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Original poster

A wasted life

32 replies

Fishinmusician · 17/01/2018 00:23

I am 60 years old. I have wasted my life...When I was young, I wanted to be in the entertainment industry, this was my first mistake. I am smart, I could have attended college and done anything like most people do but I did not. That was my second mistake. I married an adulterer and well, some of you know the pain of divorce. Mistake number three. I had a brutal open heart surgery 4 years ago, almost died, but made it through. A year later I got Endocarditis, a blood infection, almost died again. I will be going to have a second open heart surgery to repair the damage the blood infection did to my heart. I have no family, no wife, no children...what is the point anymore? Don't do what I have done. Make every heartbeat every day count! If you are angry, take that anger and do something good, help someone..you will find this works. If you are lonely FIND the RIGHT person. I have literally wasted my life...I bet God is super disappointed with me.

OP posts:
testpickles · 17/01/2018 00:35

How about enrolling on a course doing something you may have regretted not doing?Never too late Wink Go easy on yourself too,sounds like you've been through the mill a bit but you're still here and like I said..it's never too late,60 is young!Go grab life by the balls Smile

glsgow107 · 17/01/2018 00:36

I thought endocarditis was an infection of the heart, not blood?

testpickles · 17/01/2018 00:37

(Sorry,I missed the bit about you having to go for another op,hope all goes well for you,perhaps my suggestion isn't something you're able to do now but perhaps keep it in mind?)

Angelf1sh · 17/01/2018 04:04

I’d look into the open university if I were you. It’s never too late.

Plus, I don’t know if you ever made it in the entertainment industry but if you tried then you followed your dreams - that’s not wasting your life.

shittyshitybangbang · 17/01/2018 04:25

"It's never too late to be what you might have been".

hevonbu · 17/01/2018 04:59

You don't know what life has intended for you to achieve, maybe you're meant to do something important very late in life.

Anyway my dad took colleague courses he started at age 63, two years before retiring (he was on benefits for a disease). Apart from that he sounded like you at times, actually it was most of the time, at least before he took those classes.

hevonbu · 17/01/2018 05:00

^college courses
Argh, lesson learned: don't write at 5 a.m. in the morning while half asleep!

Leilaniiii · 17/01/2018 05:03

Hey, your life is not over! You’re only 60. You’ve got potentially 30+ years left in you yet. Imagine looking back in 10 years time... what would you have liked to have achieved in those 10 years?

Leilaniiii · 17/01/2018 05:04

... oh, and there is no such thing as God, so don’t worry about being judged by a higher power. The only person judging you is you.

Antiopa12 · 17/01/2018 05:23

Hope all goes well for the operation and that you make a good recovery
Why not join an amateur dramatics group to explore your talent, Also sign up for an extras agency, also our local theatre which has a very good reputation has a people's company which they train, you can do acting, stage management , lighting sound etc they take people if all ages
60 is not old you have a future

MistressDeeCee · 17/01/2018 05:25

OP you're too harsh on yourself. It's not over till it's over. You can still meet someone to love, expand your horizons. 60 nowadays isn't like being 60 years ago.

As a musician can you go into schools and/or community groups and lead workshops? Or do something else you've always fancied doing? Small steps?

I'm not trying to minimise your illness and struggles. You must be feeling rotten. But you're here..where there's life there's hope and opportunity and chance

Hope your op goes well

AstridWhite · 17/01/2018 05:29

Endocarditis is an infection of the endocardium, which is the inner lining of your heart chambers and heart valves. Endocarditis generally occurs when bacteria, fungi or other germs from another part of your body, such as your mouth, spread through your bloodstream and attach to damaged areas in your heart.

AstridWhite · 17/01/2018 05:29

sorry, that was to glsglow

anxiousnow · 17/01/2018 10:01

Fish hope the op goes well. It is never too late. A man I know always wanted yo be an actor. He has now started at age 72!!!! He has been in some famous films. My Uncle hid that he was gay and finally came out at 65. He is now in his 80's and having fun. Please take your own advice and use that anger to do something positive.

Deciduous · 17/01/2018 10:20

You are likely to live several decades more. Why not look into college after your operation?

PinkTiger · 17/01/2018 16:33

As posted above It's never too late to be what you might have been"

Here's some inspiration:

Art - Grandma Moses

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandma_Moses

Sport - Fauja Singh
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fauja_Singh

Writing

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Defoe

Ground breaking non-fiction book - Peter Roget of Roget's Thesaurus - started work on it after retirement when he was 69
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Mark_Roget

LadyB49 · 17/01/2018 16:46

You say you are alone, no wife and no family.
I am one of a group of 6 friends who met up through work and although we all moved on we stayed friends. That was 35 years ago when we were all married ladies. Through the years we all ended up single, two by divorce and 4 were widowed. Every one of us has a special other. it is not too late.
And a good friend...or a special friend .... may be just around the corner. We age from 60 to 74.

You don't have to go looking, just be friendly and pleasant. A chance meeting can become a friendship and develop from just a smile.

Thinkingofausername1 · 17/01/2018 16:58

Hi. I have had heart surgery. It didn't go as planned and set me back for a long time. I understand how on going illness can drag you down and you are not alone.!can you find some online support groups if you are on Facebook? I've joined a couple and have made some friends I sometimes message on there. You have been through what many people wouldn't be brave enough to do! Open heart surgery and surviving it is an achievement in my eyes.

SlingBackWellies · 17/01/2018 17:03

I do hope your operation goes well - when you've recovered why don't you think about volunteering? I am going to be a visitor to older people in hospital for Age UK. There's nothing like helping people for feeling good about yourself. Good luck.

Tstar27 · 17/01/2018 17:07

glsgow107 What an arse, someone spills out their heart and you can only focus on one thing. Callous

PeacefulBlessing · 17/01/2018 17:17

fishin you're only 60!!

One of my closest friends is 64 and he is by no means an old man! Another friend is 61 amd she is starting an exciting new venture as we speak.

Community music is a great idea. What's your instrument?

deadringer · 17/01/2018 20:14

My sister is 70 and long divorced and she has just met the man of her dreams. I hope the op goes well for you, in the meantime think about what you would like to do in life and go for it.

2rebecca · 17/01/2018 20:24

Lots of people struggle to find the right person, and for most of us there are many tight or almost right people (no-one is ever completely right, relationships are always a compromise).
We all waste our lives to an extent in that we just do stuff to fill in time until we die. Having kids can be fulfilling but also frustrating, sometimes your children die before you, kill themselves, get addictions or imprisoned.
I think we just have to enjoy life and try not to destroy the planet and make other people miserable too much, although both of these are inevitable to some degree.

RainyApril · 17/01/2018 20:26

Another one here who doesn't think 60 is old. I have many friends in their late 50s and 60s who live full lives and would be horrified to think that it was too late for them to do the things they've always wanted to do.

Just off the top of my head I know people who are internet dating, studying with the OU, trying new hobbies and ticking things off bucket lists.

You sound very down, and I don't want to trivialise your experience, but it really truly isn't too late to do any of the things you want to do. You could spend the next three decades feeling like this and your 90yo self will look back and wonder why you didn't shake things up when you were a 60yo spring chicken.

It's sad that you didn't spend the last thirty years doing things you love I guess, but it doesn't stop you starting now.

Fiere · 17/01/2018 20:33

My grandmother married twice before meeting the love of her life, when they were both well into their 70s - you can too!

Major health problems can be awful on your mental health, you should speak to your doctor about the depression/despondency that you're feeling.

There is no point in life, only the meaning we give it - make a list of everything you want to achieve this year and slowly tick them off your list. Do a course, take up a new hobby, visit a country you've never been to - there is SO MUCH to explore out there! Good luck!