There's no excuse for this - is there?

[Rosered22]

I'm in shock... yesterday morning my dh went to walk to the dog in the morning. I heard a rustling noise from the bedside cabinet which I though was weird. Then upon his return - I found a condom lying in his walking clothes..unused. But this is not good! We have two DC aged 6 and 9 and our whole life is tied up together- been together 20 years. There was an incident two years ago - major alarm bells I know - where I found he had Grindr on his phone but he said he was just bored and feeling low etc and had only message a few people (men!). He was mortified and went to the Gp for depression etc. Things seemed to be back on track... I haven't confronted him yet as I need to get my head around things. He knows I'm acting weird and he also knows I saw the condom as I told him to pick it up.... I just need support people. I'm a shaky mess and haven't told anyone IRL.

Where did the condom "fall out" from? I don't keep condoms in the same drawer as passports. Neither would I download a gay hook-up app if I was feeling "low"

Sorry op he sounds like a shit I can see why you'd prefer to ignore this and not want to rock the boat, but I don't think this will be the last time. He needs to be totally fucking honest with you.

It’s well known, I was quite shocked when I found out. A lot of people, meet on walks and stuff. Natural wooded areas etc are ripe for casual meets. I do think it is entirely plausible he arranged to meet someone and they didn’t show so the condom was unused. Rather than he was going to the bank super early with the dog and a condom.

I do think it is entirely plausible he arranged to meet someone and they didn’t show so the condom was unused. Rather than he was going to the bank super early with the dog and a condom.

This^

OP - do you genuinely believe him, or are you just kidding yourself that you believe him?

Any genuinely straight man would never download grindr (sp?).

It will all rear its ugly head again. It can only be a matter of time. Ignoring it won't make it all go away, it'll just gloss over it temporarily. You can't make a bisexual or a gay man straight.

Say it happens again in 2/3/4 years...your children will be older, you will have wasted invested even more years in the marriage, it will be even harder.

I'm not one for hollering LTB, far from it, & I've put up with some shit it my time, but for me there would be no muddling through.

I'd have to cut my losses sooner rather than later, I'm afraid.

Please be very careful accepting this story. I know you probably want to believe it, but it does sound very dodgy. Take care x

As they say ‘an adulterers dog, is the best walked’

Sorry I think he has or intends to cheat on you . He is definitely bi-sexual at the very least . You don’t just set up Grindr because you are bored.

Get your ducks in a row op because the reality is he will leave you eventually when he has found someone. You can’t trust him so I strongly advise to keep your own council and get in touch with a solicitor pronto and to also have an sti check .

So sorry that you’re going through this try channel your anger towards getting yourself out of this situation ( on your terms )and protect your children’s future xx

Shit sorry zombie thread 🙄

Phycology Professor are you on glue?!
Thank Christ this is an old thread.

if you can't give something to your loved one and he is getting it from somewhere else it is not cheating

@PsychologyProfessor DFOD

You just have to calm down and be an understanding wife
Fucking brilliant!
Be a good little girl and let him shag around.
Let him trounce all over your marriage vows and just be grateful to have a MAN in your life!
Fan-bloody-tastic.
You've just made my day Professor

Stay off the glue!

"I'm feeling fed up, I think I'll hook up with some men off Grinder".....said NO straight man EVER.

I'm a straight woman. I've been fed up occasionally. Never did this make me fancy a day as a Lesbian.