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Original poster

Boyfriend and his psychics

38 replies

catbasilio · 13/02/2018 09:47

It has become evident lately that my boyfriend of 1.5 years is regularly calling psychics. We both divorced with DC, live separately but he stays over a lot. He says he’s using psychics as his ex wife is involved in a cult and this is his way to protect his DC for which he is fighting the access in courts. He calls psychics mostly overseas and spends hours chatting to them, from what I heard it’s more of emotional comforting but he says they predict what will happen next in his court battle Hmm

I frankly call it BS and am pretty disappointed that an adult man, a high earner and otherwise loving and caring partner can fall for such.

According to him his DC and other people involved in the court are affected by his ex ‘dark forces’ and need to be rescued.

I also feel a bit threatened that he spends hours of what looks like emotional comfort and perhaps is emotionally attached to them (there are several, but he has the main ones too). He says I am in my bubble and I don’t understand.

I have no idea how to react. Just feeling disappointment and a bit scared of his blindness. Do I leave it be, there seems nothing much I can say to convince him otherwise...

Or anyone will come forward to say that there are dark forces and psychics can actually be of a use? Hmm

OP posts:
Heartbrokengirl14 · 13/02/2018 10:01

Could be be having some sort of break down?

AFistfulOfDolores · 13/02/2018 10:04

A reliance on psychics is really a refusal to grow up and accept responsibility for an often painful predicament. If he can't stop and get help, then you'll be the one doing the emotional and psychological heavy-lifting in the future (if it hasn't happened already).

Youaremysunshine2017 · 13/02/2018 10:08

This sounds quite odd. I know many people who go to spiritualist churches or visit mediums but it is more to do with themselves rather than finding information out about other people.

Why is he using psychics overseas? What makes him think his ex is involved in a cult? Wouldn't it be more sensible to seek advice from the police if he feels his children are in danger?

I can see why you'd be worried.

LanaKanesTerfyVagina · 13/02/2018 10:17

According to him his DC and other people involved in the court are affected by his ex ‘dark forces’ and need to be rescued

^^^
This is v worrying imo.
I'm sorry but it's a very unhealthy mind that thinks these sort of things.

Why did he split with the ex?
Why does he think they are being influenced by "dark forces"?

Because either he really believes that.... in which case he needs serious psychiatric help.

Or he's a controlling weirdo.

pollythedolly · 13/02/2018 10:17

How much is this costing him?! Hope it's not from your landline Confused

LanaKanesTerfyVagina · 13/02/2018 10:20

Oh and I say this because when my sister spiralled into her paranoid schizophrenia she started to believe some very bizarre stuff.

It's quite common to think things/people are plotting against you, or persecuting you.

I

Luckingfovely · 13/02/2018 10:23

It absolutely doesn't sound like the actions of someone normal, stable and grounded. I would be very concerned about a relationship with someone doing this.

It's definitely physics and not sex lines.....?

Offred · 13/02/2018 10:26

Agree with Lana...

Either he is ill or his is a nasty man...

Either way, this is not a good man to continue investing in.

LanaKanesTerfyVagina · 13/02/2018 10:31

It's definitely physics and not sex lines.....?

See this was my first thought, but even if it was.....claiming your children are being influenced by the dark forces of his ex is just fucked up in the extreme.

Bitsandbobsalot · 13/02/2018 10:34

I feel bad for him. He’s desperate for some sort of hope and is clinging to these con artists for it.
My “friend” was a tarot reader/medium and it turned her into a nervous wreck doing her cards every day. Then she tried to make a living out of it too. It was obviously bollocks but clearly she was desperate for hope/insight/cash. I’m not even sure tbh.

He has probably been really sucked in by these people who are more than likely telling him a bit of what he wants to hear and enough to keep him scared to keep him calling. It’s awful but I have no idea how you’d get though to him as he sounds very set on this idea is probably paranoid and god knows how much cash he’s spent.
My first thought is he needs to see a doctor.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 13/02/2018 10:35

Really? Bloody run. Be interested to hear his ex's side.

Snowydaysarehere · 13/02/2018 10:36

Snowy the sykick here I I predict your relationship has no future!

Offred · 13/02/2018 10:42

I’d be worried about his kids TBH.

I have a friend who believes in psychics and visits one on a semi-regular basis... She’s not mentally ill, just poor, has a difficult life and wants to feel she has some control over lots of difficult things.

The belief that his ex is influencing the court with her ‘dark forces’ IMO is nowt to do with the psychics and everything to do with him. Psychics work by telling you what they think you want to hear.

The only way this ‘dark forces’ stuff would be a thing from the psychics is if it was in his brain to start with IMO.

Offred · 13/02/2018 10:43

I would give serious consideration to how you might be able to protect his kids, whether that is expressing your concerns to his GP, to his ex or to SC/CAFCASS....

Offred · 13/02/2018 10:50

When I say to my friend that I think psychics are bullshit she laughs and says ‘I know, that’s why I’m telling you what she said’ it is worrying that he dismissed you.

I went with her once... and it was bullshit... the psychic told me I should get back with my husband because he loved me... he absolutely despises me and there is no way on earth I would ever want to get back with him even if he did love me because the relationship was a heap of shit!

She spent a lot of time telling me off for not being clearer in answering her questions which struck me as a handy way of avoiding being wrong.

But I reckon 90% of people who went to a psychic after a recent separation would want to hear that their x loved them and you should get back together given that most are going there for comfort... it is not surprising at all that knowing I was separated she said that to me.

Offred · 13/02/2018 10:51

He wants to hear that his ex is full of dark forces that she is using to manipulate the court.... That’s why the psychics are telling him that and why he is believing it.

MarthaArthur · 13/02/2018 10:55

My 1st thought was paranoid schitzophrenia. Maybe have a chat with your gp? I dont know what the answer is. Sorry you are in this position.

Original poster
catbasilio · 13/02/2018 10:56

No it is not sex lines (I overheard a part of convo - sounded like chatting to a friend).

Yes he’s desperate to see his DC more, and is reduced to the point of tears when talking about them.

On the other hand, there is an element of grieving broken down marriage (4 years ago), frustration, negative emotions and so on.

When we are together and don’t talk about his past / ex / DC he is most loving, caring, helpful and fun to be around. As soon as I ask I get a bucket of his offload he doesn’t blame her, he blames her spiritual movement, and how they plotting against him. I’ve seen her side of story in the court papers. She sounds sane. He says she is making up some stuff to alienate his DC (happens but not sure if this is the case). I think that his emotions due to not seeing his DC have completely blinded him. That’s the only reason I can justify him turning to psychics for emotional comfort, but even so... that’s all wrong in my mind.

OP posts:
MarthaArthur · 13/02/2018 11:02

The reason i thought paranoid schitzophrenia is because my friends developed after a very stressful time. Could his relationship breakup have caused it maybe? Or maybe he is just confused ad not wanting to face reality.

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 13/02/2018 11:03

That sounds incredibly worrying...his children need protecting from his ex's dark forces? That hints at paranoia and poor mental health.

I once suffered from regular psychosis, it was a terrifying time. During the build up to an episode I would begin to have very fixated ideas and idealise certain people or things and become very paranoid that people close to me were trying to harm me or the government was going to kill me. Sounds mad I know, thank god that time in my life is over, but I do worry that your partner is suffering from some sort of mental illness.

Guiltypleasures001 · 13/02/2018 11:11

If you have seen the court papers and the ex seems sane
Then maybe he is the threat to the kids and her, maybe you should
Re assess your relationship with him, he's not coming across well op

Offred · 13/02/2018 11:17

It doesn’t have to be paranoid schizophrenia... Some people are vulnerable to periods of psychosis when they are depressed/going through a very difficult time.

I really don’t think the psychics are the main problem. It is his paranoid delusions... they are being confirmed by the psychics but the psychics, IMO, haven’t created them.

Original poster
catbasilio · 13/02/2018 11:20

Just to assure that he is not a threat to his DC by any means, and there is no danger involved. His DC love him, however there have been situations where the hurtful marriage breakdown has been brought up by him to his DC and it wasn’t appropriate or necessary. He’s deeply hurt by his divorce. I don’t know, maybe rather than blaming people it was easier to blame the dark forces instead?

Now as I think of it, I do have a friend who thought for a long time that the government conspired against him... eventually he started antidepressants (or similar) and is much better.

OP posts:
MarthaArthur · 13/02/2018 11:22

wellfuckme i hope you are better now that sounds so scary.
offred thats true i didnt think of that i was just going by my friends experience and the fact it tends to be high earners in stressful jobs that develop it the most. Whatever it is its not normal or healthy. Op are you financially able to leave if needed?

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 13/02/2018 11:24

@MarthaArthur I am much better now, thank you. I have to take medication but I am so relieved that I no longer have psychotic episodes. They are really terrifying for me and everyone around me.