I have no friends!

[Applepie]

I had four amazing friends. I saw them all separately and everything was going well at home and with them. I was struggling to see them all so I thought I'd introduce them all to each other and I can see them more. Big mistake!!!
One of my friends has always been abit obsessive and didn't like me seeing the others. She always tried to put me off seeing them and was a little hesitant about meeting them.
However little did I know she would be the person to ruin everything.
We all meet up and it worked great at first. We all got on and everything was good. Until I had to go back to work.
The girls still hang out without me which I was fine with. However my clingy slightly obsessive friend decided to get rid of me from the group. She played them against me without me even knowing ☹
Two of my friends sided with me they knew what she was saying about me were lies however my bestest friend believed her and she never spoke to me again ☹☹☹ they are now besties.
My two friends stood by me but they still hung out together.
I went from part time to full time work and I was unable to see them as much as I could have hoped for.
One of my friends kicked off saying I didn't have time for her anymore but I was struggling to balance work and two children. I couldn't see her every week. We lost touch.
My other friend was great and was always there for me.
But she's just moved to America with her husband. I'm devastated.
I've now got no One and I feel incredibly lonely.
How do I make new friends at 40!!!
Because of everything that's happened I feel on my guard but I miss female chats and company.
What shall I do????

Where are you situated??? Feel free to pm me if you like I know how it feels to be lonely . I moved to a new town over 6 year ago and still have no friends here, have family and friends back home but they don't make the effort to come see me it's always me travelling, not as close with Anyone as I used to be

I wouldnt worry too much OP, just join some things in your area or go out with work colleagues, or any neighbours you are friendly with.
Its rare for friends to last all your life anyway, people come and go.Look on meet up and see if theres anything there you fancy. Or is there anything you could do with your kids like a sport or something?

Oh dear 🙁 im actually the same more or less, had quite a huge life overhaul and have been questioning for months now if I'll ever have another genuine friendship again.
All I can suggest op is doing what you enjoy and eventually new people will enter your life and maybe a couple of friendships will grow. I tell myself this a lot!

It's hard. My children are teenagers and work is all either very young or very old people so we don't have common interests. Because of work I don't have loads of time for clubs it's so hard ☹

I sympathise with you op. At my most desperate I saw a psychic with hopes of getting a glimpse of a brighter future - nothing she said has materialised and its been a year 😭

I keep thinking it will happen naturally but it's been over a year and I'm so lonely. I live in Essex so any suggestions would be great. I think at the minute even a online friend would be enough ❤

Hey apple where in Essex are you?

I’ve had a major overhaul of ‘friends’ just recently. I do have friends, they are all separate though and I wouldn’t dream of bringing them all together. I’m learning very late in life, not to have expectations, it certainly helps.

Lost my sister last year, she was a best friend too, few ‘friends’ supported me, I managed without them, and I’ll continue to manage without them.

I'm 47 and suddenly realised that I'm desperate for female company. My sister and I don't have any contact, and our social circles were sort of linked - and I was the one that got dropped. I can accept it, but it really hurts and I'd love to have someone to go for a dog walk with or meet for coffee. It's terribly isolating, even though I love everything else about my life. I've wondered about Meetup and stuff but when your confidence has been knocked, it takes a lot to walk into somewhere new. I know exactly how you feel .

Agree re dropping all expectations.
A lot of friendships I see going on around me have a superficial sheen to them, or are built on years of dysfunction.
I havent got it in me to put up with any of that anymore.

There's a little mumsnet spinoff Facebook group called chuMNs for people in a similar situation regarding friendships, you should check it out its lovely and friendly

Hi ladies, it's harder as you get older isn't it. I'm lucky as in I have friends who have been in my life a number of years.
Two of them are in touch with eachother too. The other two are not .
So I have different friends for different things.
I have recently found myself single (That's a whole other thread lol) and only one of my close friends is. The others are married with family commitments so it's hard catching up with them. Although we do try to make time for eachother monthly.
I've often thought about how you make new, true friends as you get older as your circle becomes much smaller doesn't it? It's all work and kids for so long but once they grow up and start doing their own thing what do you do then.
Perhaps someone should start up a meet new people group in Essex. Where abouts are you Essex ladies based?

I'm based in Basildon. It's lovely to hear I'm not the only one that feels like this x

Hi
I've experienced this. The friend wasn't possessive but still turned people against me, when I would bring issues up about her behaviour. I decided, true friends who really know me will stick up for me. And I've eventually ditched this lady and now I don't have to see anyone she has said things too because my dd takes herself. Having a dog helps me meet people could you get a dog they totally change your life!!

Hi Thinking, re having a dog, who looks after yours if you want to go on holiday? Do you leave it at home alone while you are at work, and is it OK? These things make me believe i cant have one

No friends either!! Past ones were bitching about whoever wasn't there so I knew what the topic was when I couldn't make it! Actually closed the blinds and hid one day when 1 came round I was so sick of it!! Moved away and didn't keep on touch. I have had a complex few years and has been too difficult to have any anyway, life is good but lonely despite a fab dh +dc . I have dogs and chatting to other owners is my only quick hello each day!! They either go into kennels or older dc have them when we holiday. We live North East near the beach!!

I have had to make new friends quite a few times in my life, due to emigration (4 times!)

The best way to meet new people is through shared interest. So get into stuff you like, it can be anything! I have made friends through sports mainly, if you like badminton or squash or tennis (random exaples, but I love racket sports!) You can join a club.

There are lots of gvt. Funded schemes to get women into sport (This Girl Can) and netball/cricket teams are popping up all over the country. I did a term of free cricket, and it was such a laugh, great bonding over tournament wins and losses)

So my advice is try a sport, with teens you can easily leave them.on their own for a bit

Hi usually we book a holiday, where we can take her with us.
So many people have dogs now, that there are plenty of pet friendly hotels and holiday cottages. Last year we went abroad and I got family to have her; but if you had a dog you could put her in kennels.
It was a shock at first getting into a routine with walking etc; but she has really changed my life, I wouldn't change a thing now .!

My dog has also been my lifeline. I can't imagine life without a dog, and we mainly holiday in the UK and just take him with us.

Another here with no friends, and what family I have left other than dh and sons, I am in very little or no contact with. Past friends took what they could and when there was nothing left to give, didnt want to know. I cant drive and have mobility issues so getting out and about to meet folks is nye on impossible for me so if anyone would like someone to chat to (I'm in the northwest uk) feel free to pm me.

I'm not far from you. I have a few friends but everyone's so busy that I often feel I haven't.

Feel free to pm me x

This was me a year ago. I felt so lonely and unhappy and reached a point of being so despairing about it that I was motivated to get out there.
I am very shy and a bit socially awkward at times but I made myself socialise more with school mums and then started going to Meetups. Meetup has really saved my sanity, I have met people through it and am starting to develop friendships. It obviously takes a little bit of tine to get to know new people so start NOW and think where you will be in a year. I was terribly isolated and really unhappy; I am now much more content and feel less needy by spreading my need for social contact a bit wider, which in turn helps me to come across as more balanced and calm and then it's easier to make friends because people aren't put off by my naked desperation .
I was so nervous before my first meetup but I'm so glad I made myself push through the fear as wonderful things were waiting on the other side.

Me too. I have just lost my Dad, no brothers and sisters and changed my job to one that is home based in order to support him. I am also very shy so the thought of going somewhere where I don’t know anyone fills me with dread.

I live alone, hundreds of miles away from where I grew up and have no bestie-type friends.

I meet people every day. I am friendly and polite, try not to make a nuisance of myself and try to help others when I can.

There are people I meet at work, in a choir once a week and at two classes at the local adult education centre who I'm friendly with.

I'm paying for company.....

It's so hard to meet new people. Most of the people I meet have lots of friends already aren't so interested 😂 ive looked at different apps but can't really see anything that is what I'm looking for 😣 I'm just looking for someone to chat too

I can't work out how to pm people?