What should I do?

[Marinight]

My husband, after a quarrel, being with me in one apartment does not communicate with me.

Go out and leave him on his own.
Not speaking is a form of control and is cruel. DH knows it will upset.
When he does talk to you tackle him about this behaviour.

Thank you Poshindevon, I've been going out already for a week, nothing happens.

a week ?!?!

tell him to leave

Do you want to continue with this relationship? If so, tell him he needs to stop the silent treatment and talk to you. If he refuses, then that's your answer. Time to make plans to get shot of him. A week is a long time to keep up a quarrel.

A week!!
I thought it was just a few hours.
I agree with emmageddon
You cannot live like this.

Thank you for your responses. I'd like to explain from the beginning why I need a piece of advice.
The quarrel's reason actually became the unexpected sleepover of our 17 years old son's friends in our house. My husband percieved it like ' the invaders takes his private space in HIS house and he can's feel free in HIS house where strange people are'. I said him that our son must feel free with his friends in OUR house and I liked the friends of my son. And I said to my husband that his behavior is asocial and idiotic if he feels the friends of our son as ' invaders'. So after such my words he outrageously yelled me to f* off and added that if I felt fine with 'such unacceptable behavior of our son and his friends'(why?!) that we should live alone without him and do what we want. After that he said that he's going to send me to sign divorce'documents and he's been doing nothing for more than week and not communicating with me and my older son.

I thought about divorce but we have two children 17 years and 21 months old. I'm sahm and love my kids dearly and don't want to ruin their lives because they love their father.

Could your dp's friends hear what he was saying? I hope not. Does he have anxiety issues?

The fact he hasn't spoken to you for a week, is a complete over reaction. Bad enough your dc have to witness this, without being subjected to it themselves. Is he often like this? When he's there, does the atmosphere change? Has he threatened divorce before?

No, they didn't hear him. He shows his outrageous behavior often but explains it his stressful work. He hasn't spoken about divorce before.

Now the atmosphere at home is awful. My husband isn't blaming himself for such a behaviour, he isn't even thinking about excuses or smth else to improve the atmpsphere. I tried to communicate with him offering to discuss the situation at family dinner but he refuses even to eat with us at the same table. Just going to work, laying on the sofa and reading.

Look up stonewalling.It describes his behaviour and is used to control.
If he wanted to resolve this he would ask to discuss the issue, the fact is he wants control so that everyone obeys his wishes.

Think about it...next time someone suggests a sleepover, their first thought will be "what will dad think". Its his way of getting his needs met ahead of everyone else in the family.
His reaction is dramatic and over sensitive and instead of calming down he is making it worse.

your Husband is a DICK.. and he's a Bully.. he's is also a Child in mans clothing.... how you have endured this behaviour is astounding... and credit to you...

I read this........

On a deeper level, there is really a power struggle going on for the partner who has lapsed into silence. The silent treatment is really the expression of lots of aggression

The ultimate goal of the strategy is to win. The silent partner is expressing rage in a way that is passive aggressive. This is designed to get attention and to provoke feelings of guilt. Winning means that the target person admits to having committed some type of offense for which they are now begging forgiveness

The paradox in this situation that ultimately gets provoked is anger that then leads to a very loud argument

Yes, I totally agree with you Hermonie2016. Now our older son feels himself guilty and I try to reassure him that it's absolutely normal being so sociable and easy-going person.

Yes, Gemini69, he's a DICK, and cranky and huffish and peevish Child, but what I can do. I think that divorce won't be a solution.

Agree with you Gemini, THIS is his strategy, in making us feeling guilty. But we're not, I'm strongly sure. I just want his understanding that friends' sleepover in adolescent life is absolutely normal (especially if our son's friends are absolutely amazing persons) and this is HIS issues in misunderstanding the situation. But it's unreal I think, he is so stubborn in his conclusions.

And if even somewhat makes him to admit it, his latent agression will be shown in some other way.

I take sedative drops and try not to lose heart.

If even somewhat makes him to admit it his latent agression will be shown in some other way. I take sedative drops and try to not lose heart. Thank you for your support, dear ladies!

And oh boy how only such men-children do not suspect that their behavior can be mind affective for their children!

Do you love him?

Sedative drops?
You have to sedate yourself to cope with the marriage??
The man is a control freak, who uses silence and the threat of divorce to manipulate you.
I'm sure the 17 year old will understand if you divorced his dad. The 21 month old won't know any different.

WickedLazy, it was love, we're more than 20 years together. I just in doubt if I'm able to respect myself being so yielding and trying to understand his behaviour.

Lifeisabeach09, I take them because I'm breastfeeding our youngest and very sensitive, so have to copy with anger. Besides I think if I could confuse my reaction on the situation with the result of hormones influence. May be this whole situation should be just laughed out loud... If it would not be so sad..

I hope things have improved lovely

Long talking. His excuses. Flowers.
Thank you for care, Gemini69. Love you all who supported me.♥xxx