Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Back with my ex but I regret it..

29 replies

helpme1011 · 16/01/2018 09:27

Feeling a bit down in the dumps. Me and my DP broke up in October when it came out that he had slept with someone in the beginning of our relationship. I was devastated and begged and pleaded for us to work on things. He said that he couldn't trust me because of the way that I found out (snooped on his phone)

We spoke on and off for the next couple of months which resulted in a mixture of emotions. Arguing, crying, sleeping with each other etc.

During Christmas he really made an effort with me and said that he wanted us to try again. I was so thrilled but things slowly ended up going back to old ways and he is now more interested in watching the football then spending time with me.

I know deep down that I will not have a happy relationship with him. He makes me feel like shit. We went to the cinema last night and the whole film he just went on and on about how sexy the actress was. (He regularly goes on about how gorgeous other women are etc)

Don't know why I wrote this. Perhaps for a hand hold and to be told to walk away and to be strong Sad

OP posts:
DreamGhost · 16/01/2018 09:30

So HE cheated on YOU, but YOU'RE the untrustworthy one?

You already know he won't make you happy and that's a really good start. You can walk away from this and it will be ok. Do you have any kids together?

hollowtree · 16/01/2018 09:30

He said that he couldn't trust me because of the way that I found out

Typical response from a cheat! How about you can't trust him after the way he cheated!!!

Run! Run for the hills OP! You are a million times better than this and deserve more than a footie watching, woman oggling arsehole who can't stay faithful.

hellsbellsmelons · 16/01/2018 09:32

He said that he couldn't trust me because of the way that I found out
WOW!!!!
So he cheats and HE doesn't trust YOU!
You know what you need to do.
You even say He makes me feel like shit
Why are you putting up with this?
Is it that you HAVE to have a man?
Please get out.
Be single. Get out there. Enjoy yourself. Have some fun.
Away from this!!!

AnyFucker · 16/01/2018 09:35

You said it yourself.

Walk away. Be strong. You will never be happy with him. Pick up your self respect, love. Only you can do this. Thete is somebody better for you out there but you won't find it while you still hope this loser will change his ways.

Notasperfectasallothermners · 16/01/2018 09:38

Invite your best mate over, ask her (or him) to write down a list of all your special qualities. Read and reread the list until you realise you deserve more than a twat who has no respect for you . There is still some decent men left op - every day you are with that nasty fucker is a day stopping you from finding one.

Original poster
helpme1011 · 16/01/2018 09:49

Thank you for the words ladies. I barely recognize myself. Before I met him if any guy showed me the smallest ounce of disrespect I would tell them to do one. With him I put up with his endless bullshit. Feel like just blocking his number and never speaking to him again but I know it will just end up with him outside my house trying to talk to me

OP posts:
ThisLittleKitty · 16/01/2018 09:53

Wow this is unbelievable. So he cheated on you are your the one begging him back. Ok then Confused

FizzyGreenWater · 16/01/2018 10:03

Well before you block his number text and tell him you're dumping him because he's boring and crap in bed, and ooooh he's a cheat too - forgot that one - so byeeeeeee.

AnyFucker · 16/01/2018 10:18

Well, if you don't just dump and block you run the (what sounds like a high) risk of him giving you the bullshit sweet talk again. And you falling for it.

Which hasn't worked out well for you, has it ?

Your call.

Original poster
helpme1011 · 16/01/2018 10:22

So shall I just message and say that I don't think this is going to work out and block his number or do I see him in person and tell him exactly how he has made me feel and how shit his behavior is?

OP posts:
paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 16/01/2018 10:24

You're right you will never be happy with him so there's only one choice, unless you're going to choose to be unhappy!

Walk away, think about yourself and be excited about a new beginning.

PsychoPumpkin · 16/01/2018 10:28

You’re worth so much more than this.
Not only did he cheat on you, but he made out that you were the one that couldn’t be trusted because you followed your gut and had a look at his phone. Just be glad you did, you know know what type of man he is.
He sounds like he wants to keep you down and ‘in your place’ by making you feel insecure (we all fancy certain celebs, it’s natural, but being respectful to your partner, you don’t openly drool over them).

Get rid and get back to that ‘takes no shit’ woman you still are inside.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 16/01/2018 10:30

Hi OP, yes, I would text him. Tell him it isn't working for you, and it's over. There's nothing left to talk about, why meet up, and leave,either feeling drained or manipulated.
Don't waste any more of your precious life with this loser. Listen up !

Original poster
helpme1011 · 16/01/2018 10:31

Really needed to hear all of this.

Thank you so much ladies.

Looking forward to becoming the strong woman I once was!

OP posts:
PsychoPumpkin · 16/01/2018 10:50

Best of luck! You can do it!!

Shoxfordian · 16/01/2018 11:14

Definitely text to break up then block him

You will be so much happier without him

ferando81 · 16/01/2018 11:30

Your partner is a genius .Tell him to get in touch with a publisher and write a book :
How to cheat and get away with it?
Chapter 1:Getting your partner to take the blame
Chapter2:Getting her to beg for forgiveness
Chapter3:Steps to turn a strong woman into a doormat
It would be a bestseller and make him millions
Except your going to ruin his final chapter with a twist in the plot by dumping his sorry arse

DPotter · 16/01/2018 11:37

I agree - dump him.
Don't tell him you think it's not working - that leaves a way in for him.

Original poster
helpme1011 · 16/01/2018 12:51

He just messaged me saying "are you angry with me?" He literally rushed off out the cinema last night as if he was late to something..

Ignore or is this where I say goodbye?

OP posts:
Queeniebed · 16/01/2018 12:56

It sounds as though he is taking you for granted. You got back together after he did the dirty on you and he no longer respects you. Walk away and don't have any regrets - remember this lesson if it ever happens again.

Up to you whether you text him back saying its over but I wouldn't get into a long conversation with him. Don't let him turn this around on you. Just leave him

Cliveybaby · 16/01/2018 12:57

IIf you feel you have stuff to say the maybe email him? Agree with not talking in person - he might talk you round again and you'll eb right back here in a month.

Wakeuptortoise · 16/01/2018 13:05

Sounds like he knows how to manipulate you. I would ditch by text or email. Or a letter if you feel really strongly.
I suspect he rushed off for a booty call after the cinema.

letsdolunch321 · 16/01/2018 13:11

Why see him in person - he will only humiliate you again.

Text him - I am ending our relationship as we are now back to square one. I do not want any point scoring conversations of who is to blame.

Finished ...... Done

Then block his number

Be kind to yourself . Good luck

MyBrilliantDisguise · 16/01/2018 13:14

Don't see him in person! Send a text saying it's not what you want, then block him.

CremeFresh · 16/01/2018 13:17

Just send him a text and block him, no more contact of any kind,you don't owe him anything more.

Swipe left for the next trending thread