Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Thank you Sweet just a no stop button. It is actually very strange that I have no memory at all of what apparently happened. I remember getting on train and getting cab. Fell over a few times but absolutely no memory of being in a particular pub. I remember the one before. This is strange fir me and I am struggling to process it.

Ma so pleased for you. My daughter is travelling at the moment and I miss her so much. She is my best friend. It’s been 6 months.

That is so exciting Ma, how has he been?

You should also note that your response to 'D'H-WB (is it awful that I did that to distinguish him from Hope's WB who I think of as THE WB?), being helpful was not 'how lovely, this is the way it used to be, and could be again', it was irritation; that is a very difficult one to continue to live with. BUT you CAN do 50 days, go for it!

Rothbury, the Bus is a veritable menagerie, we had baby pandas once, but someone made me take them back

Gosh, this thread is so welcoming. I want to respond to everyone but if I miss anyone’s comments I do apologise, it’s just a little hard keeping up if you’re reading back through lots of posts.

venus: now once upon a time I would absolutely have agreed that in an ‘emergency’ I definitely would have said fuck the agoraphobia and gone to the shop for booze, so the person who said that was right. But currently it is so bad I can’t leave the house at all - not even for booze! - which is why I’ve been getting it delivered. And no one is going to buy it for me. So my ‘solution’ to this a while ago was to cancel all of my credit and debit cards (I don’t to have cash in the house) and this kickstarted my 11 days AF because I simply could not get any booze. And then of course, I was feeling better and was less anxious and all that malarkey and the ‘disease’ told me it was ok to have a drink, because it was obvious I could stop, hadn’t I just proved it to myself? So I had a drink and haven’t had an AF day since, and that was last September. SIGH.

MsHoolies: I would never think that of anyone with a drinking problem, that they were in some way worse or at least I wasn’t as bad as them. I’ve been to some pretty dark places with this drinking thing, and I feel for anyone who has gone through the awfulness of trying to fight it. So my heart goes out to you in your continuing struggle.

rothbury: it is odd how our physical reactions to alcohol change, I agree. I remember how years ago if I’d drunk two bottles of red the night before i’d’ve been utterly poleaxed the next day. Sometimes now two doesn’t even make me feel very pissed. It’s ridiculous.

And PUPPIES!!!

Also welcome and good luck to Trust and when.

I drink because I’m sad. I drink because I’m happy. I drink because I’m fed up and tired and lonely and depressed and then I drink to celebrate too. In short, I Drink, because...

I’ve taken to posting mottos around the place for inspiration. Today’s is (when you want your life to be better and know it could be if only you could knock the drinking on the head):

The only way to start, is to stop.

gosh lux I forgot we had plans for you to marry Richard!

Can I ask a really dumb question.. how do those of you who have made the leap fill your evenings? It's not the parties and weddings and Christmases that scare me. It's the hours between bedtime and when my husband gets home. I can't go anywhere. All I can do is housework (yay), watch tv (wine time) read a book (wine time) talk to my friends on the phone (wine time..) every evening pattern I have is linked to wine. I don't even know how to start other than knowing I want to. The thought of those empty hours scares me. But the thought of filling them with increasingly worrying amounts of wine Scares me too.
One day. One day really soon, I want to be completely sober when he gets home from work. I want a conversation.
I managed it without difficulty when I couldn't drink when I was pregnant but slipped straight back into it. I keep thinking it will be easier when the kids are all at school and I'm back at work... but when I worked I drank too.
I don't know where to begin

WhenI I always feel stupid and uninteresting when dealing with other parents. I hate school pick up and I drop off as late as possible so I don't have to speak to anyone. Clearly I'm going to make loads of friends!

Sweet We saw Despicable Me 3 on one of the cheap toddler viewings in case we needed to leave early. I like the minion films. I own the others!

I'd like a turn with the smock of smug tonight. I've been to the shop at 5.30pm on a Saturday and left with NO lager and NO fags! I took DS for a chippy tea instead. I feel proud. Normally I have my pjs on by then so I can't leave the house. Day 34 and I will not be drinking.

@bakingcupcakes well done you! I don't mind drop off so much but I never feel I have anything to say.
I accidentally end up walking with another mum most days because my ds has absolutely none of my social anxiety and when he sees them he sprints up to them and makes them walk with us 😂 so I talk to her quite a bit. It's just so damn hard. I'd love to know where 20 year old me went. She could handle anything

Otter It's ok, I just posted and then realised I'd completely missed page 20.

WhenI I either cross stitch while watching telly or (don't laugh) I colour but children's colouring books. I've got a grown up one but that required the big light on and concentration!

Baking well done!
Wheni in the evenings I go to the gym then you don’t feel like drinking after but if I can’t get out then I do an exercise DVD. I love Davina’s early ones. Anyway the thing is if you have done some fitness thing then you really don’t feel like drinking. I fell off last night but went to the gym this afternoon and am now back on the bus! Good luck!

@bakingcupcakes no laughter here. It's got to be a more constructive use of time than me staggering into the 1930's door handle again and adding to my permabruise..

@Trust2017 I'll definitely look into a dvd. No time for the gym at present, not in the evenings anyway. Well done on jumping back on

baking you deserve better than the smock of smug. Wear the frock of fabulousness. you are doing really well.

WhenI the boredom of the evenings has always been my downfall and I drink/drank to while away the tedium before bed time. Like you, most activities involved wine - having a bath, reading a book, watching tv..

To stay AF I go to bed very early. Sometimes 8.30 and read or go on MN. Being in bed with a cup of tea creates a different mindset to being up and drinking wine.

Baking, I love Minions!

ma How lovely that your DS is coming home. Great timing on his part.

baking well done. Sometimes that is the hardest thing of all, just not buying the shit.

Ma What have you got planned for while your DS is back? I kind of dread mine moving away (he's only 3 so he'll be here a while yet!) I'd love him to travel etc but it'll be so strange being on my own again.

Good luck today Margie

Rothbury Once I was out of the shop I knew I'd complete another day. Definately the hardest bit for me is walking past.

I've had a lie-in! Just woken up by myself. DS is fast asleep. Feeling a bit of a boing this morning with the extra 90 mins in bed!

Morning Baking you sound on good form. I am back to AF now from yesterday so this is Day 2 for me and I have decided to try another dry month. I realise I was suffering from the fear and anxiety yesterday fuelled on by my friend’s texts. It seems I was a bit silly but nothing major actually. But enough to make me realise I don’t want to be in that position of not remembering ever again. Onwards and upwards. Just off to my Zumba class in an hour.

Morning All,

Whenl, for the first few weeks, I just sat and gritted my teeth in the evenings, I also kept a bottle of fizzy water in my hand at all times because most of the distractions suggested were things I already did with a glass in my hand. But having an early night is good, reading sober blogs and books, then gradually you will find that you have more physical and emotional energy to put into things you may have forgotten, or never discovered, you enjoy.

What a treat, Baking, a reward from the universe for your efforts.

For newer Babes, Richard is Ma's brother, I'll let her tell the story if she wants to.

The rodent apocalypse continues here; last night SweetCat gave one to SweetDog to play with, which he did - on my bed, and then crunched when I caught him. This morning there is apparently another behind the kitchen radiator, it's driving him mad.

Looks like a brighter morning today, which helps, Have a good (AF) day, everybabe.

Well done Trust. I loved Zumba, but had to conclude that I just didn't have the coordination to do it!

apologies to new Babes, as sweet says Richard is my brother and it's my mum who is glad to have her baby home. Richard destroyed his life and nearly died because of alcohol. He ended up being saved by the Salvation Army, which is why we have the Salvation Army Band on the bus at Christmas. His story was played out on here (as is my whole life) and the Babes supported me, and him, through dreadfully dark times. for those reading back it would be about 2013/2014 I think...
He is clean and sober and now living in China as an English teacher.

sweet the crunched rodent made me feel ill. how horrible!

It's a fairly regular occurrence her, Ma, although he generally loses interest before they are completely consumed [green] .

Is he enjoying China?

Morning Sweet yes I know what you mean about coordination. I have no rhythm at all but my teacher system just get the legs more or less right and don’t worry about the arms. ma that is a lovely uplifting post about your brother.

That's what my instructor said, Trust I was still mostly facing the wrong way!

Sorry I misunderstood ma - so I am not the only babe with alcoholism in the family? My DF was alcoholic (died from it) and of his four DC, only one doesn't have a problem with alcohol. She has a serious medical condition and cannot drink alcohol at all. So the rest of us all have this "disease" or whatever it is....

trust and sweet I am dyspraxic so I am hearing you re the zumba/co ordination. I did do a dancercise class last year with an equally dyspraxic friend who resorted to writing R and L on the top of her trainers.

Feeling good today. Off to town with DS17 to do some shopping so I will be poor again by the end of the day....

Sorry - of his FIVE DC, I have four siblings.