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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Should I throw him out?

29 replies

Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:16

Dog dropped a very hard solid ball onto OH foot, he screamed out in pain but then pushed the dog away by the side of his neck (like a lashing out).

Should I leave him? 2 years together. I can't fucking stand animal abuse

OP posts:
ALittleBitConfused1 · 17/02/2018 14:22

I'm assuming the two events happened at the same time. I have a very playful dog if I screamed put in anyway he would be there and I would possibly react by pushing him out of the way for fear he would jump on the foot.
I'm assuming in two years he hasn't been violent towards the dog, or you, in normal circumstances.

Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:25

ALittleBitConfused1 yep at the same time.

And yes he has been violent towards me in the past.

OP posts:
user1483387154 · 17/02/2018 14:25

From reading what you wroye in your op, that would be a huge overreaction

user1483387154 · 17/02/2018 14:26

Ahh the good old drip feed!

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 17/02/2018 14:26

I don't think you should throw him out, no. I think you should tell him you didn't like seeing him treat the dog that way and if it happened again then you would need to re-think things.

I don't think reacting to pain was animal abuse. He pushed the dog away after it hurt him, he didn't attack it completely unprovoked.

We have a very playful one year old husky and I'm sure I have pushed him away (gently) when he's jumped on me or hurt me. As has dh.

Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:27

I agree user1483387154

Dog didn't intend to hurt, I'm a massive animal lover and I'd never dream in a million years of doing that. I would of got over the pain and put the ball away.

OP posts:
Wellfuckmeinbothears · 17/02/2018 14:27

Well that was a massive drip feed...

You should have thrown him out when he was violent to you.

Starlighter · 17/02/2018 14:28

What??

I hate animal abuse too but this isn’t animal abuse!

I’d be more worried about the previous violence towards you rather than just pushing a dog away in an impulse moment after being hurt... Confused

Peekabum · 17/02/2018 14:29

Hitting a human = fine.
Pushing a dog = worst thing ever.

... what? This makes no sense.

Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:29

It was a shove to the neck.
He's currently lying in bed saying how "ashamed he is" of what he's done, so with that being said, he wouldn't be feeling that way would if he hadn't done anything wrong.

Wellfuckmeinbothears long story

OP posts:
Livinglifepeachy · 17/02/2018 14:30

If he hurt the dog I would throw him out. I have a dog too and believe me I would be so fierce if anyone touched him in an aggressive way. He is my baby and i would protect him as if it was a child or baby. Imagine if you grabbed a baby or a child by the neck and shoved him or her away...just saying

Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:30

Well why does he feel guilty then? I'm confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:30

Livinglifepeachy my thinking also

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 17/02/2018 14:33

Cos if he didn't pretend (!!!) to feel guilty you might recognize what an asshole he is and leave him. Then who would he use as his punching bag? He's an abuse, manipulate bully, but unfortunately not stupid

Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:36

You might be on to something here as his apology was laughable

OP posts:
WillowWept · 17/02/2018 14:36

Your attitude makes no sense at all

RebelRogue · 17/02/2018 14:37

Leave him for being abusive to you. The dog incident is a non event. You don't need his permission or ours. You don't need to justify it .
He's abusive and you're not happy. Make him leave.

Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:37

WillowWept elaborate?

OP posts:
Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:39

The abuse towards myself was around 4 months into the relationship, it lasted for about 3 months and I left him, he begged and pleaded for another chance and he changed, the emotional abuse stopped completely (I was house bound) it went from 100%-0%, he just changed. We took it really slowly and it's never shown signs of it since

OP posts:
TellsEveryoneRealFacts · 17/02/2018 14:40

If it takes him pushing a dog to get rid then great.

But if anyone is violent to you in the future, you need to fucking end it.

Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:41

TellsEveryoneRealFacts believe me, I was a different person back then. I sometimes look back in anger and discust and wonder how I ever let it happen.

OP posts:
MadMags · 17/02/2018 14:45
Hmm
Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:45

Also it wasn't a case of 'drip feed' he did completely change towards me hence why I never brought up the past, if I did mention you'd all have a biased opinion because he's been violent in past. So I left it out to gain true perspective

OP posts:
Original poster
Buddha38 · 17/02/2018 14:46

MadMags what's with the "Hmm"?

OP posts:
MadMags · 17/02/2018 14:49

Just an odd thread, really. But you appear to be snappy and defensive, and just...off!

You must have known that people would think him being violent to you would be at least as serious as him pushing a dog away...