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Original poster

V card to coworker yay or nay

50 replies

Citizenoftheworld34 · 13/02/2018 15:58

I work in a very relaxed, informal environment. Everybody in their 20's-30's.
There is a kind, super sweet guy in my team who always has a nice word for everybody.

Today he asked me how l am cards I am receiving tomorrow. I laughed at the question (I dont have a fan club! lol). So I asked him back in a joking way how many are you receiving!? as implying it would be a ton. He said "fat zero".

Now, he is a very sweet guy and I would like to leave a card in his desk. Should I? I can make it impersonal or give a hint. Or make it friendly and not romantic. I like the guy but he is 26 and I am a 34 divorced mother of 2 so I know nothing there. Just he has asked me if he could give me a hug on 2 occasions when my ex was been a jerk (had to take time off work for lawyers) and I just feel like showing some appreciation tomorrow.

OP posts:
Finderscrispy · 13/02/2018 16:01

That would be lovely. I would maybe buy him a heart shaped chocolate something instead of card, to show the sentiment. A card could be misinterpreted- I don’t know how you would do friendly with a card?

VanessaBet · 13/02/2018 16:10

I send one to a male friend just cos I started to do it years ago for similar reason, and he liked it and requested I continue! (I'm married, he's single, we're all old mates from university). It can be tricky to find one that don't have expressions of romantic love on though, this year I managed to find one that just says 'Happy Valentine's Day' in foil letters on the front. I always sign with a '?' though, to maintain the mystique!

VanessaBet · 13/02/2018 16:12

As Finderscrispy says, chocolate could be good, or a packet of love hearts - keeps it light. But who doesn't like to be thought of and have a little treat in their day?

dirtybadger · 13/02/2018 16:25

I think avoid card but some of the other suggetions might work.

PlanNumber · 13/02/2018 16:29

That's one of those things that could/should be really lovely but could also go horribly wrong, so I wouldn't. Which is sad.

Original poster
Citizenoftheworld34 · 13/02/2018 17:19

I wrote a ton of cards yesterday for my kids school mates. Peppa Pig's and similar so I definitely can find not romantic cards. Although he would definitely know that a Peppa card comes from me (no problem with that). I had thought about the chocolates but wasn't sure about alergies...

My concern was he felt uncomfortable/thought I was out of place. Although it is not a very serious environment... I don't think it grants a sexual harrasment complaint if that is what you meant PlanNumber?

He is trying to learn my native language and there were a few girls very keen to teach him so I sent him a sentence to translate that basically said women were fighting over him. When he understood the meaning he said he thought it was a compliment, said I was kind and thanked me. So don't think he will be too offended, maybe just embarrased.

OP posts:
Armygirl · 13/02/2018 18:09

I think it’s a lovely thing to do! And he sounds like a sweetie!
I also don’t think the age gap is anything to worry about if in the future you’d like to become closer! 😊

Original poster
Citizenoftheworld34 · 14/02/2018 14:39

I will leave it in his desk when he goea foe lunch :)

V card to coworker yay or nay
OP posts:
Armygirl · 14/02/2018 15:01

Let us know what he says when he gets it! 😊

CB1234 · 14/02/2018 16:04

This could easily go wrong, so personally I wouldn't do it.

MaluCachu · 14/02/2018 16:11

Let us know what the reaction was...if he let's on of course Wink

Fairylea · 14/02/2018 16:15

Off topic but why on earth do you think it would be so weird for a 26 year old to be interested in a 34 year old? Hmm I met my now dh when he was 22 and living on his mums sofa whilst back from uni and I was 32 and divorced with a young child. We have now been together 9 years and married for 5 and have a son together as well as teenage dd.

Goldenbug · 14/02/2018 16:24

I'm in a similar position. The person works in a different department which makes it easier. After a great deal of searching I found a card that says "I like you a lot" rather than "I love you".

I think you'll be OK. You could always pass it off as a "You're a good friend" card if it goes wrong.

Lucymek · 14/02/2018 17:08

How did it go.

Original poster
Citizenoftheworld34 · 14/02/2018 17:24

We sit in front of each other, so I can definitely see his face/reaction. It took him a while to notice there was a card in his desk. He smiled timidly and asked me if it was me. I joked why he would assume that and he said because it was signed "A" (my initial).
Funny conversation while both smiling all the time, "check the company directory and see how many people with initial A",

  • "The guy sitting to your right also starts with A..."
  • "but I would not expect him to give me a card"
  • "oh, but you expect one from me?"
  • "no, I didn't mean that. I ... hmmmm better shut up"

He gave me a hug and then had to run for a meeting. When he came back he asked me if I was moving teams and that made him sad. I said I would stay in the same desk, just doing something different. And he was happy to know that it was not because of the people in the team, just the work we do.

I then told him the card was from me, he said that it was sweet, thanked me and apologized for not having anything for me hahahaha Then proceeded to ask me if I am a dessert person... Maybe I will get a muffin :D TBC

OP posts:
BibiThree · 14/02/2018 17:38

This is so lovely! Well done for being brave.

Fairylea · 14/02/2018 17:52

Grin Well done!

Original poster
Citizenoftheworld34 · 14/02/2018 18:24

He is a really lovely man. He is not the handsomest or the funniest, but he is really really a great guy. And I am happy believing that the younger girls in my office appreciate that too.

I would not say an immediate no if he asked me out, but the age difference, me having kids, and working together is enough for not actively pursuing it. I find singledom pretty peaceful although I admit that I sometimes miss that adult connection, and that I am willing to change my status for a worthy awesome guy :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Citizenoftheworld34 · 14/02/2018 18:25

But not for less than awesome :)

OP posts:
DoubleNegativePanda · 14/02/2018 18:29

My oh my did I misundertstand this title. In my neck of the world, a "V Card" means your virginity!

Goldenbug · 14/02/2018 18:40

High five for OP!

Armygirl · 14/02/2018 18:42

Aw yay! 😀

SadieHH · 14/02/2018 18:43

I’m married to my valentine card giving co-worker so bear that in mind... 😏

Original poster
Citizenoftheworld34 · 14/02/2018 20:14

Smile awwww, this Valentine's turned out better than I had expected.

He brought me some baked goodies to share with my kids and told me the card made his day. Now in a meeting and gave me his chair haha sitting close now Smile

No romance, but a feeling good day. Divorce was hard and I am on AD 2.5 years after, so days like today are sometimes sad. Score!

OP posts:
greenharp · 14/02/2018 20:20

Ooo yay he returned the gesture! This is a heart warming thread!