Why are men so happy after a break up?

[spagbolface]

Why after a break up do men seem so cheery and just completely fine, whereas some women are in bits? I’ve split with my dp and although I finished things I’m not sitting crying but I do feel a bit sad and he doesn’t seem bothered the slightest or even questioned me just a bit quiet but other than that normal!

Are you still living together or something? I don't understand.

They don’t. That’s a mad generalisation.

Why do some people get over break ups quicker than others? Lots of reasons. Maybe he wasn’t that into you. Maybe he’s secretly heartbroken but doesn’t want you to know.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time

I've also been, er, neutral, after being left and then quite ecstatic when I left someone.

I'm happily single for life now though, so that might be a factor....

because they're dumb and are now distracted by the TV / Shiny object / food / whatever is in front of them.

I'm sorry that you broke up. I don't think you should generalise as it really depends on the person. The men I know seem to struggle more than the women do.

I think it may be a brave front or just something people do to get by

They're not, it's likely a mask. It's a man thing.

blimey Sock, I'm not known as a man fan but even I think that's harsh!

Massive generalisation. My ex walked out on us, he is currently struggling far more than i am. I did the self pitying sobbing for about three days, now my bitch face is firmly back on. His loss!

That's not the case ime. Some men are very dramatic or angry after a break up.

I agree.

They must have an on / off button for emotions.

Men use 'Compartmentalisation' as a coping strategy so the hurt will be popped in a box on the top shelf far left hand corner. True story.

I think it's because in the case of many men they do not invest 100% of themselves in the relationship.

I can’t talk for all men, but in my case I lost 4 stone in 3 months from not eating. I cried for the first time since childhood and bored my mates virtually to tears talking through the break up.

My ex didn’t seem all that bothered, but then she’d got what she wanted and was too busy making OM “official”

“because they're dumb and are now distracted by the TV / Shiny object / food / whatever is in front of them.”

Because they’re rid of people like this

Utter generalisation that I don't agree with but this is a popular meme

Generalisation. I've a male friend who's only beginning to get past a break up (which was mutually agreed) after two years. Another male friend (now happily married) who needed therapy to get past someone who left him and was cruel about it.

Because they are all selfish bastards!

I do think men often are happier at the initial prospect of 'freedom', and then it hits them down the line, whereas women tend more towards doing it in the 'right' order. Obviously a massive generalisation though and no use to you whatsoever if you're one of the people of either sex who doesn't fit that stereotype.

@riverside2 - I was actually half joking - don’t hate ALL men. My DH is ok sometimes

@Quimby more than likely! Wouldn’t know though

My xh seemed devastated after I left him to the point of medication and difficulty working - not surprising as he had been totally committed to us - but was then set up by his family with another woman six weeks later and this was a successful relationship that was certainly still going eight years afterwards.

It took me three years before I felt able to start another relationship, though I had an ONS after about eight months. I was so allergic to sharing a bed again that I slept separately from my new partner for months after we got together.

People are individuals.

Everyone is happier after a break up, surely?

I think that maybe it’s because the stress and arguments are finally done, there is relief? Because men aren’t encouraged to show their emotions? No bloke ever says sorry mate, I’ll head over with some wine and Bridget Jones diary and we can get drunk, maudlin and teary about the bitch. Also probably why more men also commit suicide post break ups.

Generalisation. I don't think they necessarily do but they have learned to box up feelings and not show they are sad. Also a generalisation but true in my experience!

That's a massive generalisation.

Some might be happy because it was a relationship that was making them unhappy.

Some fall to pieces externally.

Some fall to pieces internally because it's much more socially acceptable. People tend to have lots of sympathy for women being upset after a break up, crying on their friends or colleagues or whatever. If it's a man unfortunately a lot of people do think 'get a grip'.

Some men check out emotionally months before the actual breakup so by the time it's happening they are already over it. So that period before where they are quiet and distant is actually them having already decided it's over.