My partner and kids keep arguing

[Essex123]

I have two girls aged 20 and 15 and have been with my new partner for 6 years. Over the years we have had issues as he can be quite a control freak and is quite paranoid often sparking arguments over nothing.
Myself and partner had a baby four months ago whom my girls adore.
Tonight as we ate dinner baby was screaming, and once my daughter finished her meal she asked my partner if he wanted her to take the baby so he could eat his dinner, with that he swore at us all and starting acting like we were suggesting he couldn't settle the baby and we all could, again totally paranoid. My daughter confronted him about being rude and he swore again at us saying f... us all. They want him to leave and I do feel we have run our course but although it is my flat he refuses to leave because of the baby, he states he's not leaving without his son!!!!. I am fed up of all of this but he seems to think he has a right to be here when he doesn't officially live here, just comes regularly since baby has been born.
He is a real mummy's boy who thinks he does no wrong, and always blames everything else for his behaviour, think this is why he is like he is, but I cannot continue with his childish ways making our home have a horrible atmosphere, he has a key to my house which he has refused to give back before, and he always tries to be nice when I ask for key back, anyone else been in similar situation?
Also he can row with me, but has no right to bring my kids into it and be nasty to them in their own home.

I don't blame them - I want to know how to stop it!

Volunteering for Women's Aid is a really good idea - I will contact them and see what I can do.

Did you get him to leave op?

I'd make sure your DD knows that she was in the right to offer to take the little one whilst he managed to get something to eat. That was a common courtesy.

He was out of order to swear at her and you. Do you think he doesn't feel confident with the little one?

@Merryoldgoat

I hear you.

I contacted women's aid to volunteer and they replied..saying no volunteer opportunities.

It's a sad state of affairs really. I often find that mothers of such abusers don't help either...siding with their sons ...instead of being supportive to the DIL. It's shocking.

After hanging around all day dragging it out and sobbing because I was making him leave his son he finally went, of course everything was my fault and all the nasty comments he said was his way of trying to hurt me by making him not see his baby everyday which he admitted too.
I found a great piece online today about emotionally and verbally aggressive people and it's him to a T. I know he wanted me to ask him to stay today, he kept saying how I would have no money, kept saying I had ripped his world apart. The article explained that often they are mummy's boys, their parents think they do no wrong which they believe, he talks to his parents with no respect and they let him get away with it hence why he thinks he can do this with me I guess.
I have realised that he is so childish and needs attention all the time, also I do write down everything so have a record to look back on which I can use as evidence if need be.
I really don't think he thought I would make him go and I'm sure my name is dirt with his parents but I don't give a shit, I work in mental health so have done my best to help him in past, but there is only so much you can do sometimes and believe me I am feeling good writing this in bed with him not here.
I truly believe that all the nasty comments to me is his insecurities about himself and him trying to be powerful.
Thanks for asking for update, early days yet but let's hope these nasty bullies eventually realise that it's all their own making.

I think he does feel that we are ganging up on him when all we are doing is offering support with the baby, he goes all paranoid.
As for his mum yes she makes every excuse that his actions are because of other reasons, it's never his fault.
At least I know after asking for her advice once how she feels about him, I will never go to her again, as totally as you say she is making him and all the situations so much worse, a mothers love can be so blind which is shocking to see but sadly it does go on.

Well done!

Well done, op. You've been very strong.

Thank you, take care xx

amazing news, you take care too, get the locks changed. Tell your family and/or friends. Gather your support and check out options for him seeing the baby with responsible adults present.

Please sort that lock out, OP, and lock from the inside till then.

Best of luck to you

Def get the locks changed as a matter of urgency.

Great news OP. It's a new beginning.

Good luck. Don’tet the rocky road sway you x

Congratulations, OP. Good ridance to bad rubbish.

And how come we have so many Daily Mail readers on this thread today? Those of us who have been in abusive relationships realise that it can happen to anyone.

Good news OP, love and strength 💐

All the best with your road ahead - and congratulations on three super kids.
Although it's an unfortunate situation, you have in fact done the best thing by your son. He wouldn't have any life if you hadn't had a relationship with his father. And unfortunately it's common that we only see the full degree of problems in a relationships during or after pregnancy a; suddenly we give less attention to the man-child, there is a little one he can't control who gets on his nerves, and other stresses. Well done on taking decisive action so soon after problems became apparent to you.

Such nice words thank you so much xx

Good for you! Well done for keeping strong 💪 x

Essex, you sound like a real strong woman. Well done x