Sex pest husband

[cambodiaarrest]

My DH is a sex pest.
There's no intimacy in our relationship - I would love there to be. By that, I mean loving intimacy like cuddles and affection.
He gropes me and wants to talk about sex in front of the kids. (9, 7 & 1).
This morning a text msg from him at the gym. (Yep he's at the gym (pissing about in Costa first) while I'm sat at home running round after the kids.)
DH: What shall we do today?
Me: The weather looks alright, we could have a drive out somewhere?
DH: Sounds pretty boring. Put your knee length boots on to add some excitement

Then a conversation follows about how I'm a damp flannel and how it is so demoralising being with me.
I actually think it is so demoralising being with him. Every interaction is a sexual innuendo - any clothing I do or do not wear is commented on. If I'm changing & he walks in I'm waiting for my arse to be grabbed. If I put a pair of heels on there's an OTT remark.
If I don't respond (sometimes I do) I'm a damp flannel.
We've talked it over & over.
We love each other very much but this is our stumbling block.
We are such the cliche.

Apologies I just needed a rant.

Your 8 year old is right mommytoboo.

I ask why are you still with this man at all?

Your 8 year old seems to have more awareness of how to behave than you mommytoboo.

What's wrong with what mommytoboo has said/done?

um not sure if we're having a misunderstanding of some sort??
my dh was devastated that my 8 year old had witnessed the snogging and groping (was cuppage of my ass not boob or genitals) not devestated that we were disturbed. We were obviously not aware that 8 year old was in the house but that's a whole other thread involving a shit mother who no longer is allowed to have my ds over.
Also the sexy as fuck comment was whispered in my ear not my 4 yo.
And I like the whole get naked wench talk (obvs not all the time) but if I didn't then dh wouldn't do it.

Not sure if the, why r u with this man, question is for me but, if it is then I'm with my dh because I love him, he loves me and we are both happy
x

We love each other very much but this is our stumbling block.

Some people have a very strange idea of 'love'.

To me, part of loving someone is respecting each other. I don't see any respect for the OP here.

why would you inflict a creepy pervert on your children?
I think this might count as abuse , if he talks like that in front of them.

My DH isn't like this at all so whilst I can't sympathise directly, I do really feel for you living with this. It's not normal and it's not healthy, most importantly, you don't like it.

Changes need to be made, to what degree is down to you, but if you've got a 9 year old and he's been subjecting you too it all this time, I don't think he's going to change now.

Also you say you've talked to him about it a lot, he's not getting it.

Enough is enough, good luck, I hope he can change, but I don't think he will, it seems ingrained in him. Drastic measures are called for. You really do only live once.

What would happen if you told him that you do not like it and that you expect for him to never do it again?

If you have already told him this and he has carried on, then by staying with him you are agreeing with him that your wishes do not matter. You are already teaching your children that his behaviour is OK and normal.

How can tomorrow possibly be different from today if you go round in the same old circles? Grab your self respect and get furious with him. Get terminal. Otherwise you are going to have to put up.

He doesn't sound mature enough for a relationship.
Why should the kids have to listen to a Jay-off- The Inbetweeners manchild going on at their mother all the time?
It's grim.

He sounds disgusting OP. Touching you and commenting in a sexual manner in front of your children is not normal and they will notice, even if you think they don’t.

A man like this will never stop. The behaviour is part of who they are. I’m afraid I would have to call time on the marriage if I were you.