Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How often do you have sex?

82 replies

arewenormal · 28/07/2004 07:57

DH and I have never had a very active sex life but since having DS two years ago we've only had sex three times! Is this normal? I think we'd both like to have sex more often but perhaps only because we think we 'should'. Is it the same for everyone or is everyone else shagging like bunnies??

OP posts:
Northerner · 28/07/2004 16:51

It would worry me too if we didn't do it. I think it's a major part of a relationship.

Northerner · 28/07/2004 16:52

In fact, my MIL beleives that men get grumpy and miserable when they're not getting any, and it's our duty to releive them

chrissey14 · 28/07/2004 17:00

men are there to serve us now lol

Blu · 28/07/2004 17:02

How often do I have sex? Not as often as I could if I wasn't always on bloody mumsnet!!!!!!

mummytosteven · 28/07/2004 17:06

arewenormal - are either of you on any sort of medication that could affect your sex drive - even the pill and ADs can have this effect, as can some blood pressure medication?

Nickinha · 28/07/2004 17:25

NEVER - i just dont want it anymore, and it is cause HUGE problems in my otherwise perfect marriage!

lou33 · 28/07/2004 18:25

Have we Fio? So many things are discussed on here I can never remember anything for more than five minutes!

Sunny how are you stranger?!

sunchowder · 28/07/2004 18:30

Miss you all dreadfully. I am really good, just crazy busy with work. The summer has been really great. Hot as hell, but we still have a great time. My kids go back to school on August 2, so things will get a bit more normal then in terms of my schedule. I would love to get back into the Mumsnet swing. I think about you often even if I don't log in. I get these little missing pangs when I think about you. XXOO Sunchowder

PS: Is anyone coming over for a visit?

lou33 · 28/07/2004 18:35

Not this year, we are off to Thailand at the end of November, and I have a trip to Prague looming, as well as dh going to Barcelona, so we are counting the pennies!

sunchowder · 28/07/2004 18:38

Thailand sounds GREAT! And Prague..Barcelona..they all sound so very good. I am sure you will enjoy your trips. We will come to the UK next year for sure. Hopefully will have some time for a meet up--I will make the time. And hopefully I will have sex before then!

lou33 · 28/07/2004 18:40

I'll cross my fingers and toes for you!

mieow · 28/07/2004 18:53

sex??? whats sex???

Original poster
arewenormal · 29/07/2004 09:00

Really interesting feedback! I think we have a mismatch in styles. Unusually it seems, DH is the one who prefers to 'make love' and I want a dirty shag. We've tried to compromise or take turns (as such) but DH feels uncomfortable with my sexuality and I feel unsatisfied with his. Over the years things have just slowed down to almost nothing. I think we'd both like to have sex more often but it's become awkward between us. Talking about it doesn't help, in fact it seems to make it worse. DH is uncomfortable talking it about it all and if we do he gets defensive and angry. Don't know what to do.

OP posts:
ladygarden · 29/07/2004 09:05

With reference to Northerner and the grumpy men need sex theory - the day I came home from hospital after my 3 day labour and emergency section my mother took me aside and told me not to one of these women who don't give their men enough sex after having chldren as 'men need it'... and I could barely walk at the time! Haven't seen my dad in the same light since either!

reallyembarrassedbut · 29/07/2004 11:06

arewe, I seem to see a little contradiction within your feelings - I'm not exactly the best person to comment (as i said, 6 years and counting, so if my DW did jump me I think I'd have forgotten what to do) - and it sounds as though the two of you need to talk.

We don't talk, and that's our downfall - is there anyone you could both talk to, apart from a counsellor, a friend?

Blu · 29/07/2004 11:23

Arewe... I know what you mean. Before DS our sex life used to be very full-on and adventurous...we were often a bit drunk and high on an exciting night out. It felt as if much of our interaction was a sort of forepaly - so 'dirty' sex was easily arrived at. Now that sleep and noise and privacy are an issue, and our daily family contact is now focusses arpund cudddles with DS, and evenings are spent wiping up sticky toddler detritus, it is much harder to escape into full-on vitamin F fuelled sex - it's quicker and cosier. And down to about once a month

nikcola · 29/07/2004 11:26

twice a week but i prefere my little friend in the draw (my rabbit)

Northerner · 29/07/2004 11:29

And that's a whole new thread Nikcola!

reallyembarrassedbut · 29/07/2004 13:01

trudges off feeling inadequate

chunkypie · 15/08/2004 22:32

My dh & myself have never been exactually rampant beast's either ( I'm sometimes amazed that we have 2 kids!) & yes it has got evan worse since becoming parent's.
I am a working mum & my husband does shift work, so we never have the time or energy & bed is 4 sleeping in as far as I'm concerned!
I also have a not very romantic husband, who's idea of 4 play is to go 2 bed with no pants on!!!
I was discussing this with my sister last night (who feels the same & does not evan have kids yet!) & we discussed weather we would rather live life without sex or alcahol & we both reached the conclusion, sex definatly!!!

lavender1 · 15/08/2004 22:52

without revealing too much as this is a very personal question, 4-5 times a week, that's not always every day but sometimes 2x a day and then a couple of days without....do agree that it's very necessary in a personal relationship and you do feel closer to your other half but sometimes it's not easy to be at it like rabbits and everyone has there low periods here...

Twiglett · 15/08/2004 22:56

message withdrawn

reallyembarrassedbut · 16/08/2004 09:33

just a semiotic point, after six years, am I entitled to answer "I don't"?

Titania · 16/08/2004 09:36

twice maybe 3 times in the past 6 months

reallyembarrassedbut · 16/08/2004 09:57

sounds like an orgy to me