Angry at life Boyf

[entryno2]

Help I don't know what to do...

Been with my boyf 3.5 yrs
Just moved in with his mum to save some money for a house
All is going well except he's very moody, grumpy at angry at life at the mo

He's down because he's been made redundant last year and has taken a job he hates until he finds a perm one
It's early starts and he doesn't get enough sleep

Tonight we've gone out
Our first weekend lay in together in weeks and it's ended in tears
all day he's been effing and jeffing calling things sluts and cunts ( we are cleaning out my flat so he's calling this to things in the flat )
We e gone out had a drink and in a nut shell he's just got bit silly
Was rude to the taxi driver, was being silly in the hotel lobby and when we got to the room he turned moody so pulled him up on it which ended in me leaving and driving home !

I'm sick of walking on egg shells because he's tired
He's not just tired he's rude

I've tried talking to him
We've even split over it but always back to square one

I love him but I'm sad and unhappy
All I want is to make it work

My mum says leave
But I feel so scared

So, does your Bf Mum know about his behaviour? Are you expecting to be in the same bedroom when he eventually returns, as you know he will later today.

Or will you move into your daughters bedroom until you can organize somewhere to move.
You say that your Bf's Mum is lovely and supportive, would she be ok with you still staying at hers, even if you have split from her son and are in your Dd room?
You know if you sleep in the same bed, this situation will go on and on!

@entryno2

'He's not even come back
He was annoyed that I drove back but I don't get why'

Because you were in control! You didn't put up with his bs! How very dare you! I sense the rose coloured glasses coming off OP. He won't like the new assertive you. You need to get ahead of him cause he will empty his pram of toys all over the floor now!

Yes I will ask him, he did say yes before but reluctantly
So that's sorted

I've been here so many times before so I know what to do. I just can't take him back this time. God there's people going through far more shit then him, told him that last night. We have (had) a future I love him and he can be the nicest person but when you are with someone that wants to take on the world it's really awful.

I've invested so much of my time
And energy - we've talked about marriage I would have done anything for this man....and he behaves like a pathetic immature idiot
He's 42! Yes he does have issues and has had a hard life I've always given him an allowance but I haven't had it easy either
His mum says he's tired and worried about his job
But I said I'm tired too! I work and I've been in jobs I hate in the past but you do that to provide and make it work
I've spent too long thinking I could make him see what I see when actually he should just see it for himself instead of me pointing it out for him

This has REALLY helped me so thank you to everyone on here
I feel so much better
I felt torn leaving that hotel last night
Like I didn't want to go but I had to...for my own sanity and happiness

Just had a thought - has your previous landlord found a new tenant yet - could you contact them and see if they would let the flat to you again? Might take away the need for a guarantor if they know you as a tenant already? Best of luck with everything.

That made me laugh, yes you are right though! Of course he doesn't like it.
I've just had enough
All this week he's barely spoken to me
I've taken a different approach and just let him get on with it
I've told myself I wouldn't accept his shitty behaviour again but I just thought he'd learnt from the last time

Well I'm sure she would be ok if I yell her I'm moving, can't see her having a problem with it. After all it's her sons fault, not like I've just decided I don't want to be with him.
We shall have to see on that

Yes daughter has bed that pulls out so I can go in with her no problem

He works early shift lorries so I can just tell her that's the reason why
Sometimes she comes in with me when he has early starts and he goes in her room so it won't feel off to her at all

42!! Omg I thought he was mid 20's because of his immature behaviour! 😳

...no offence meant to mid 20 peeps! Tbh I work with this age group and they are unbelievably mature so I stereotyped massively.

I know I thought I better clarify !
It does sound like an immature boy
That's why I guess he will never change

My landlord has found another tenant and doesn't have any others, but to be honest it was a top floor flat and now my daughter is older I'm in desperate need of a garden ! And my ex was there since the start and I got that flat when me and my little girls dad separated so I'm actually looking forward to a new place.

So good!! You can stay until you're sorted but in your Dd bedroom.
Set things in motion re: asking ex for guarantee and start looking for place.
Best of luck! And be brave! For your little girl and yourself.

We are supporting you here, all the way!

He is being nice to your dd is a manipulation. That is designed to make it harder for you to leave. Expect some comments pointing to this- the response is that you are not happy- he is not being nice to you.
His mum is lovely because you were going to take him off her hands.

Well done on resolving to leave for good! Zero tolerance is not unreasonable.

My mums well on my side and my one friend I have just confided in and told her a little bit more is also very supportive and with everyone on here, I have everything I need to leave

I'm so glad you're leaving him. Because in life there will ALWAYS be situations which are difficult. And if this is his way of dealing with difficult situations he will make things harder for you, ALL THE TIME. Instead of being your support, he will be the weight that drags you down.