Boyfriend and his psychics

[catbasilio]

It has become evident lately that my boyfriend of 1.5 years is regularly calling psychics. We both divorced with DC, live separately but he stays over a lot. He says he’s using psychics as his ex wife is involved in a cult and this is his way to protect his DC for which he is fighting the access in courts. He calls psychics mostly overseas and spends hours chatting to them, from what I heard it’s more of emotional comforting but he says they predict what will happen next in his court battle

I frankly call it BS and am pretty disappointed that an adult man, a high earner and otherwise loving and caring partner can fall for such.

According to him his DC and other people involved in the court are affected by his ex ‘dark forces’ and need to be rescued.

I also feel a bit threatened that he spends hours of what looks like emotional comfort and perhaps is emotionally attached to them (there are several, but he has the main ones too). He says I am in my bubble and I don’t understand.

I have no idea how to react. Just feeling disappointment and a bit scared of his blindness. Do I leave it be, there seems nothing much I can say to convince him otherwise...

Or anyone will come forward to say that there are dark forces and psychics can actually be of a use?

I'm quite interested in just why he would think that 'dark forces' would be involved...why not just the courts and conventional methods? Why does he imagine it would mean 'dark forces' if the courts have clearly outlined certain measures to be taken with the children?

Is his ex flakey wrt contact and he believes these forces are what's at work rather than blaming her? Psychics will go along with whatever they are fed by the person calling, so they will be reinforcing his beliefs at every turn...has he tried not calling psychics, and seeing what happens? How exactly does it help him even if they do 'predict' what happens in the court cases - he can't go against the court and what they decide, even if he knows what it will be!

Sorry to go on. I'm fascinated by the mental processes at work here...

Cat - I think it would be woefully inadequate for you to feel that you were qualified to make that assessment TBF.

I also find it a bit that you say he isn’t a danger but that he has already affected them negatively with his inappropriate behaviour.

He may not actively want to harm or hurt them, but that doesn’t mean he won’t.

Zaphod - I imagine it is probably because he feels the court is agreeing with his ex.

And that makes it really worrying because not only is he showing signs of paranoia and delusions he is indicating that he doesn’t hold any respect for the court.

No respect for ex either and not really any respect for the DC needs...

Worrying, worrying, worrying...

And four years later to be in such a mess? Another worrying sign...

Well he complies with the court, so can’t say there is disrespect. Hi said knowing what’s going to happen helps him to prepare for the worst. I pointed out to him that everyone knows the saying ‘expect the best and prepare for the worst’ and you don’t need a psychic for this.

His dark force belief is not brought up to the surface so to speak, so no one is directly affected... we don’t speak about it much either, as I made my view clear..

Compliance isn’t the same as respect.

It doesn’t matter how often he talks about his paranoid delusion re his ex. It matters that he has paranoid delusions re his ex and the court, that he has already behaved inappropriately with his children because of his feelings and that if he really believes the courts are under the influence of dark forces then he really is not likely to keep complying, especially if things don’t go the way he wants.

He needs to be thinking about what is best for his DC. He sounds unable to do that, and his MH is a problem, especially if he hasn’t been upfront about his ‘dark forces’ beliefs with the court, his ex and his GP.

How is this going to end up for his DC?

Wouldn’t you want to know he had at least been assessed and the court was aware if it were your ex and the father of your DC?

People not knowing about it doesn’t mean no-one is affected

Genuine question here:

"Today 10:17 LanaKanesTerfyVagina

According to him his DC and other people involved in the court are affected by his ex ‘dark forces’ and need to be rescued

^
This is v worrying imo.
I'm sorry but it's a very unhealthy mind that thinks these sort of things.

Why did he split with the ex?
Why does he think they are being influenced by "dark forces"?

Because either he really believes that.... in which case he needs serious psychiatric help.

Or he's a controlling weirdo."

How is this any different to him believing that events are influenced by god and communicating with priests?

Replace psychics and dark forces with god and church, and I wonder why one is seen as normal and the other isn't?

I think psychics are complete bullshit btw this isn't pro psychic stuff: and I'm as atheist as they come too. Just find it odd how people who believe in spiritual stuff like clairvoyants are seen as mentally unwell when people who believe in god aren't.

In my view if someone believes it and get something from it then that's down to them and no more of a sign of being mentally unwell than being religious.

I reckon he uses them for emotional support too.

Because this is a situational persecutory delusion with a clear trigger point - his feelings about the breakdown of his marriage and it includes secrecy, resistance to challenge and some odd behaviour linked to the specific belief which is having a negative effect on his life.

A belief system may be founded on things that are intangible and that others might consider to be delusional in the general sense of the word but this is not a belief system, it’s a specific situational paranoia.

Did he for example spend a lot of time calling psychics before his marriage broke down? Did he even believe in psychics prior to that? Does he attend a spiritualist church and has he done that for a long time? Did he believe his wife was influencing his kids with dark forces prior to the relationship ending? What has caused him to believe that now?

IMO it is FAR more likely he is suffering from an extreme stress reaction due to the breakdown of his marriage and this has caused him to break with reality. I can’t say though because this is the internet.

He needs to be assessed by someone who is actually with him in real life and who has the qualifications to be able to assess him. It would be very bad for everyone (including him but mainly his DC) to just say ‘ah he is ok really’ and leave him to it.