I'm worried about my husband (Personal - sex related)

[worriedsadwife]

My husband and I have been together for 17 years we are both 34.

I am so worried about things and I have no one at all to talk to. The last year or so sex between us has been very difficult because he gets so tired so quickly - he gets very hot and then isn't able to continue - even if I am doing most of the work ( god I'm so rubbish at talking about this kind of thing!)

Firstly I am worried about why and secondly I'm kind of frustrated !

I was just looking for any opinions on what to do if anything !

i asked my uncle who is a doctor, he said it sounds like a heart problem. cant say for sure without check up but sounds like it im afraid

What’s his diet like?

I am also wondering about a heart problem. I know it will be hard to persuade him, as men seem to hate GPs, but could you gently suggest it (and link it to the tiredness, rather than to anything to do with sex)? I hope you manage to find a solution. I suspect your DH is unhappy, too.

Tell him to take that "not your choice" bullshit about seeing a gp and shove it up his stupid arse. It most CERTAINLY IS your business. You are MARRIED and you BOTH have responsibilities to each other. For him to feel that his health is none of your business or that it doesn't directly impact your life is utter horse shit. Tell him he is being a selfish moron because he IS.

I will try to speak to him this evening about it again and be a bit more forceful. We have 6 children so it isn't even just me and him it's affecting it's all of us.

I can already hear the excuses
"I can't take time off work atm"
"I just need to go to the gym"
"Your making something of nothing"

Or worse make out like it's my fault

He should check his heart, a man in his 30's shouldn't get tired like that . Does he have a manual job ?

It could be diabetes, which was why I wondered about diet. Any weight changes?

type 2 diabetes can go undetected for a while. would explain the lack of energy and tiredness. also can cause impotence. is he drinking more, weeing more? blurred vision?

To be honest if you have 6 dc then I'm not surprised he is tired but he does seem abnormally tired .

He probably hasn't realised how bad it has got. For a man of 34 to find cleaning the kitchen cupboard doors tires him out - that he has enough energy for 'pottering about' - my God! Of course it has something to do with you - your life is hugely affected by his health and so are the kids, surely? Does he run about with them, do sport with them...?

That amount of time in front of a screen isn't good either.

Booqueue he hasn't mentioned blurred vision or anything but he did have an eye thing - episcleritis? I think a few months ago.

Annandale - no he doesn't do anything like this.

Could it be stress do you think?

This could be anything from just being a bit unfit to something really worrying like lymphoma

Get him to the GP for some basic blood tests and take it from there

I was also thinking Diabetes, as my son has recently been diagnosed with it, and the only symptom he had was extreme tiredness

He has always been very healthy and fit, so in the end had enough and decided to get checked over,he was shocked but glad he went in the end,

@worriedsadwife
no that won't be diabetes related if that's what he has. the high glucose in the blood changes the shape of the lens and makes vision blurred.

does he have fruity pear drop breath?

you can buy a home diabetes test, can rule it out without the GP. really hope he sees sense and goes though.

Booqueue- no he doesn't have that.

The only other thing I can think of is he gets very tender to the touch ribs and stiffness in his ribs but he's had that for years now!

I think, if you can, you need to really lay it on the line, that this isn't just about him, he has a marriage, and six children to consider, time to man up and visit his GP.
Would he allow you to go with him ?

He really needs to see his GP. Extreme tiredness can be due to many health problems, including heart and kidney conditions.

See link below, episcleritis can sometimes be associated with other conditions, could that help persuade him to seek help?

httpscaretrust.org.uk/view.php?item_id=79

'The disorder is idiopathic in the majority of cases, however in certain instances there may be an association with some underlying systemic disease such as rheumatoid arthritis, polyarteritis nodosa, systemic lupus erythematosus, inflammatory bowel disease, sarcoidosis, Wegener's granulomatosis, gout, herpes zoster virus or syphilis.'

Well he has point blank refused to even look at me let alone talk to me . Added to that my cousin called to say me aunt had died.

He's just sitting on the computer playing games - I give up.

Show him this thread and get him to read it. Show him it isn't just you that's worried. Hopefully that will be enough to get him to the doctor.

It sounds like he’s very unwell?
ME is possible?

I’d say he goes to the GP or I’m leaving him tbh. He’s being v v selfish and irresponsible.