Brothers ex fiancée..

[Cinderella1997]

My brother and his fiancée were together for near on 6 years, then he started something with another woman behind his fiancées back, to which she was heartbroken (understandably), they had a beautiful home together to which he moved out until it sold, she agreed she didn't want any content of the house other than a bed, which he agreed with, and he also agreed she could stay in the house till it's sold and he'll move back to our parents and he'll carry on paying his half of the bills and he 'understood' she was not the one who caused this, and didn't want her to be out of pocket.
This was 6 months ago, he moved on with a woman who had 2 children (the woman he was talking to behind her back), and he moved in within a month, and as much as me and his fiancée were close, we drifted apart, which had a big affect on my lo.
Now 6 months down the line, she (the ex fiancée) has got back into contact with my which I'm thrilled about, she's a lovey person, but my brother and his now girlfriend are not happy about it, it only came to light as we re added one another on Facebook (probably a wrong move I know) but I wanted to know if I'm being unreasonable to have a relationship with his ex? who was a big part of my sons life, and mine for nearly 6 years, throughout my pregnancy, birth everything.
Thanks for reading

As I said previously, she's not once asked about my brother of current girlfriend, she messaged me out of the blue asking how my son was, and that she missed me and my son, I don't believe she has any motives other than the fact that I considered her a very close friend for a good 18 months or so before this and it was sad we felt like we had to drift from one another, she decided to cut me off a month or so after the split as she said it was too painful and she needed to get her life back on track, which seems to me as if she has, I'm a very up front person and she knows that if she asked about my brother or that situation I'd tell her it's none of her business.

I guess I won't know until I've tried.

I'd wind them up and post photos of you and his ex having fun on your FB. It's their own guilty consciences doing this. You arent doing anything wrong. Keep being friends with her if you want to. It's got nothing to do with your brother or his new girlfriend (who will probably be replaced eventually).

Your brother and gf should jog on. Your mum sounds like she favours your brother, is that right OP?

The exfiance sounds too good and better off without him and your mum as MIL.

Your brother is completely out of order in the circumstances. If you were slagging him off to his ex then he might (might) have a point on the loyalty issue, but what exactly are you being disloyal about? She didn’t do anything to him and he totally accepts he was wrong. He’s clearly just trying to rewrite history and you maintaining a friendship with her will stop that from happening.

Just for anyone who's intrested, I spoke to brothers ex and asked her if she's genuinely in mine and my sons life for us or to just find out about brother & girlfriend, she seemed quite shocked I asked at first but then assured me knowing about my brother is not on her list of priorities as it reminds her of how little he respected her and how massively he betrayed her so she couldn't care less about him, but wishes his current girlfriend all the luck in the world .

Then spoke to brother asking why he has such a problem with our friendship, and his answer was he didn't need to give me an answer for not "allowing" me to speak to her other than his current girlfriend will feel "pushed out" with his ex hanging around,

That just sounds ridiculous, if she had cheated or treated him badly i'd understand the loyalty thing but in these circumstances it makes no sense.

There is not problem between you and the ex fiancé so there's no reason you shouldn't be friends. It's not as if ex fiancé cheated on your brother

So he's ordering you, without discussion to take his side.

If his x had hurt, betrayed and shown him a lack of respect I'd agree.

Mind you , with the best will in the world, the gf is not going to be 'over' a six year relationship yet. So if you meet up, it's going to be a reminder for her. I think you should be conscious of the fact that she might not be helping herself by maintaining your friendship right now anyway.

Fuck off to him. He doesnt need your permission nor deserve your respect or agreement. Tough shit to his girlfriend too.

Chairismam- I don't think she means completely over him, That was a wrong choice of words, I think she means she's accepted it for what it is and realised he's her career she's working towards is more important than dwelling on someone who is disrespectful

I think he's a fuck head. He's already taken so much from her why does he think he has some right to also take away her friend? Also he had a cheek to talk about loyalty. The gf might feel pushed out? He didn't give a fuck about his fiancee being pushed out. I say be friends with her and tell him to grow the fuck up and to stop being a cruel bastard.

She deserves a good friend

Who brings more to yiur life op? Whose life do you enjoy being a part of more?

Sad to say it sounds like your brother is telling you to choose and your mother telling you to obey.

It's not like she'll be hanging around though is it? You will keep a separate friendship with her.

I don't even tell my brother about my interactions with his Ex. In our case, she's the mother of my nephews and niece, so I will always maintains something if a friendship with her.

I'm sure my brother would prefer I didn't, but he'd never say anything.

Ypu can be friends with whoever you like.

Call my cynical but I bet new (other) woman isn't happy that the ex is involved or remotely on the scene because she knows he has strayed once and is probably paranoid about them getting back together.