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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Signs you where falling out of love?

30 replies

Chamomiletea8 · 17/01/2018 19:56

List the signs and feelings you had please when you was falling out of love, even in the confused stages...

OP posts:
Chamomiletea8 · 17/01/2018 20:01

Also please state the differences between loving someone and being IN LOVE

OP posts:
peachgreen · 17/01/2018 20:02

As soon as I started having doubts.

Newerversion · 17/01/2018 20:28

When I dreaded going home if he was there.
When I found myself avoiding rooms he was in.

Graphista · 17/01/2018 20:38

Stopped feeling sexually attracted.
Panicky feeling when they came home.
Having to think hard of conversation starters - it wasn't easy to chat any more
Being irritated by the habits that didn't bother me so much before

m.youtube.com/watch?v=LJDPNF_RZ30

How he spoke, ate, walked, BREATHED drove me NUTS!

Chamomiletea8 · 17/01/2018 20:54

Oh god it isn't looking good for me. My insides are screaming at me, sending me a clear message but I can't make it out 😖. So confused.

OP posts:
clumsyduck · 17/01/2018 20:56

With me in the past it's normally been going off them sexually pretty much as soon as the "honeymoon period " is over . then I just know . Luckily with dp there is no sign of that . Phew !!

peachgreen · 17/01/2018 20:56

If it helps I wish I'd ended things as soon as I had doubts rather than struggling on for another 6 years. I've never had a single doubt with DH, despite facing some really tricky times together.

clumsyduck · 17/01/2018 20:56

Oh and yes agree pretty much everything they do would irritate the shit out of me . Even breathing

HarrietSchulenberg · 17/01/2018 21:33

When I realised I better relationships with my work colleagues than my ExH.

meowimacat · 17/01/2018 21:54

When I couldn't talk to him about anything, I had zero support and felt completely alone
When I was faking it in front of everyone to act like a happy family (for years)
When I'd go to sleep dreaming that I was single/with another guy/he had left me for someone
When I'd dread him coming home, or spending any time with him
When we literally spent zero time together, even though we could be in the same room we'd both be doing our own thing with zero communication

meowimacat · 17/01/2018 21:57

Oh and definitely the going off sex thing, and not being sexually attracted. That happened years before I actually ended things. Sometimes you just ignore everything even if it's screaming at you, but one day you will reach your limit.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 17/01/2018 22:13

*Not attracted to them
*Every thing they do annoys you
*Fantasise about them having an affair so they leave
*Avoiding spending anytime alone with them

DIngdongmerryilyonhigh · 17/01/2018 22:24

Stopped talking to each other about stuff that mattered whether it was things going on at work or hopes/dreams/plans for the future. I realised my future plans didn't really include him, I could see a future without him.

Stopped laughing together.

Stopped having nights out and eventually holidaying together.

Started preferring to go out with friends rather than him.

Preferred talking to friends and had more fun with them.

No longer valuing his opinion, or even asking it.

MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose · 17/01/2018 23:27

I remember very clearly a moment my now ex told me he had the next day off work and instead of being pleased I just thought 'oh shit now I have to spend it with you'

Mintychoc1 · 17/01/2018 23:34

In every relationship I've wanted to end, I've had a particular dream before my conscious brain knew I wanted to upend it. In the dream I'm about to marry someone I don't want to marry. In the dreams the someone is usually a specific ex from my teen years, no idea why. As soon as I have that dream I know it's time to move on!

Mintychoc1 · 17/01/2018 23:34

End not upend!

AlwaysPondering · 18/01/2018 00:01

Watching with interest. Feeling confused myself atm. I'm finding I'm really withdrawing myself from DP and I'm trying to snap out of it but I can't.

se7enthings · 18/01/2018 00:33

I couldn’t get aroused during sex
I was jealous of other people’s relationships
And I felt attracted emotionally to other people

Estellanpip · 18/01/2018 11:00

When you don't respect them anymore.
When you're embarrassed by them.
When their endearing quirks are no longer endearing but provoke disgust.

babayjane67 · 18/01/2018 11:19

Also watching this with interest.
Has anyone that's commented so far got kids&/ or debts to think about too that's making the decision even harder?

Tenshidarkangel · 18/01/2018 12:00

I completely disconnect:
I don't want to see them or spend time with them.
I don't need to hear from them/ it doesn't bother me if I don't hear from them for days.
When being around them/hearing from them makes me exhausted.

I just get to a place where I don't care anymore.

ravenmum · 18/01/2018 12:04

Don't like the way they smell any more.

Lookatmenow · 18/01/2018 12:05

been with him 13 yrs and got nothing one valentines day and thought, "God, what if he's done this cause he's going to propose later" - i shit myself as right there and then i knew i couldn't be with that man forever.

He didn't propose (just couldn't be arsed buying anything) and i ended it and moved out with DD 2 weeks later

AFistfulOfDolores · 18/01/2018 16:15

My insides are screaming at me, sending me a clear message but I can't make it out

If your insides are sending you a clear message, then they're sending you a clear message. Maybe it's just that you're not ready to receive it.

AFistfulOfDolores · 18/01/2018 16:22

My insides are screaming at me, sending me a clear message but I can't make it out

If your insides are sending you a clear message, then they're sending you a clear message. Maybe it's just that you're not ready to receive it.

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