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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He called me his ex girlfriends name!? Advice please ladies!

42 replies

peaky297 · 12/02/2018 20:01

The other night, having had quite a few drinks, my boyfriend called to me to ask me something, adding his ex girlfriends name to the end of the question instead of mine. When I asked him about it he apologised and said he felt mortified as soon as the word came out of his mouth. He also promised me that he harbours no feelings for his ex and that he can only think it was said out of an old habit. I accepted this as I didn’t want to punish him for a mistake. We have only been together for just over a year and he was with his ex for 9 years, so I’ve always felt a little bit uncomfortable with regards to her. I dearly love my other half and he has never given me any reason to think that he feels any differently. He tells me he loves me everyday and is nothing but caring and attentive, so why do I feel so hurt and anxious over this? Is this a common thing to happen? I just want to feel the way I did before he said it. Advice please!

OP posts:
Loz604 · 12/02/2018 21:59

I would feel overly sensitive about it to but know that I would be being unreasonable. I’ve been with my DP 4 years and for the first 2 year when talking to my friends about him I occasionally slipped up and used my ex’s name. Made me feel horrendous as there was no feelings there just habit... and I love my DP to bits.

I wouldn’t read much into it but know as a woman that is hard 😂 unless he gives you reason not to trust him... a slip up of a name is harmless xx

Desmondo2016 · 12/02/2018 22:02

I've done it to my lovely husband and believe me my ex is fucking horrid!

Lucymek · 12/02/2018 22:09

I called my bf my dogs name today.

And then I called my dog my bfs name a few hours later.

Shit happens. Don't worry about it.

Karigan1 · 12/02/2018 22:10

Yeah I’ve done that too lol

Ariela · 12/02/2018 22:21

I call my daughter/the dog/the horse whichever name comes to mind first - they all know who I mean!

Yvonne1958 · 12/02/2018 23:32

On my first visit to my PILs my DH said don’t get upset if SFIL calls you xxx, ex wife’s name, DH’s ex. SFIL was very forgetful (early Alzheimer’s) the only person who called me xxx for almost the whole weekend was my DH! First time he did my MIL looked at me and I just shrugged my shoulders. Slip ups happen.

trappedinsuburbia · 12/02/2018 23:37

I don't even get the kids names right !

Graphista · 12/02/2018 23:38

Curse him and turn his thingy green Grin

No honestly, as pps I can understand why it threw you but happens all the time. An ex fiancé called me his ex's name once during an argument, just made us both burst out laughing.

When dd first started school she was forever calling me miss Grin and raising her hand to ask to go to the loo wee soul

dirtybadger · 12/02/2018 23:40

Just an accident.

P.s. a smart trick is to only date people with the same name. Stick to a common one to get the biggest pool to choose from. Wink

Graphista · 12/02/2018 23:41

trappedinsuburbia

Running joke in the family that my sister (youngest) thinks her name is

Graphistabrosnamesistersname Grin

My poor uncle had it worst he's the youngest of 7! Flipping speech happened before his name was shouted! GrinGrin

dirtybadger · 12/02/2018 23:41

I get called my mums dead dogs name a lot. Hes been dead about 5 years now. I still prefer it to being called my dads name. Angry

Loz604 · 12/02/2018 23:43

Slightly off subject- but when I was in a younger relationship my ex left me for a girl with the same name. When he came to break up with me properly he mixed up the fact that I was studying for a degree and the other was doing her GCSEs 😂 I got mad at him and laughed at the whole fiasco- never spoke to him again.

greenlanes · 12/02/2018 23:49

I always call the cat and the child by each other's names. Both begin with the same initial. The cat ignores me (so whats new) and the child groans, not again (because I do it quite a lot!)

Sparkles1992 · 13/02/2018 00:39

When I met my boyfriend, I was constantly worried about calling him my exs name, I never did but my nan did and he wasn't bothered Smile I don't think I would mind, it's an easy mistake to make but I prob would have been taken back slightly

Celebelly · 13/02/2018 01:04

The first Xmas with my current partner some five years ago, I wrote my ex-boyfriend's name on all the gift labels for presents we were giving to others. Six years of muscle memory just took over! I was mortified but thankfully he just thought it was funny.

hellsbellsmelons · 13/02/2018 09:14

I've done it too.
Even occasionally referring to my ExH name and we split 9 years ago!
It's just a slip of the tongue and I certainly don't have any feelings for him.
It means nothing. Honest!

Chienrouge · 13/02/2018 09:18

I called DH my ex’s name very recently, although luckily when talking about him to someone else. DH and I have been married 6 years and together for 9!

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