Husband keeps waking me up in the morning

[Anya2012]

My husband has to get to work at 7.30am and he therefore is usually up before me for at least an hour, on some days he goes to the gym ( which is great) but wakes up at 5.30am. I’m currently 15 weeks pregnant and I’ve been really tired most of this pregnancy ( it’s my first) so we both go to bed about 10 pm, but he wakes earlier to leave. Now last two weeks I’ve been getting really horrific migraines and I can’t really take very much.
I think not having enough sleep( I wake up to pee and by his snoring several times per night ) and now every morning he wakes up showers comes back opening and closing doors, sprays deodrant( which is the worst bc of my headache problem and my heightened sense of smell) and then I’m wide awake an hour before I need to get up. But now he’s getting up early at the weekends too so Saturday and Sunday I’m awake at 6.30 am . Is this happening to anyone else ?

If he is this selfish you are going to have problems with him when the baby arrives!

Explain how you feel clearly and firmly now, and stand your ground!!!

My GP said there virtually no iron in spatone and although rapidly absorbed it doesn't work.

Get your iron levels checked.

The snoring he can't help but waking you up when he's getting ready is really inconsiderate so don't feel guilty about letting him sleep in the living room.

Spatone won’t do anything if you are diagnosed anaemic. You need proper iron tablets, taken 2-3 times a day for a period of at least 3-6 months to improve iron levels. I have severe anaemia (unexplained, had a billion tests) and I take ferrous fumerate 210mg 3 times a day. I am under a consultant and they have warned me that High street remedies and supplements won’t do anything for anaemia, they are only good for people with normal iron levels wishing to top up their existing iron stores.

I agree about getting iron from the Dr. Otc iron will not help.

My top top is to drink a small glass if orange juice with the tablets. It helps absorption and you don’t get tummy upsets.

*tip

If he plans the night before there should b no reason to come back into the bedroom at all! Everything in bathroom and get dressed in there!
It's not so difficult _ how old is he, he sounds like a teenager
I remember making DH eat an omelette outside because I couldn't stand the smell when I was pregnant
I hope you can get him to listen to you!

Speak to him rather than the internet?

I recall being hypersensitive to noise and disruption during my first trimester (possibly two) of my pregnancy---a combination of hormones and anxiety. It threw me for a loop because I had always been a very sound sleeper but made me exceptionally ragey towards DH for minor things like getting up before me, occasional snoring, etc.

Honestly I spent a lot of time sleeping in the guest bed for my sanity. By third trimester I was too exhausted to notice any noise whatsoever.

I think he's being really inconsiderate. My dh gets up at 5am for work 4 days out of 7, I work from home so tend to get up about 8. Dh puts everything in the spare room (but would put it in the lounge if we didn't have a spare room) and gets dressed in there including deodorant etc and I'm not even pregnant! He needs to get used to doing this as presumably the baby will be in with you once s/he comes along? What if you've fed them at 4 and just got back to sleep and he wakes you both up?

When he says "fine, I'll sleep on the sofa" let him! He'll soon get fed up of it and start just getting dressed in there hopefully.

HarryElephante you must of missed the OP’s follow up post at 8:35. She’s dpokrn to him many times

*spoken

He sounds charming.

My dh goes outside to spray deodorant because it causes me migraines. I'd tell him to get to fuck if he was purposely doing something he could avoid that caused me migraines.

Why can't he leave his clothes etc in the bathroom and just get dressed once out the shower? Doesn't have to be the lounge.

You have a dh problem rather than a being woken up problem. Such little respect for your needs. Is he considerate in other areas? I guess not.

Re. The migraines, are you drinking enough? I got awful migraines in my 1st pregnancy, and it was because I wasn't getting enough fluids. I started making sure that I was drinking at least 2ltrs a day, and the migraines stopped.

My DH is regularly up at stupid o'clock, and the night before, he puts everything he needs in the bathroom (we do have a large bathroom). I think you're DH is being rather inconsiderate, and his reaction when you bring it up is a bit childish. You should defo call his bluff next time he says that he'll sleep in the lounge. He'll also need to get used to being quieter in the mornings because he won't want to be waking the baby up when s/he arrives!

Don’t feel bad! If you’d rather sleep in the lounge as well then do that dear, but make sure you take your clothes the night before and do not spray deodorant in the bedroom. It’s good practice - if you wake the baby doing this you are going to have to skip the gym / be late to work because you are walking baby up and down for an hour or two while I sleep.
My dh takes his clothes to the lounge every night as he gets up early, so he doesn’t wake me.

My husband works shifts which either mean he's asleep when I get up for work at 6am or he is getting up at 5am. We make sure the night before we take out the things we need from the bedroom so we don't disturb each other. I'm also preggers and he has slept in the living room a few times when finishing work late (2am) so he doesn't disturb me before bed. Your partner is being unreasonable.

I’ve spoken to him and said that’s it once he’s up he needs to leave the room and not come back in, and get changed in the living room, because the last 5 nights including sat and Sunday I’ve been woken up 1-2 hours before I need to. He said he will, but I think I found that’s he’s not that sorry and he doesn’t really get it. The whole first trimester I was so exhausted so he had to start to cook which he has never done before, so in that aspect I thought it was really nice of him. But today I was just like - before I was pregnant I did everything , get the all the shopping in, do all the clothes washing , cook, whilst the only chores he helped with was washing up dishes. I did that out love not obligation , which is what it has felt like.

I just feel disappointed. Anyway at least he’s agreed at the moment to get his stuff sorted the night before and not disturb me.

Give him stick if not. Make it easier for him to do that than face the backlash from you. YANBU so stick to your guns and make sure he is considerate. If he lacks empathy then you need to train him.

He does lack empathy which I think is the most frustrating part. How do you teach that? He has anger outbursts - like ‘ are you just going to be in a mood all day and ruin the day, I’ve already apologised’

You quietly be firm and insist that he is considerate. You emphasise the reasons why it affects you. You tell him that even if it wouldn't bother him, it does bother you and that is all he needs to know. You let him sulk but you stick to your guns and make it so that it's easier to just do it than argue.

If that doesn't work then I'd seriously be considering the future of my relationship. My Dp isn't great on sympathy when me or the kids are ill, but he'll go through the motions because it would be unreasonable for him not to listen to our "hurt" when we bring it up.

I'm not sure you can teach empathy...that would worry me to be honest. How is he going to be when you have your baby and need him to help out a lot more than he is currently? What if you have to have a c-section and need him to be empathetic?

You can't teach empathy but you can train him to react appropriately when you point out he should be empathetic.

He sounds like a dick.
When you need to get up to pee, bang and clatter and turn lights on. If he complains tell him it’s how it is.