Going Out?

[batey]

Just wondering,how much "real" time do you guys get off on your own or with dh's. We do a babysit swap with friends so, all being well, we go out together every other month. I go on a girl's drink (fairly tame, but nice all the same) once a week. Dh goes to local most nights, I don't mind as he works at home and needs some other company than just us. Are we (am I) a couple of saddo's? Dds are 2 and 4 1/2.

We go out about once a month as one of our neighbours is very keen to babysit and dd adores her. We do most of our going out when we are staying with parents as they are really keen to look after the kids. I sometimes (maybe about once a month) go out with the girls, dh doesnt go out as often as he is on call every second night. He's also more of a homebird than me and would rather potter round the house
We make sure we have a night to ourselves inthe house once a week - us ally on Friday night. We put the kids to bed, then have a nice meal and a bottle of wine and dont watch the telly, just have a chat and sit in front of the fire.
Mot o our socialising is spending time with friends - thay come to us or we go to them and our kids a really good about going down to sleep in other peoples houses and then getting lifted up to go home and they go back to sleep straight away.
So if u are a saddo I am too - but I console myself with the fact I am in my 30's now so would probably be a saddo anyway!!

I must be a major saddo, it is usually too much effort to arrange a babysitter so I prefer to stay in. DH goes out 2 or 3 times a week to a local with friends, I have a girls night in approximately every 3 months (pizza, wine and chat). We probably don't go out as a couple more than 2 or 3 times a year but we do spend lots of time at home together. We are actually going out on Saturday to a wedding reception though - the first time since christmas! To be honest, rowdy pubs do nothing for me these days, you get pushed around, can't hear each other talking and spend far too much money, I'd much rather have good food and good conversation. (DH says that I am 35 going on 60!)

Batey
I wish i got to go out as often as you.About once a month Dh and I go out with my B, SIL and 2 cousins we all have babies who stay with their grandparents and we all go out together which is lovely.We have been called the young parents club and are planning to go on holiday together next year.

The "dates" in the kitchen sound good, might try that. Closest we get to that is a take-away curry!

We have quite a few evenings each week where we just sit, with a bottle (or two!) and chat; no t.v and kids in bed. Its the closest we get to going out these days. D.H travels a fair bit with work and we live far away from our families, so family babysitters are not a possibility.

To be honest, it all seems a bit too much effort these days and we certainly haven't been anywhere as a couple since ds2 was born , almost 9 months ago. I have found that in the past, if we had arranged a babysitter, I tended to build the whole evening up so much that the actual event became a bit of an anticlimax! Good on you, though, to all those parents who have the energy to go out either with d.h. or mates. I'm just a boring old fart

We are part of a babysitting circle, and decided at Xmas to make more of an effort to get out, maybe once a month (before the kids we were out at least 3 nights a week). We have failed dismally. I think we've just got out of the habit of going out (plus the fact that we're just too knackered a lot of the time). We are definitely sad. We must try harder.

In a couple of weeks time we are going away for the night without the children for the first time in 2.5 years - MIL is coming to look after them (brave woman). We are going to a wedding in Oxford, and dh volunteered for the task (as an ex-Oxford man) of booking our accommodation. Foolishly I agreed. So, did he book us into a nice hotel with a comfy double bed for a night of child-free passion followed by a long lie-in with the Sunday papers and breakfast in bed? No, we're staying in a student room in his old college.
The man is obviously not as desperate as he claims to be .

Azzie, that is sickening...

We rarely seem to get out together (we were having a discussion about it only last night). It just seems to have got worse. We alwys enjoy our time together with the children and we do make time to 'date' in our own house, to sit and chat and enjoy a bottle of wine and a decent meal, we even plan going to bed early with candles,massage oil, strawberries and champagne -occassionally (although this is getting more and more difficult with a teenager!) but we hardly ever ge out together... we simply don't have babysitters... we even go to the cinema on our own!!! Now that is sad

We get out on our own about once every six weeks, we only have his mum to babysit and she is in high demand! We have had friends to look after dd once or twice if there was something we really wanted to watch at the cinema, but we knew they didn't really want to do it, and I was paranoid that she would wake up that one time - Murphy's Law!
So one of us usually goes out on our own at the weekend, or we will take it in turns. He also goes out on Wednesday to play squash and then have a couple of pints afterwards. But most Sundays we get a bottle of wine and a video and have that day to ourselves.

We usually go out once a week, for a meal or drink or to friends, DH is usually away on business at least two nights a week so I make an effort to get out on my own at least once a week but it's hardly wild - book club or a committee/church meeting !! We are very lucky in that we have an excellent babysitter, and can afford it. We also 'do our own thing' some time over the weekend to have a bit of space (me!) and for DH to do something on his own with our DS - sometimes I think one partner can miss out on this.

Just to say dh and I are off out tonight, having said we go out every other month, this is the first time since Xmas. due to bugs on our/b.sitters behalf and dh being away etc. Wish me luck dds don't wake as it'll be me legging it home!

O.K. now I feel like the neglectful mother. Dh and I have just come back from 6 days in Ireland at a wedding, leaving the 8mo dd with her ever doting (but now somewhat exhausted) grandparents. We felt like a pair of teenagers let loose on a school trip, even managing to sneak upstairs for a bit of mid-reception nookie. No, I did not miss her - until the last day at least, and the trip did wonders for the state of our marriage.

Aahh,8mo, remember it well. The clingy stages havn't kicked in yet?! Make the most of it, mind you I'm dead jealous too! Would love to have reliable/available grandparents to leave my dds with. Mine are too sick and dhs are on the other side of the world.

Ah yes, the clingy stage...it has just kicked in. Suddenly Mummy deserves lots of cuddles, especially if she wants to leave the room. And putting ds into the cot is like prizing a limpet off a rock!

It's absolutely lovely isn't it...I will regret him growing out of it. I am dreading the day when he says 'Get off Mummy, you're embarrassing me'. The only major drawback is night time, when he hates being put to bed alone. He is getting better though, and I am even getting him to have naps in his cot now, which was impossible a couple of months ago.

Anyway, about going out...dh and I have been out alone 5 times in a year, because we only have my parents available to babysit. Mum had ds yesterday afternoon, which allowed me to have the pm to bake his first birthday cake (my baby is one on Saturday - sob). I have a lovely time, if not very relaxing.

I also go out every couple of weeks with my sister, and we have a meal, and then go to the pub (where I am ashamed to say I do a bit of Karaoke, and thoroughly enjoy myself). My dh goes for a bike ride with mates every so often, and for a few beers every threeish weeks.

My dh also gets to have wife and baby free snowboarding holidays. Next year, he is going for 10 days, so I don't feel too mean about going out in the evenings more than him. PLUS, he has said I can have two nights away with my sis, and he will look after ds ON HIS OWN!!!! I didn't get it in writing though, which could be a mistake!

Chinchilla, enjoy your two nights away. IMHO it will do both your dh and ds a world of good, not only by encouraging father-baby bonding, but also by ensuring that your dh remembers just what a marvellous job you're doing .

I tend to go out twice a month for a real good rave/booze up. This tends to be an all girly affair (I must apologize to DH now but I do have a better time when I go out with my mates - why is that?).

2 nights out a month tends to do it for me as it takes me at least a week to recover from my adventures. Gone are my days of partying 4 nights a week - shame.

Hardly ever go out but don't really mind except if there is a really good band on. Also would have LOVED to go the Edinburgh Jazz and Blues Festival next month, just about every act was great but in years to come ...

Having said that our youngest (12 weeks) has had quite a good soical life of sorts. we've been to an evening BBQ for the Jubilee, a ceilidh in the next village and a wedding reception.

Generally we have folk round for meals/drinks. We don't miss the pub scene at all. May go for an aternoon drink ocassioanly for a change.

I rarely get to go out without my two...being single Certainly not a regular thing. Occasionally get to go out, to the cinema or pub, but not often.

And its my birthday today...

Happy Birthday jenny2998! Hope you didn't spend it just with the kids and that you had a celebratory drink!

Thanks Fionn...having a celebratory drink (or 3...) as we speak :D I spent the day with family. Nice and quiet, suits me to let it pass unnoticed...

I said to my dh the other day - when was the last time we went out on our own? - the answer was 3 months ago for my birthday in April!. So have asked friend from ante-natal group to b/sit ds on Friday evening and i will do it for her in return. Now just have to think of somewhere nice to go that's not too expensive (as permanently broke!).

Even though my parents are local and look after ds on Wed every week (back at work) they go out quite a lot and feel bad asking them all the time but also it is difficult to ask other friends with babies as we haven't really got into that yet. Feel like need special occasion in order to ask rather than just wanting to go out. Maybe we need to start up a rota or points thing or something. Has anyone else done this with their friends where you all take it in turn to b/sit??

Manfwood, we have a tokens system. We all started with 10 hours, then if you babysit for someone you get tokens for however many hours it was. Our agreement was that it was the Mums who sit (because most of the children are small and don't really know the Dads)and no-one stays out after 11 without clearing it before hand (that way no-one is offended if you say no). Also, no-one should hold more than about 15 hours - this means that you are forced to go out after a while (a good thing!) and there is nearly always someone who is looking for some sitting to get their token amount up. Works for us.

Dh and I are going out for a meal tonight, then MIL is coming to look after the kids this weekend while we go to a friend's wedding and have a night off.

We're no longer used to so much social activity - I think by Monday we'll need a rest!

DH and I have been out together 4 times this year - once in Feb, twice in May and once in June. But twice with friends and once to a family wedding so only once actually alone together (our wedding anniversary). Two more weddings and an evening with friends booked over the next few months .... but I want DH to myself! A nice romantic meal just the two of us. Looks like a Chinese in the dining room I think! Rarely get take-aways and usually eat in the kitchen so it would be a treat.

I haven't added to this thread since my situation seems to be unusual here but because I'm separated from DH, DP and I get every other weekend alone...

ds has a great time being allowed to eat chocolate and see his dad and we get to go out. Mind you we often go out because we feel we ought to since we've got the chance without having to get a sitter but it is nice. Not that I'd recommend leaving your partner for this reason but it is one of the few benefits of being separated

my DH doesnt go out as he doesnt like to drink, also he hasnt got the time. i would like to out in the night more often but im not able to. we never go out together. which is a shame