Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He called me his ex girlfriends name!? Advice please ladies!

42 replies

peaky297 · 12/02/2018 20:01

The other night, having had quite a few drinks, my boyfriend called to me to ask me something, adding his ex girlfriends name to the end of the question instead of mine. When I asked him about it he apologised and said he felt mortified as soon as the word came out of his mouth. He also promised me that he harbours no feelings for his ex and that he can only think it was said out of an old habit. I accepted this as I didn’t want to punish him for a mistake. We have only been together for just over a year and he was with his ex for 9 years, so I’ve always felt a little bit uncomfortable with regards to her. I dearly love my other half and he has never given me any reason to think that he feels any differently. He tells me he loves me everyday and is nothing but caring and attentive, so why do I feel so hurt and anxious over this? Is this a common thing to happen? I just want to feel the way I did before he said it. Advice please!

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 12/02/2018 20:03

How old are you?!

Yeaididthat · 12/02/2018 20:03

It was an accident, these things happen. Nothing to worry about, it means nothing, just an old habbit.

Autumnchill · 12/02/2018 20:05

I call my assistant at work by my husbands name at least once a week! It happens. You're reading too much into it.

Thingsdogetbetter · 12/02/2018 20:08

My dh often works away during the week with his mate Tony. I get called Tony a LOT duuring those weekends. Lol

Doobedoobedoobedoobedoobe · 12/02/2018 20:09

It's an accident imo. Like calling a teacher Mum or calling your kids by the other kids name. Lots of people get confused sometimes and use the wrong name. If they were together 9years it's not someone who was around fleetingly and whose name he can just erase from his brain. I wouldn't read anything into it.

Ginorchoc · 12/02/2018 20:10

I keep calling daughter by the dogs name and our dog by my daughters name, she has given up being offended and just accepts it now.

KarmaStar · 12/02/2018 20:11

A mere slip of the tongue,OP you must have done it,we all have!forget it and enjoy your relationship.If you keep on about it you will come across as needy and insecure.......not attractive!

Greensleeves · 12/02/2018 20:12

Cut his bollocks off and use them for earrings.

No, seriously, it's just a brain fart and very easily done. I would be pissed off enough that he wouldn't do it again though!

FayJay · 12/02/2018 20:14

It’s a slip of the tongue. It’s meaningless. I was having an argument with my brother once. I accidentally called him by my ex’s name (I guess because that’s who I was used to arguing with). And I call my DDs by each other’s names all the time.

Making a huge deal out of this makes you look immature.

Badwifey · 12/02/2018 20:14

Ah slip of the tongue. Don't let it get to you or it will consume you! I'm with Dh 9 years and have almost called him by my ex bfs name once or twice. I was only with ex for 10 months! I don't know why it happens. I have absolutely no feelings whatsoever for my ex!

LittleFeileFooFoo · 12/02/2018 20:15

An accident, I've done the same type of thing, called my dh my db name! Urgh!

Op if it means anything,it means you are moving into the default position but there's some residual brain memory in the way.
My dm could never call any of us kids by the right name...

NSEA · 12/02/2018 20:17

Oh I do this all the time and have been with my dh 10 years - a lot longer than I ever was with my ex. It’s strange because I am not even thinkig of him, its like its a hanit i never fully broke!? I don’t know.

Either way don’t hold it against him and certainly don’t feel insecure about it. 9 years is long enough to soend with someone to know whether it will work out or not.

NotSoSprightly · 12/02/2018 20:17

So easily done, nothing to worry about OP.

I have done it before and also called friends exes' names as well and vice versa.

PurpleDaisies · 12/02/2018 20:18

I called my work colleague my husband’s name the other day. I was pretty mortified but it happens.

It’s not like it was while you were having sex.

Dancingfairy · 12/02/2018 20:18

None of my partners ever called me by their exes name so I would be shocked if they did.
I can see why it bothers you and I don't think it's like mixing your kids names up as we constantly say our kids names whereas he hasn't been with his ex for over a year.

LizzieSiddal · 12/02/2018 20:19

I’ve done that several times to Dh, all within the first few years of our marriage.

Thankfully he’s a grown up and just laughed.

LizzieSiddal · 12/02/2018 20:22

My dad did this to my stepmum, 20 years into their marriage.

About 5 years later my darling dad was dying from cancer. He told me my mum was not to go to the funeral, that she’d caused him a lot of unhappiness and that he’d had nightmares about her, for many years.

This proves that just because you accidentally say someone’s name, doesn’t mean you like them!!

CoverMeLads · 12/02/2018 20:33

Oh God, I do this. Quite a few times within the last 3 long term relationships I’ve had (so for over 25 years) and it’s always the previous partner not any specific one. I should probably start dating people with polysyllabic names....Wink

It means ZERO.

Bumbumtaloo · 12/02/2018 20:38

My DH has called me by his ex wife’s name more than once, and I know he really dislikes her!

I have also called him by a really old ex’s name, and it’s literally a slip of the tongue. We split 20yrs ago.

inlectorecumbit · 12/02/2018 20:38

I call DH by the Ddogs name frequently and they are not at all similar in appearance or the sound of the name ( DDog is much better looking) Grin

Tiredmum100 · 12/02/2018 20:48

I could have written your exact post about 8/9 years ago, my now dh did the same. It was simply a slip of the tongue. I didn't see that at the time I was really pissed off (and he did it twice). Still over that now and happily married for nearly 7 years.

SavageBeauty73 · 12/02/2018 20:50

I've done it. And we were in bed at the time!

offside · 12/02/2018 21:12

Accident! When I was with my ex I spent so much time with him that I would end up calling my brother the pet name I had for my ex! It’s just a habit and nothing more.

RavenLG · 12/02/2018 21:38

I remember calling my teacher 'Mum' once.. mortifying.
It was a mistake. Just let it go :)

Original poster
peaky297 · 12/02/2018 21:53

Thank you to all who has taken the time to reply. I knew deep down I was being over sensitive (as is in my nature unfortunately) but your replies have really helped to reassure me and I feel much calmer about the whole thing now 👍🏽

OP posts: