My DH is very good at saying when he is wrong. It is me that struggles with it! But I am making an effort to improve. I have always found it hard, I don't now why.
In our relationship DH is the sensitive one and I am definitely much harder work. But I do at least acknowledge this and I trying to change.

I always apologise when I'm wrong. It's cathartic. Denial is shit for the other person.

Yes he does. He doesn't do much wrong though.

My MIL told me FIL had never apologised once in 50 years of marriage (and he needed to!)

No my other half never apologises for anything very rarely says Thank you for anything even Christmas/Birthday presents .& always thinks he's right!

DH always admits if he is in the wrong and gives a heartfelt apology if he has upset me or messed up.

I on the other hand am very stubborn and even if I know I am in the wrong find it very hard to admit it.

I often wonder why he loves me so much. I would have lost the plot long ago if it was the other way round

XH didn't. It was like saying sorry somehow meant he wasn't as perfect as he'd been brought up to believe.

Current boyfriend apologises without prompting AND makes an effort to rectify whatever is wrong. It's very refreshing.

Yes. Often he works it out for himself. Sometimes though I need to tell him .

I am convinced that this is a result of the type of parenting that we love! Forcing small children to say sorry, when they are very clearly not sorry.

DD is a great apologiser. I didn't force her. She would do something, I would give her a consequence. If she said she felt bad or unhappy, I would ask, "how can we make this better?". Often the answer was to apologise. Her choice, it made her feel good, not bad, it becomes a habit.

So often making children apologise is a battle of wills. Win the battle, lose the war.

No, he couldn't. I'd explain why I felt hurt and he'd say that he never meant to hurt me, implying that I was being unreasonable to complain. Even if it was obvious that what he did would hurt me to anyone with common sense. But how can you prove that if someone denies it? I gave up on him as a lost cause, really, and never worked out if he honestly could not see the obvious or was just shutting his eyes to avoid an inconvenient truth.

Current boyfriend of a year notices of his own accord if I am or might be hurt by his actions and leaps to check I'm OK, or apologise. Last weekend he was a bit huffy about a trip to the theatre I arranged, making sarky comments about the play. When we came out he apologised for being in a bad mood and I said it was fine, I knew he'd had a really bad week and anyway he was entitled to his opinion. Even so, the next day he sent a text apologising again and inviting me for a meal. My ex never did anything like that even at the start of our relationship.

The bf's a rough, gruff, self-assured type who doesn't discuss feelings much, but I don't need to complain as he has that basic empathy my ex either lacked or repressed.

(Seeing his example I have started to check my own behaviour! I'll apologise if someone points something out but I can be a bit slow on the uptake...)

Mine is much better than I am at it. One of the things I admire about him.

Either an excuse as to why it's not his fault, at the end of going around in circles there's still no apology or he will just not respond if he's wrong and will say "well you're right so what do you want me to say?" if pressed. He'll very conveniently forget he said or did something which caused my nagging/annoyance and just say it didn't happen because he can't/doesn't want to remember.

Same as miffed, which is leading to massive arguments. He'll finally apologize, but generally only at the point that I'm wishing I'd never met him, and even then it's only to shut me up. The other tactic is to accuse me of never admitting I'm wrong, which is an outright lie, though because he rarely listens properly I'm fairly sure that's the case in his head.