How long before you met your OH’s parents? Is this too soon?

[CandiedPeach]

I’ve been seeing someone for around 4/5 months and he mentioned last night that his parents are visiting this weekend and they’d like to meet me. He’s suggested we go out for Sunday lunch with them.

I feel rather nervous at the idea and can’t help but feel it’s bit too soon. But then he’s met mine a few times, although very fleeting and casually not something we planned.
One of my friends thinks it’s too soon and something you do when it gets a lot more serious, but the other thinks it’s better to me meet them sooner rather than later.

Well, DH and I were engaged in less than 5 months, so I don't think it's too soon at all

I think I met his parents after about 6 weeks. Certainly no more than 2 months.

I say go for it. They are just people and it would look really odd for you to pull out cos you thought it was too soon.

I don't see why you have to be serious before meeting them. Having lunch is just a social event, not an interview.

Had a met my dps parents sooner I would have run for the hills.
They finally agreed to meet me 6 weeks before I had there grandson
The sooner the better to know what you are getting into. It also shows he respects you enough to have you acknowledged.
I hope it goes well if you go

a= I sorry

8 months after my OH and i started dating there was a family wedding, his nephew, so i dint just get to meet his mom i got the whole family in one room all at once, that was terrifying, but i survived , and four years later we are still together so a sunday lunch isnt that bad

Well, it was after I fell pregnant with their grandchild - about 8 months after we met -which made meeting fairly strange. Particularly as DH had told them about me, but then was too scared to tell them I was pregnant (needless to say this was not a planned pregnancy!)

So when we did meet they thought I was less pregnant than I was as he'd only just told them (and the silly thing didn't want to admit he'd not told them earlier so shaved a couple of months off my gestation - not sure how he thought he'd get away with that). So yep red faces all round.

To answer the OP - 4-5 months is fine, Perfect in fact.

6 weeks here, he thought I'd like them and they me, and it was nice that I was not introduced as a serious girlfriend or anything, it took the pressure off IYSWIM?

Some people are very uncomplicated about new girlfriends/boyfriends meeting their parents. It just means they come from a relaxed home, usually

I think I met them after about a week... we both still lived at home when we met so it was unavoidable. I think 4-5 months is fine.

That’s what one of my friends is saying Confused.

I’ve never really done the meeting parents thing, so I’m probably just building it up to be something it’s not. But I get the impression they’re coming to purposefully meet me.

Plus I’m a youngish single mum and although I in no way feel bad about that or that it makes me in anyway not good enough for him. I feel like it might be quite awkward and not sure how to broach the subject of my dd or if I should at all.

My DD1 brought her bf home to meet us after they had been together around 4/5 months. I think he was nervous but he is lovely and had nothing to worry about.

Second bloody date

Pure coincidence my mum and brother had gone for a drink in the same pub.

It was slightly awkward but alright. We had a drink with them and then went elsewhere.

Actually, I met his parents quite quickly too - dh took me to a family function.

It was all quite informal though.

On our third date

That’s what it was like with my ex DeadBut and why he met mine pretty early on. But it was very much just “hi this is A” type meetings and a bit of small talk.
What do I talk about? What do I wear? I get the feeling his parents are a bit posher and more formal than mine.

I met them after only two weeks! All went well they are both lovely and I consider her to be my mum because my mum passed away 10 years ago. That was 15 months ago!

I think it’s lovely that he wants to introduce you to his parents. Assuming he speaks warmly of them, there’s no reason to think they aren’t just as nice as him. When I met my now DH’s parents for the first time I was a young widow with three young kids, so I understand your nervousness, but just be yourself, and talk with pride about your dd. I’m sure they will see in you what their son sees. Have a lovely time!

I met my DP on a night out and went back to his. Met his mum in the morning (he lived with his parents then)

I met my PILs for the first time a couple of days after the wedding. So definitely not too early in the relationship.

Current OH - after about 18 months, mainly because they live in another country.

XH - after about 3 years, he hated them and with good reason

A former boyfriend - second date when his Dad walked in on us shagging

Thanks whateveryousay he does speak well of them and they seem like a close family. I know it’s probably the dd thing that’s making me feel most nervous. He’s not met her yet, although I obviously talk about her to him and his parents know about her.

I think that seems perfectly fine, but I guess it depends on how seriously you see your relationship with him. My now dh and I met and started dating while we were expats working abroad. He met my mum after about 6 months, but certainly would have met her sooner had she actually lived in the same country. They only met then because that was the only time she came to visit me out there. I met him after about 7 months when we travelled back home together (but literally got picked up at the airport by them and went to stay with them at their house for 2 months straight as we were moving back together and neither had a place to stay yet back at home and they were happy with us to stay with them for a bit). So meeting for lunch at 4/5 months doesn't seem like a big deal compared to living with them at 7 months. But especially if they lived close, 4/5 months to me actually seems like a long time unless it's been very casual to this point.

I met my now PILs a month in, and as with pps it was all perfectly fine. Although I did then end up meeting the (large) extended family at DH's Gran's funeral. That I wouldn't recommend so much. Good luck op.

Speaking as a mother of boys, if they had been seeing someone for 4/5 months I would love to meet her. Not to judge I promise!

About 3rd/4th date here - he still lived at home and I was giving him a lift home and ge invited me in to meet them. I was a bit on the spot and couldn't think of a way to say no without offending so I did. MIL was a bit flustered bless her!