Am I wrong/stupid for being mad/upset about this

[DollFace13]

Hiya everyone
I had posted a while back and me and Ds father.
We have been very up and down the past year in the relationship which has resulted in us living separately.
A lot has gone on. So I won't bore you all as I'm sure by my last post I already did
Cut a long story short. DS is 20 months.
Me and DS have been together nearly 3 years in May but have been friends 10 years.
In those 3 months a hell of a lot has gone on. Very draining. I even moved from Scotland to be here so he could be part of DS life. I get no thanks and no efforts from his side of the family to see Ds ( only when DF has DS at weekends and it's on their door step)
Annnyway.
Me and OH finally called it quits in December but it's been very flaky and we've still been in contact. Civil chit chat and for DS arrangements ( which until not he made unbelievable difficult)

Anyway yesterday 13th February ( eye rolls day before valentine's) was his birthday and although we haven't really been talking the past week. I bought gifts from me and DS . He was happy by this.

Now my issue is this.
As we don't live together I ordered Valentine's cards to his house and a Millie's cookie from DS saying "'happy Valentine's day daddy"
I made sure it was delivered today ect.
Apparently he had got it all after the cookie was delivered to next door as they thought he wasn't home. Yet he didn't even message me to say he'd got them or thanks (although he's been speaking to me yesterday )
As the day went on the realisation kicked in that it looks like I wasn't getting anything at all for Valentine's .. I don't mean from him.but I thought he might of got me a card from our DS as a nice thought.
But nope..... It's got to about 9pm now OH works till 7 so I thought maybe he might drive through with something rather than have something delivered. But nope
This actually really hurt me. The fact that not even a thought to get a card from DS for me for Valentine's.
I questioned it a lot and thought maybe I'm being ridiculous but then I messaged him. We have ended up arguing . His excuse being he thought I ordered this all ages ago when we were on good terms and if I hadn't k wouldn't have given him.anythin today. Which I said wasn't true. I would still get him something from DS hense why there's no gift from me.
Then he through a spanner in the works and said .
Well I didn't acknowledge his birthday last year when we were under the same roof..
(There is a reason I didn't and he knows that reason)
But apparently I didn't and he's pinned that on me for every occasion. Including our anniversary last year. I got him a card ( even though we argued days before) but he didn't get me one yet used the same excuse that I didn't acknowledge his birthday .

Anyway. Am I being ridiculous for being upset. Because I really am :( I've had the shittiest day

You are correct there, people do adapt holidays to how they want; I was just pointing out the reason people are viewing it as weird.

I understand why you feel upset about last year vs this year but last year it seems you were much more of a couple, whereas now neither of you are really sure where you are... I definitely agree about the clear boundaries and wish you the best with it

I think it's fine to get your son a valentines gift as your mum did you. Sending an estranged partner one, ok, unusual but fair enough. However him, like many people would not consider doing such a thing and I think that's where you're being unreasonable.

If I had split from my husband no I wouldn't have sent him a valentines gift from our daughter, it would feel like it was from me. If I got one, I'd feel like it was from my ex in disguise.

You can't be all upset and demanding he sends you valentines stuff from the kids. It's not right.

I do also wonder if you wish to have more of a relationship with him that you're admitting to us on here or even yourself.

Id also add as you called it quits in December, last year you were still a couple. This year you are not. That's a huge difference.

@bluntness

I can 💯% say I do not wish to continue a relationship with him. He has giving me hell the past few years and I've forgiven him time and time again. So it would actually be a relief not to be in a relationship with him.

Like I have said in previous posts. We are very rocky ATM esp since he left this house in july and yes I did say it was over in the heat of the moment in December but we have both since then been dating and trying to work it out. It's not like we ended it and that's it. So that's why I maybe have taken it to heart more than j should have.
If we were definitely over then maybe I wouldn't of sent him a gift from our DS. Or me being me I probably would have as it's from our son not me.

I also did not demand him get me gifts from our DS. I just asked why hadn't he and he started arguing with me about something that happened last year and that's why he didn't do it ect.
He chose not to do it in return . Fair enough . I'm over it and I won't be doing it again that's for sure.
I want nothing more to do with him. I will be staying all this so it's as clear as day so he understands and knows not to start messaging me chit chat.