TMI - sex question

[ZiggyBarDust]

I posted this initially in AIBU but was told to post it here.

Basically when I have sex it’s alwyas been painful, now more uncomfortable than actual pain but for the last few months I have been getting this really sudden urge to pee during sex and then within a split second I’ve wet the bed. It’s really embarrassing and I don’t actually want to have sex anymore because of it, however, I think my partner is trying to be in the positions when it will happen, even though he then has to finish off with mastrabation as I’m filled with shame, it’s quite intense feelings and it’s wet enough the bed sheets need changing.

I’m really confused about what is happening to me and also about now how he is reacting or seemingly coming across as enjoying it.

I actually do not want to have sex anymore until I know how to stop it or that it won’t happen again, but I’m not sure this is fair on him as he really doesn’t enjoy mastrabation

Do you maybe have a bladder infection op?

Or, perhaps yo u might need to see doc & do some pelvic floor exercises?

Sex forum?

I’m two weeks shy of being able to access the sex forum as I made a new account (sorry, but please try and see the relationship angle - is there an issue?)

Don’t think I have An infection but i did fracture my pelvis - although first times happened before that.

My GPs is male

You've had answers in the other thread.
Expecting different ones?
More of our own experiences?

Is it definitely pee?

Ask to see a female GP if you'd rather, it is allowed.

Also, are you sure it's actually wee? Female ejaculate can feel a bit like wee but it doesn't smell as strong and there isn't as much of it. (If it's actually wee, you'll be 100% sure. If you're unsure, it could be female ejaculate).

Does it happen if you make sure to empty your bladder before sex?

Also sorry if this is obvious but have you told your partner it upsets you and asked him if he's trying to trigger it on purpose?? That is the weird part here - also the fact that he's happy to have sex when it's painful for you!

If it was me I'd go to GP and get refered to gynae. Why does it matter that gp is a man?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3163441-TMI-sex-question

Just so no one repeats themselves.

I don’t think it can be female ejaculate because I don’t think I’ve ever orgasmed. I have never found sex to feel good.

Sorry, but I have to ask why you feel the need to repost this when you've already had plenty of advice on your original thread.

Ejaculation isn't necessarily linked to orgasm. It's just a physical response to arousal.

No I haven’t asked him if he’s doing it on purpose, but yes he does know it upsetting me.

Please get checked out by your doctor op & talk to your partner.
Then when you're ready to have sex again use some lube.
Do you have kids?

If you read the other thread you will see that I was advised to post it here.

No no kids.

FannyWisdom - I haven’t asked anyone for their own experiences. I’m shit scared there’s something wrong with me and I’m shit scared it’s link to child sexual abuse and I’m permenantly damaged.

I’m now shitting it that my relationship may not be what I thought it was.

I will find an appointment with a female GP - although having someone I don’t know examine me makes me incredibly nervous

Then speak to your existing therapist and stop asking randoms like myself on the internet?

So sorry to hear that Ziggy.
Please go and ask for female GP & ask for counselling if you don't do that already?

I’m not entirely sure I can speak to my therapist about this.

Thank you Smiled.

I think its a relationship issue

If your partner knows it upsets you but is insisting that you do it then he sounds very unpleasant

If he doesn't realise how upsetting it is for you then maybe breaking down into words of one or two syllables would be better for him

look after yourself Ziggy.