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Dating man who's still on dating sites...

60 replies

notenoughbottletonight · 13/02/2018 00:04

So I've had four 24 hour dates with a bloke who's a year older than me, 33. Haven't slept together every time, only the last one but generally just stayed up talking, kissing etc. I know it's very early days as it's only been four times BUT he's been on POF tonight, constantly. He ignores my texts for hours on what's app despite saying that he would never ignore me 🙄 When he does reply the conversation can often be quite one sided, and he'll often come on and off the app without replying to me. Apart from when we might spend an hour making innuendos/sexting in the evening at which point his replies are constant.., Stupid thing here but I added him on FB and told him and he still didn't confirm. He's told me tonight he likes me and wants to spend time with me as I've made it clear I'm not just in it for the sex. The few times I've met him I've had a really good vibe and even declared to my friends after the third time that I had a good feeling about this one. we've gone out in public for meals etc and he even offered to come and watch the new fifty shades with me. We seem to get on really well. He does seem a bit young and still lives with his parents, has no kids whereas I have three. I've asked him round a few times and he always says he'll see.

So am I expecting too much given it's early days? I asked him outright earlier if he was seeing anyone else and he said no but 🙄 Or am I wasting my time with him? He asked to take me out on valentines (cringe) which I've agreed to but he does seem to struggle to come up with ideas and I've had to decide nigh on every time.

So do I just bunk him off now or go on this valentines date? Or am I just being a bit too precious?!

OP posts:
Dancingfairy · 13/02/2018 10:38

I don't have it in for anyone but op is being a hypocrite. She's annoyed this man was on a dating to for hours, yet must have kept checking to see if he was still on, so maybe he noticed she was as well. Then seems to want some big commitment after 4 dates and doesnt like that he is keeping his options open yet it turns out she is doing the same.

Masterbuilders · 13/02/2018 10:44

Dancingfairy, it really doesn’t read like that. For whatever reason you don’t agree with the op or whatever. Your posts are literally constantly nit picking at her and she’s not going to win either way as far as you’re concerned. I’m not sure why you’re behaving like that but you are. It’s certainly how it reads.

lucylouuu · 13/02/2018 11:00

do you mean he's " online " on POF as in constantly active on the app rather than being annoyed he still has an account? because I too wouldn't feel great about that. he sounds too much hassle

hewie · 13/02/2018 11:00

Dancingfairy: True love. That moment when you meet someone and know he’s the one for you! You may not have experienced it. Not everyone has, however after 4 dates and getting bad vibes then yes as I said: it’s not true love.

dirtybadger · 13/02/2018 11:01

In the future definitely dont add people on social media until youre serious. Way too much information can be gathered from that if it turns out theyre a weirdo! If someone tried to add me on FB after a few dates I'd be running a mile (whether or not I slept with them- Im not sure how thats relevant).
Keep at it, but ditch this dude.

Tinkerbellx · 13/02/2018 11:21

So sorry OP but he's just not that into you .
If he ignores your texts for hours on end that's a not good .
I met dp online and we were both certainly still online after 4 dates ! We talked a lot though and when it felt right both agreed to come off and be exclusive ( for us it was when we were sleeping together but both a bit old fashioned and happy with that ).
You'll not have these uneasy feelings with the right guy .
I used all the rules on the online dating thread on here .... rarely contributed but absolutely Fabius is read with loads of great advice ..... esp loved the toilet text updates mid date ! The rules are a bit of fun but actually brilliant !
Your the prize so enjoy and I'm sorry this ones not working out .

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 13/02/2018 19:09

@dancingfairy the op wasnt saying she wanted a big commitment but an opinion on whether she was wasting her time or not.

A guy who is really into someone doesn't behave in the way she described. Maybe you think differently and you think it's acceptable (at the very start of the dating process when everything is exciting) to be ignored for hours , going to check on POF and to also pointedly ignore a friend request after you have been intimate , but I think most people read these actions (collectively) and come to the same conclusion which is dont bother wasting anymore time.

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 13/02/2018 19:14

@dirtybadger you'd let someone enter your body but you wouldn't add them on social media Confused

For me (when I was old) standard process was to add them first to check them out and validate they aren't a cat fish , serial dater , already married . It's sensible to do so imo especially with OLD.

Skarossinkplunger · 14/02/2018 08:15

I didn’t close my OLD profiles until I was in an exclusive relationship.

You sound massively needy expecting him to be texting you constantly and adding him on FB and sulking because he won’t confirm.

Tablesturned · 14/02/2018 08:17

I would say he is not interested or just sees you as a casual thing. Are you seeing him this evening?

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