Think my OH is going through my phone

[Lolly17]

There's no issue if he is, but I feel a bit upset he'd feel the need to?

I asked and he said "no why would I" but my phone keeps going missing and he miraculously finds it when I leave the room and tells me where it was... but it's never where I left it.

Am I going mad.....

Put a lock on it , you should anyway if you haven't in case it gets lost or stolen. Change the password if he knows it. If he doesn't go through it he'll never know you've done this. If he does he'll either have to admit it or keep quiet.
I'd hate it if someone went through my phone. Borrow it , that's fine but don't be nosey for no reason.

I’d put the finger print lock on if you have it.

Or you need to have a proper talk with him. If you put a lock on it now then he really will think you are hiding something and will be even more paranoid.

Put a lock on if you want. Not doing so is giving in to him. He's gas lighting you by the sounds of it. Don't put up with this crap.

Gaslighting her? How

I've placed something down, lost it. Could have sworn it was in place X and found it in place Y.

Not everything has to be worse case scenario and have a label put on it, this could simply be OP being forgetful of where she places things.

If this was the other way round and he put a pin on his phone after thinking something. (If that is the case) she would be told he is up to no good and hiding it from her. So why is she being advised to do that rather than having a conversation with him?

Because the OP seems sure she hadn't left her phone where he "found" it

years at the weekend I could have sworn I had put my purse on the bookcase in the living room. It wasn't there, a search began and my husband found it on the kitchen side. I never once thought too assume my husband had moved it Should I presume my husband put it there or there's a chance I didn't remember correctly where I put it.

Easily solved, you can get apps that take a photo every time the phone is unlocked I think.

Keeps going missing..

More than a one off

Anyway, the Op feels as she does. I hope it's nothing.

Keep your phone with you....

Or leave it somewhere where you remember. Make a mental note then catch him out. Do it several times.

If you feel like you’re going mad then put a lock on it. His reaction will say a lot.

I’d put a lock on for security regardless. However, I think that if you think he may be looking through your phone then trust yourself.

My wife always moves my things and has an uncanny ability to remember where she last saw things. I don't think that this is particularly suspicious.

I’d be wondering why he feels the need to look , that would make me sad too but I’d want to address it because he sounds sad and wanting answers too

I’d pop an app on that takes a pic when your phone is unlocked. I wouldn’t change the passcode. Take from there.

Strewth !How many women admit to going through their partners phone?Double standards or what.
He thinks your cheating .Reassure him .Passwording your phone will make him think you are hiding something.
If he doesn't accept your reassurance-then you have a problem

ferando how can she if he denies doing it?!

Ferando- women who say they go through their partner’s phone get don’t get cheered on generally on MN so no double standards there.

It’s not the OP’s fault if he is snooping or her responsibility to reassure him if he is being underhand. If he is deliberately hiding the phone to look at (repeatedly even though he isn’t finding anything incriminating) then that’s his issue and she has every right to put a security code on without worrying about his feelings!

Why do you think its ok for him to go through your phone? Its an invasion of privacy. Agree with others that you shld put a lock on it.

My sister's ex used to do this He asked how a friend of hers was getting over being unwell once. He clearly forgot he hadn't been told about her being unwell. She'd had a miscarriage, really bad endometriosis etc there were a few text convos about it all, her feelings, what happened after hospital visit today etc. & this fucker had read them all. I cannot stand over-nosey people. There's no excuse for it.

How is a purse anything like a phone Kungfu? People use their phones multiple times a day.

Lolita

It was an example from this weekend of me misplacing an object, which I do quite frequently. I have done it with my phone where I was convinced I had put it in place X only for it to be in place Y.

I wouldn't think too assume someone is going through my phone and has moved it. Surely if he didn't want OP to know he was going through it, he would return it back to where OP "thought" she had left it.

Kungfu Op said "keeps". That's different than your handbag being mislaid once. If your handbag, and only your handbag (so not your glasses, the TV remote etc) was repeatedly not where you thought you'd put it and then, repeatedly after you'd mentioned to someone that same person would always miraculously find it, after a while perhaps you'd start wondering what was going on too.

And what the OP's DH is doing by helpfully finding it, repeatedly, is typical of someone who knows where it is and doesn't want to say.

Smarter is the putting it back where he took if from, but he may also be doing that and she doesn't know. She only knows the occasions where it's not there.