Did you get married/pregnant early on in your relationship?

[HatchetFace]

I'm trying to figure out if I'm being a naive idiot or if this can actually work out...!

I've been with my boyfriend less than 6 months but we both feel like this is 100% it. Very in love and best friends. Due to age (30) and a genetic condition we're going to need to crack on with baby making sooner rather than later. When we start trying we'll probably only have been together a year. Both want to get married at some point too. We already know each other very well as we dated many years ago when we were basically kids, but have been friends ever since. I trust him completely and we have similar values.

I wasn't sure about the whole 'when you know you just know' thing before I got back with him but now it just seems so obvious. Friends think I'm going way too quickly as they've been with partners 8+ years before marriage.

Is it crazy to rush into things? Did it work out for you?

Met in November, married December the next year, first dc born October the year after.

This was 27 years ago

I think in your shoes I would also be keen to get on with the baby-making!

But def enjoy the first flush as much as you can before it's all dirty nappys and arguing over who puts the bins out.

We got married after we'd been together a few weeks! In fact, looking back we barely knew each other... but it felt 'right'. Obviously it's a stupid thing to do, but we were young and impulsive.

Astonishingly we celebrate our silver wedding next year!

Met in June. Planning our future together in the first three weeks. Pregnant (unintentionally) a month in. Miscarried, then pregnant again in October by which point we’d set a wedding date. Very, very happy for five years before things turned to absolute shit - but that had little to do with the speed of getting together.

Met at 19, and knew the minute I saw him, without even speaking to him.

Moved in together 6 months later. Married at 21 (had to save up). Had DS1 at 23, after I'd been told I wouldn't be able to conceive naturally. 30 years married, 32 years together, and 3 DCs later, still very happy and in love.

Gumbo congrats!

Those of you who moved in after weeks and married after months, would you say you're a naturally spontaneous person anyway? Or was it out of character for you?

I'm definitely not spontaneous and I moved in with my now husband 6 years ago after about two months together. I do think the fact that you've known each other previously makes a difference too though. We'd worked together for a few years. We'd also made comments jokingly about marrying each other one day as we got on so well

Very out of character. But by that point I was pregnant so what could go wrong 😅

We’ve only been together 3.5 years (known each other for 15 if that makes a difference?!) But in that time we’ve moved twice, had two children and gotten married.

When I wake up next to him every morning my first thought is honestly, ‘I am so happy I married this man’. So no regrets yet!!

Ooh yes!

Got together in the October, got engaged in March, announced it officially in May and got married two years after we met. Been together 12 years.

I knew he was the one from the third date. After years of kissing frogs everything finally fell into place.

We were engaged within a year of getting together and married eight months later.

Similarly I’d known him years before. It just felt like coming home, so easy and uncomplicated, yet I felt more than any relationship before.

I couldn't think of anything worse than a relationship until I met him. We moved in together after a month. Fell pregnant after 2 months and had our DD before our 1 year anniversary.
He is my best friend and I couldn't be happier.

My DP and I moved in after 2 months, fell pregnant after 11 months, and have now been together for 2 years - may not sounds a lot to some people but when you know, you know!

Ahh some of these are lovely! Mine told me I was "the one" after four weeks but we didn't move in for 18 months as one of us had to relocate (long distance relationship!)

No, but my husband and I were lucky to meet in our early twenties so we had the luxury of time.

I would be very wary of TTC with someone I hadn’t known for long, in part because my parents hadn’t been in a relationship for long when my mum fell pregnant (unplanned) and they split up when I was very young. So I’ve always been determined not to repeat their mistakes. However, i guess there is a risk of splitting up one day no matter how long you’re together before having children. The important thing is to be as sure as you can be that you’re doing it with the right person and not settling or ignoring any warning signs.

In your case you’ve been friends for years so I think it’s slightly different anyway. You do know each other even though you weren’t in a romantic relationship the whole time.

But I would still live together for at least 6 months (preferably a year) before TTC. I think that’s a crucial test of a relationship.

Also have you met each other’s families and does everyone get on ok or are there tensions? In-laws can create drama when you get married and have children...

Met my husband on my first day at uni. Moved in together 3 days later - he became an illegal resident on my all female corridor in the hall of residence. I didn’t know what his name was, as the union bar was v noisy when we met and I couldn’t hear his introduction. After a week, I felt so embarrassed not knowing what to call him, that I went through his pockets to find his student ID card and discover his name!
We loved each other to bits, married 5 years later, had two kids, and were together until he died at the age of 36, when the kids were still babies.
That was 26 years ago and I miss him to this day. I’m so glad we didn’t delay moving in together, as we only had 16 years before he died.

Babdoc
So sorry for your loss

We married two and a half years in, but were confident that this was it a couple of months in. Been married 17 years now, 3 dc, still confident this is it for life.

Babdoc

I got pregnant the first time we slept together, after a month. That baby is 30 this year and we are still together. We were so stupid, and very very lucky.

We fell pregnant pretty early on, 6/7 months into relationship, I was 17. 12 years later were married and 2 other kids

Met, moved in, and married within 6 months .

My only advice is if you intend to have children then get married first - even if it's just a registry office with two witnesses.

Once you have a baby the 'equality' of that choice disappears and the need is all with the one left taking the financial hit (mat leave - parttime hours, possible sahm)

moved in with my now dh about 6-8 weeks after we met but from day 1 we spent every possible minute with each other and wen we weren't together we were on the phone. found out I was pg 8 weeks after we met but ended in mc then got pregnant a second time 4 months in. Got married wen the baby was 6 months old so about 18 months after we met... we're still together and very happy and just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. I knew within the first 2-3 weeks that he was it 4 me.
when u know u just know
xx

I married my husband a year after meeting him. Our son was born 11 months later. Our marriage is still going strong over a decade later. I don't regret marrying him so quickly, in a way I do wish we had waited to have children, as it was hard to adapt to so many changes in a short time. However it has all worked out for the best for us.

Dh proposed the first time he kissed me, said he'd never been surer of anything else in his life. We've been together 18 years (although it did take more than one kiss to convince me to marry him). He moved in within a fortnight and I was out of the country for a week of that though.

We didn't want kids until all our friends/family started having them and infected Dh with the baby bug so Ds was 15 years into the relationship and the current bump will be 18 and a half years later.