I'm 50, he's 35.....

[pockledigg]

I ended a 20 year relationship a few months ago and have been lucky enough to start a new relationship. The age difference though.......I'm fine with it and he says it doesn't bother him, but I feel like when we're out holding hands or something folk look at us and think he's out with his dear old Mum. Thoughts please?

Sorry but Meh.

Friend my age (49) is married to a great guy with a bigger age gap than yours. It's only 15 years fgs. Yes it's unusual but if you start torturing yourself with what others think you will miss out on a lot.

Go for it. Honestly, life is to short to worry about how you are perceived. Also, would anyone bat an eye at the gender reversal? I'm a 35 Yr old woman, with a Dp of 46.

Unless you are a very old looking 50 and he is a very young looking 35, I doubt anyone even notices the age difference.

I doubt they are noticing that. I can't guess people's ages that well.

Also, it's not that rare and so what, happens often enough the other way around so if you want to go for it just go for it. Don't spoil it worrying what it looks like.

Who cares what people think. Lucky you to have found a new love. If the age difference bothered him he would not be with you. Grab life with both hands and enjoy.

Send him on a hard paper round and get yourself some good moisturiser

Sorted

anyfucker

Treat it as a fling. Nobody would bat an eyelid if he was 50 and you 35.

Go for it, and don’t worry about other people

Hmm I dunno I know people that are 35 and look really young then I know people who are 50 who look really old so I guess people could be looking but I agree no one would bat an eye lid if it was the other way round.

but I feel like when we're out holding hands or something folk look at us and think he's out with his dear old Mum

^I would start to get used to this because it won’t be the last time people do that

When l was 43, and l'd just got divorced, l started going out with a 21 year old. We were together for two and a half years, and he did my confidence no end of good after being in a bad marriage for years. lf you're happy together, and he treats you well, that's what matters. Nobody else's business.

Don't worry about what others think , if you have found a good man who you love ...enjoy it . There is 11 years between me & hubby and after 19 years together, it doesn't even cross our minds about the age gap ...im 50 he's 39 .

Do you look old enough to be his mum?

Being honest...if you look significantly older people will look, but
that's human nature.

Don't let strangers bother you?

If they do give the two of you a second glance, then unless they're actually pulling a disgusted face or making a disapproving remark, I really wouldn't assume they're noticing in a negative way.

When I meet a couple I wouldn't necessarily expect to be together, based on stereotypes about dating, then the tiny amount of thought I give it is just about how cool it is to be reminded of how different we all are. But if they were to spot me looking and considering the situation (which obviously I try not to do!), they probably wouldn't know that. Hence me trying not to do it!

Same goes for people who have unusual style, but it's less intrusive to come out with a compliment about that, so that they know what I'm thinking, than it is to do that about a couple. I'd never do the latter. So don't assume the worst, think about what you want, and if that's him, then enjoy the company of someone who likes you .

no big deal op

absolutely no big deal

at AF

I have friends, she was 41 and he was 29 when they had their first baby last year - totally loved-up

One rule of being happy what other people think about you or say about you is none of your business. If you lived your life doing what other people think you will be living their life.
It really doesn’t matter how you look go out there and have a fabulous time and grab that happiness. This guy is obviously into you so get over your insecurities and just be happy

I wouldn't care less what anyone thought of it.

And I know plenty of people at 50 who could be with 35 year olds without any comment (my sister is one of them)

My only concern is if you are looking for a long-term relationship because that might have problems. But if you are happy to be in the moment, stop worrying about anyone else.

I felt my ex younger partner tried to update my wardrobe and tried to dress me in things I was uncomfortable wearing. He had issues with my higher income. He felt I was too in control.

One of his parents caused an issue. Ultimately the relationship broke down but not due to the age difference.

Even so, I don't regret it.

Would depend for me- I don’t see it as an issue, unless there are things he wants in life, such as kids, which you wouldn’t be able to provide? If it’s juts fun- go for it. If you’re both looking seriously at it, then finances, kids/no kids, etc need to be thought about.

* I feel like when we're out holding hands or something folk look at us and think he's out with his dear old Mum.*
You could limit public shows of affection, no?

You could limit public shows of affection, no?

Why the hell should they?!

You’re 15 years older than him, not 25. I doubt you look like his mum.

I'm 41 and my partner will be 33 this year. I did worry about the age gap at the start, but only once have I noticed someone looking at us. Tbh though, that could have been cos I'm quite fat and he's quite slim

I wouldn't let it worry you, else it will eat away at you. Are you both happy? That's the important thing!