Do I want too much time?

[TheLittleLion]

BF and I have been together 10 months.
I have a young DC, he has 2 teenage DCs.
He usually comes to my house 2 evenings a week as his children are at their mums and sometimes I see him one day during the week.
This is the exact same amount of time we’ve always spent together, right from the start. AIBU to expect more time?

He normally stays on a Friday night but has some rubbish reason to leave on Saturday so we never do anything. I have talked to him about his several times over the last few weeks and he keeps telling me it will change but so far it hasn’t.

Yesterday we had an argument because for once it wasn’t raining and I wanted to go out and do something with DC but BF was ‘too tired’. He stormed off and left. He did later apologise for ruining the day and promised me he’d change.

Then today.. I asked what he’s doing. He said he’s taking his youngest out with his DB and DN. Is it wrong of me to feel hurt by this? He’s always doing something, just never with us.

I’m actually starting to feel really unwanted but I do have low self esteem and depression so I’m not sure if I’m just being overly negative and overreacting.

After reading that back it seems fairly small but it’s been going on for so long, any opinions would be really appreciated.

Also, we need to let go of this expecting men to fight for us shizzle. This isn't a romantic comedy from the 80's. It's real life, people, especially parents (yes even men!) have other priorities to deal with - they want a relationship that enhances their life, they have no time for standing outside a porch in the rain with some soggy tulips or some such image! so we all need to grow up and be open not gullible and be reasonable but not overaccommodating. And to the men who put their kids first I say - well done. Admirable. The majority of women do it all the time so why shouldn't dads?

Oh no, I’m not trying to demonise him. He’s a lovely man, great in many ways. I loved spending time with him and will miss him loads, we’re just ultimately not compatible.

And the fighting for me thing.. everyone wants actions to show that they are loved. He said all the right words but couldn’t prove it. Yes he’s a brilliant dad, always puts his kids first but when they’re teenagers and his relastionship is ending i don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to change the plan of one night. I don’t know.. maybe it’s me being far too demanding. But it’s what I needed at the time.

Anyway that doesn’t matter now, we’re on good terms. I think he’s a great person and I’m time I hope we can be friends.

TheLittleLion you sound lovely and still are respectful of him and I'm proud of you for accepting this hard decision as I know in your mind you would have liked more than he is willing to give.

Actions definitely speak louder than words. There is a big red flag in not introducing someone to your friends/family. Especially after the duration you were together. I guess think about what you really want from your next relationship, so you don't settle again x

I’m trying to be respectful Meow, trying so hard. I don’t want him to feel bad about himself, as much as I want to scream at him. This is who he is and he can’t change that. Ultimately we both deserve to be happy and we were just making each other miserable, I wasn’t easy to be with this last month or so.

I won’t be settling next time, I know what I want. I just need to be stronger.

I read a quote earlier that said ‘when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time’ and I’ll be living by that from now on.

Thank you so much for being so kind. You’ve made a hard day a little easier for me