Aibu? In laws.

[newnameneeded29]

I really don't like my inlaws. Never have. Never will. They probably don't like me either. That's fine.

We moved house early December and dh invited them to come and see the house on Saturday. Lunch and a couple of hours with them I can just about handle. Dh text me this morning to say they're actually staying until Monday.

Surely, surely he'd have discussed it with me before making the invitation??

Might be your house but it’s his home too. Although that said, it’s a marital asset so if you got divorced he’d be entitled to 50% of it anyway.

But I agree, out of curtesy, he should have mentioned it to you.

Hummm.i have to say I'd not be to happy to be informed my inlaws were staying..luckily I'm not to hot at housework so it puts them of staying..mil is a clean freak...just being nosy ,but foes it cause problems the fact he's not contributed to the house

I thought pre-nups weren't worth the paper they're written on and it was a waste of time having one. I'm sure there was a whole thing about that a few years ago.

Jux that was my understanding as well

You own the house.
You have a pre-nup.
You don't like your in-laws.
Nice future brewing there, OP.

Pre nups, in the uk aren’t worth squat after 2 years, even then I don’t think they are water tight with uk divorce laws

Will he do all the work to put them up?
Beds, cooking, shopping, trips, etc...???
I think you need to make it clear that it's not OK to just do this without consulting you. Just as you wouldn't do it without consulting him.
He also needs to know that you may have 'other plans' if things are getting too much for you.
What will the weekend look like exactly?
Do they make sly digs etc...?

Op

I’m sorry you are in this situation but speaking from experience don’t go to war with the in laws if you can avoid it.

Are they really so bad? If not then accept them into your world.

Otherwise this carnage will continue to die g your marriage

Dog *

Hells digs about everything.

Xmas was "oh you've put on weight". I have an eating disorder.

Have a calm chat with your DH, make It clear you will not be minding them at all, he will have to see them off himself on Monday and if that means taking a day off work so be it. But don’t slag off his parents. He doesn’t need to hear that you don’t like them. Just concentrate on the arrangement and that you would rather have been consulted first. It’s possible they invited themselves for a longer stay and he didn’t know how to say no.

Regardless of who owns the house you both live there. Its only common courtesy to check with you before inviting over night guests. What if you had plans that weekend that he didn't know about. YANBU he is. I'm supprised other comments have told u otherwise.

Op

Are they malicious or thoughtless there is a difference?

Malicious. His mum locked me in the downstairs loo and went out.

Dear god ! Just read your last post about being locked in the lavatory. What was the response of your DH? If this was genuinely done on purpose they would not be visiting my home again until an apology was forthcoming . I was going to suggest that you absent yourself this weekend when they arrive ... but then had second thoughts. Why should you have to leave your own home ? You don't want to set a precedent. As is so often said on MN , you have a DH problem not an IL problem.

Ok that is a bit weird. Agree don’t set a pattern of absenting yourself from your own home.

I guess you can't stop this visit but you can make it the last extended one. Can you be elsewhere to avoid them?

Are they unhinged? Why oh why would anyone lock you in a toilet!

Call your friend and book a girls weekend away

I'm going to go to my own parents I think. I'll suggest it anyway.

No, he should be asking if that's ok not telling.

Text back - 'Sorry, that doesn't work for me. We'll have to get together to work out a mutually convenient time for me too if they want to stay over. Will you tell them or shall I?'

If he says no then tell him fine, but it'll be their last visit. Then be as rude and unwelcoming as you possibly can. End up by locking MIL in the bathroom, turning off the heating/water, throwing their car keys in a nearby bin and checking into a hotel for the rest of the weekend.

Then after all has died down say to your H 'Discuss it with me next time'.

Hmm.

You see it as your house and I'm sure there's a massive backstory as to why you do.

Don't leave your own house, tell him they aren't welcome for more than dinner.

If he insists, maybe suggest that things don't look as if they're going to work out.

Fizzy

Text him back "Oh that's lovely for you. Which hotel are they staying in?" and see what he says....

Watchamacallit that made me giggle. You should reply with that op