Brothers ex fiancée..

[Cinderella1997]

My brother and his fiancée were together for near on 6 years, then he started something with another woman behind his fiancées back, to which she was heartbroken (understandably), they had a beautiful home together to which he moved out until it sold, she agreed she didn't want any content of the house other than a bed, which he agreed with, and he also agreed she could stay in the house till it's sold and he'll move back to our parents and he'll carry on paying his half of the bills and he 'understood' she was not the one who caused this, and didn't want her to be out of pocket.
This was 6 months ago, he moved on with a woman who had 2 children (the woman he was talking to behind her back), and he moved in within a month, and as much as me and his fiancée were close, we drifted apart, which had a big affect on my lo.
Now 6 months down the line, she (the ex fiancée) has got back into contact with my which I'm thrilled about, she's a lovey person, but my brother and his now girlfriend are not happy about it, it only came to light as we re added one another on Facebook (probably a wrong move I know) but I wanted to know if I'm being unreasonable to have a relationship with his ex? who was a big part of my sons life, and mine for nearly 6 years, throughout my pregnancy, birth everything.
Thanks for reading

He has not right or her for that matter to tell you who you can be friends with.

No, this is a problem for the pair of cheats to deal with. You may be friends with who you choose.

Don't lose the friendship of a lovely person to pander to a pair of people who sound, well, a lot less lovely.

Lol at them (presumably) being offended as it's not the done thing for you to do this- thought they were both fine with doing stuff that's not the done thing 😂

No you are not BU being friends with the ex but he was BU cheating on his fiancé!

When we recognise morals and dignity in a person, we want them in our lives because in some way they represent our core values so I can only surmise this is why you'd want to keep her in your life? Your brother on the other hand...

YANBU at all. She needed time to heal and is now ready to pick up where things left off. This is bugging your brother because he did her wrong. It would be totally fine for the two of you to have a good relationship because you’re a good friend match and are more mature than your brother.

Thank you all, I honestly thought I was just being out of order maybe, as he tried throwing in my face family loyalty. I've kept mutual between them when everything was going on I never took sides, but I'm not asking them to all be in a room together, my friendship with her is seperate to my family (not that we see him much as he's playing step daddy to now girlfriends children)
Not once has she asked me about their life and what's going on with them, and I would never go back to brother & girlfriend and tell them about her life as I'd rather not be stuck in the middle. She's such a lovely kind hearted person who did not deserve this, but then again who does. Thank you again all. X

Poor woman. I think you should continue to meet up with her. It's not as though your brother and his new gf is going to be traipsing through your house unannounced is it.

I think she probably needs or craves your validation in some way. To be cut off by you too would probably make her feel so worthless.

I suspect that if you let her know that you're so sad yourself because you wished you'd had her in the family and that your bother is an idiot to let her slip through his fingers through being a shit etc, that she will probably fade away in to the back ground eventually and only be in touch less often.

Your brother doesn't have to know who you're friends with. He's really expect you to whitewash his decisions.

I agree with the pp that your wanting to remain friends with her reminds him that he was a shit.

I'd actually block your brother on facebook for a while.

I think what he doesn't know can't hurt him. It's not like you'd lose touch with your brother if you weren't connected on facebook.

Do what you like. Tell your brother to keep his nose out of your business.

Be friends with whoever you like. Say to your brother oh does it remind you you were a cheating sod? Such a shame.

Yes she’s done nothing wrong I would keep seeing her- it is guilt causing db concerns

You chose who you want to be friends with.... not your cheating Brother and his new partner... hell no

YANBU. I am good friends with my brothers ex and we meet for coffee every few months. I am also best friends with his DW and she couldn't give a toss that I still see his ex.

Nope you can be friends with whomever you choose.

You can maintain a separate friendship with his Ex. I understand it would get difficult if they were at events together... but that's not the case.

I maintain a separate friendship with my Ex SIL.. it's nothing to do with my brother.

You've all made me realise that because of what he's done he doesn't want the constant reminder that he was a dick towards her.
She felt as if it was the right thing to delete me off social media as we can still maintain our friendship through texts if needs be, but after the hurling of abuse from my mum on the phone it puts me in an awkward situation as she never liked her anyway, only as no one is good enough for her darling son. Thank you all for your advise/input. X

You can be friends with whom you like, but be very sure first that she is getting on with her life and that she doesn't see you as a route back to her brother, or as a source of intel about his current relationship. You'd be doing her no favours if she is hopeful of a reconciliation, or if she's failed to move forward.

He can fuck off. She's your friend. It's not like she was the one who cheated. .. x

Wow, talk about pot Kettle black of him to be questioning loyalty!

I find things like this really bloody unfair. So whilst he was with her (for 6 years) he was happy for the two of you to be friends. But now he's dumped her he (and your DM) are calling you unreasonable and being really quite unkind because you haven't been manipulated into disowning her because they wanted to. EVEN, though she had a bond with your DC! Honestly..

Your brother had an affair and left his fiancee but YOU'RE the one in the wrong? Tell him he doesn't get to vet your friends because he screwed around. The CF

someone who fucks around has a nerve talking about loyalty and i wouldnt be shy to say so either! Totally agree.

I’m friends with my brothers ex wife (he also cheated) and he’s totally not happy about it to the point he doesn’t want to speak to me ever again. I have examined my motives though and believe I am doing the right thing (she allows me and my sons to see my niece) my brother and his girlfriend (or mistress) have rewritten history that they are soulmates and his wife was abusive (she hit him when she found out about the affair-I don’t condone this but he had been lying for months and even taken her back to the family home). Fortunately for me though the rest of the family can see what my brother and his gf are like and don’t like her at all. They seem to think she is the driving force behind this.

You loyality should be with your brother first unless there are children involved.
It doesn’t sound like you were great friends and I’d question her motive.
Whilst I’m not condoning your brother’s actions, he did the right thing by moving out, paying his share of bills and wasn’t horrible to her afterwards.

My DB and SIL split up after 16 yrs. no one else involved. She's one of my best friends. I refused to take sides remained friends with her. V difficult at first but 18 months on all is amicable. Persist!!