Bloody dating sites - which one FFS?!

[FreshFigs]

I've been trying OLD on and off for over a year now and it seems to be fucking tedious and a massive waste of time (and money).

I've tried: OKCupid, Tinder, Match, Zoosk and POF. The selection of blokes in my age group is appalling: fugly, creepy, boring, players, entitled, one message and they disappear, lying about their age etc.

I have heard good things about (but haven't yet paid for) Soul Mates - seems like you can't do ANYTHING without coughing up ££.

I paid briefly for Match and Zoosk but found them to be no better than the free ones.

I get out and about socially but all the men I'm attracted to seem to have partners.

Convinced I might have to just allow my fanny to close up and acquire a small family of dogs to cuddle of an evening instead.

I'm not hideous. I'm a young 46, nice face with a podgy middle.

I suppose it's nice not having to fuss about shaving my legs and armpits....

I'm rambling now.

Fresh We probably don't get sent unsolicited dick shots, though, to be fair, which a lot of women seem to get according to MN (although oddly enough all of my female friends who've used OLD say they've never received any; for reference, I only know TWO people who've had a long term relationship from OLD out of dozens and dozens of friends who've used it).

There was another similar thread recently what women hate about OLD profiles and several male posters went on and said "here's our version" , I'll try and find it. I know most men said they avoid profiles that say things like "full time mummy", "my kids are my world/life, "my kids are everything" or "my kids will always come first" - which of course they should, but all you need to say is if you're a parent or not. It doesn't say anything about YOU as a person. Only having photos of you among a group of friends so you can't actually tell who is the person whose profile it is in a regular annoyance. Photos using any form of filter whatsoever or pulling any sort of pout or duck face. Instant turn off.

Oh and believe me, plenty of women lie about their age or use old photos too. Either that or the majority of women online dating in my neck of the woods have had very, very hard lives. Most of those in their apparent mid-30s look far older than me and I'm almost 44.

Last night I had 5 matches on Bumble and so followed all of them up with a quick message.

I've just checked and they have ALL disappeared! FFS!

I've no idea where I went wrong with this. I updated my profile, so perhaps there's something there putting them off?

Fresh that's happened to me loads. Online dating is just brutal whatever the site you are on!

My wise friend (who met her lovely partner online) said it's a numbers game.

I have 3 couple friends who all met on eharmony and subsequently married. Maybe worth a try?

I met my man on POF and we're still happily together more than 2 years on, my friend met her husband on Tinder.

I don't think it's the site which makes a difference (unless it's a specific shared interest one) - I just think it's patience and honesty.

Maybe it's just karma paying me back for what I went through with exDH?

Good luck!

My sister and I met our respective husbands on match.com

She has been married 6 years, I have been married 5, both second marriages, I have a son by my first husband, she has a daughter by her first husband.

We are now in our forties, we are not supermodels, but we aren't mingers either. In fact my sister is younger, better looking, slimmer, and lo and behold, her husband is older and less hunky than mine!

Talking about the husbands, the men we married were also divorced, mine with two kids, hers with one, both are professional, attractive, solvent, kind, supportive. In short, you can take them out in public!

I'd recommend the site.

I pressed sent too soon!

I should add, both my sister and I, before meeting the ones were subjected to very many exchanges of all kinds with all sorts of imbeciles, weirdos, toxic maniacs and general fuckwits...

Some men were actually good guys, just not for us, which was also heart breaking considering the amount of time invested in creating relationships with them.

My advice is, do not give up, carry on looking, carry on believing, the ones that told me that love didn't need finding, that it just happened by chance when they least expected it were wrong, so wrong.

Bixg I’ve done a background date on First Dates! It’s great fun!

Has anyone tried a dating/introduction agency ? They are quite expensive I believe but wonder if they work as everyone who is registered is checked out beforehand.

Well folks.... I've had a VERY busy week on Bumble...

I think I've found someone potentially really special. It's insane!

Was swiping away as usual and there he was. Swiped right and he liked back straight away. Messaging has been awesome and we've had a couple of very long chats on the phone. We are supposed to be going on a date on Saturday - weather permitting (fucking snow!).

I'm rather excited!

Before anyone thinks I'm being naive or whatever... I've worked my way through a year of turds. Let's just say I've put the hours in 😬

I'm currently looking through my wardrobe for appropriate first date outfits.

This man is very smart and takes his time over his appearance. It's part of his job. So the pressure is on a bit. It's not the weather for pretty heels dammit.

Heeeeeelp - advice please!

Yes! Go you! Wear whatever you like and whatever makes you feel confident and happy, if he’s the right man for you then he won’t give a shit what you’re wearing.

Enjoy those first date butterflies! Really hope it goes well for you

My theory on Bumble was most blokes (don’t want to say all - cos this may not apply to you @ShatnersWig and I have no wish to offend!) swipe right for most women. You, however, may be more discerning. And so when you get a match you think “Yay.” It’s at the match point, though, the blokes do their first shortlist. Hence why they then unmatch.
That is my scientifically unproven theory having spent numerous months on numerous websites!

And I’m still looking for a decent OLD site.
I too had high hopes for Bumble but have now come off it.
I’m on Hinge, but keep running out of blokes!
I’m back in Tinder, but it depresses me 😢😂
So I’m following this with interest.....!

How exciting about your date Fresh! I hope you have a great time

I've also joined Tinder but refuse to shell out cash to see who's liked me. I've trawled through 100's of tinder profiles and only liked 3 who haven't matched back. I really cba looking through any more bald headed mugshots of people who like being 'tactile'

What’s happening, Fresh? Date still going ahead?

don't bother wasting your money on soulmates! i was on it for 3 months. not only did i not go on one single date, i didn't even have a decent chat with anyone.

i've actually had the most dates through tinder. i'm in london and i think anyone who's single here will probably be on tinder anyway. bumble is garbage. hardly anyone replies!

like a pp said i don't think any one site is better than another, it's who you meet that counts.

@frieda909 - are background dates on first dates as well matched as the ones they actually show?

OK so the fucking snow meant he couldn't get the car out of his drive and so we have postponed to next Saturday.

We spoke on the phone for over two hours yesterday and have messaged on and off all weekend.

Masses of common ground, three friends in common, roared with laughter on the phone. Both of us are very excited.

We actually Googled each other while speaking on the phone. Went off and read stuff and then came back and had a giggle about what we'd found (we both have jobs peripheral to the entertainment industry and are on You Tube).

I feel really weird - all jumbly and nauseous.

Sort of scared and excited at the same time.

The oddest thing is that a nanosecond ago I was fed up and on the verge of giving up on OLD.

I think Bumble is amazing though!

awww, I feel like I've helped a bit by suggesting Bumble. Can i come to the wedding?

I loathe OLD with a passion and have deleted all the apps. I'm just going to read about fellow MN'ers romances and cheer you on from the sidelines

Bixg you honestly might have had a part in changing two people's lives. I'll keep you posted! xxx

More chat today and all coming along nicely...

What is OLD?? Thanks :)

Bumble - so many of the guys look too good !! Some of the photos are amazing . They are making toto much effort

Date is tomorrow.
He's lovely and we have spoken on the phone lots.
But I feel really sick.
I could puke.
Is this normal?