I want to dtd more than him.... frustrated

[Doesntfitthemould]

Are there any other women out there who want to have more sex from their DH?
It’s driving me a little mad to be honest as all the time you hear about the men nagging the women and the women not wanting it, but what about when it’s the other way around?
We have been together a long time and have 2 dc , we are only in mid 30’s.
Once a week just seems enough for him, where as I am like a women possessed.

Once a month he is happy with. I'd be over the moon to get once a week. Like your DH he just isn't fussed. Doesn't watch porn, unless it's in the shower in pretty sure he doesn't wank. I know he isn't cheating, he just has a low sex drive. Mine is lower having had children but still higher than his. Very frustrating

Mine is exactly the same.
It is the old cliche though and does affect confidence.

I am in the same situation. It is awful isn’t it? Especially when you hear all these men who can’t leave their women alone. I keep thinking there is something wrong with me. I have discussed it with my husband time and time again but he just has a very low sex drive 😔

I was just reading some research (from the U.S) that showed 35% of wives had a higher sex drive than their husband. (Whole survey was regarding heterosexual marriage, so may not be applicable to all long term relationships?)
So you are certainly not unusual.

Me! My DP would be he is so knackered from his long distance driving job.

It is the old cliche though and does affect confidence.

Sorry, what's the old cliche?

I thought I was alone.
It’s awful. The feeling of rejection.
All the web you hear complaining that their DH badger and nag them..... I just want to scream!

That men are always gagging for it and can’t their girlfriend alone.

Can’t leave!

Testosterone levels and sperm counts are in decline.

I got my husband to go to the dr’s & have his testosterone checked. It is low but ok according to the nhs. He has low moods, which he says it the problem. Supposedly he still fancies me but I have tried everything to encourage more sex 😔

Lack of sex was one of the main reasons I left my ex P. Although looking back it's clear that he just wasn't that into me.

Yes. Me and it's killed my marriage. I should have known when I married him in February and he didn't deign to sleep with me until May, but I've put up with it for 15 years and no more. And I might add within that 15 years there was 8 years straight with absolutely no physical contact whatsoever.

I'm a lots of kisses and cuddles and every night at least once kinda girl and it's literally nearly driven me mad. All my friends that know wonder how the hell ive done it and looking back so do I 😳

Ask yourself if there's any hope of it getting better, without being led on and lied to like I was, and if not leave. I wish I had years ago.

Thesnootiest how on earth have you coped?
That must be incredibly lonely?

Doesn'tfit- it's been horrific but I only see that now. I just busied myself in being the perfect mother, worked far too hard and found love in cheese toasties and put 8 and a half stone on 🙄 6 and a half of which I lost in 7 months last year after I decided to get a grip. So now I'm 45, stretched marked to hell 😂 And hoping for a miracle!

I am in this situation.

I bitterly resent DH.

We have had his testosterone checked and it was low. He couldn't be bothered to keep up the treatment. The lack of sex is at the root of many of our arguments.

When you have exhausted all other avenues to get help, is it wrong to consider having a no strings affair?

That amazing snootiest, well done!
If you have the strength and mind power to do that you should be feeling on top of the world!
S chia- I haven’t yet broached the subject of drs with him, I simply know he won’t do it.
As for the affair, I did.
Scratched the itch a little but it wasn’t satisfying.

81 - I'm on the brink of an affair 😉 i think it will do me the world of good in the short term but I am bothered about how broken hearted I'll be when I can't spend every night with him like I want to. He's also married and I know, I know, but normally we are two of the most down to earth, decent people you'll ever meet. Just need something that our respective other halves don't give us and rather like each other. . .

And doesn'tfit, thank you but I just look at the loose skin and think that if my own husband doesn't want me no one else is going to give me a second look now. It just all feels so hopeless 😳

And I've just realised that those two messages completely contradict each other 😂 What I mean is no one would ever want me forever 😳

I understand it just makes you feel really bad about yourself it's totally changed the way I feel about myself and I now suffer from very low self esteem. Me and hubby have been together 12 years now....I really love and fancy him but the sex side is rubbish...when it happens it's great and we both say that we will make the effort to ensure we keep it up....then nothing....I always say test I fancy him etc etc but he has never ever commented on my body....good or bad....I thought he might be gay it was that bad but I just think we have mis matched sex drives so I bought myself a bullet vibrator and happy days. I love him to much to have an affair or leave.

I think a lot of the time the simple truth is they just don't fancy you anymore. Mine admitted that once we split. Said that once we had a child the desire on his side went. He didn't admit that until 10 years after we had a child! I was mentally tormented for that time. He said he was scared to leave as didn't want to not be with our child full time. In the last 5 years we had sex less than 5 times and always when drunk. Still hurts me 15 years later

I'm glad things work for you, user, but I've fallen completely out of love with the man that has zero respect for my needs. And I've tried the vibrator thing but I never get any privacy 😂😂😂

Trust me an affair isn’t the answer. I did and it just made me realise what I am missing - the sex was fantastic but the rest just made me feel worst about myself. Low self esteem is a big issue especially as we didn’t have sex for 6 years!!! I really don’t know how I coped all that time. Like you Fox I concentrated on being a perfect mother and went to the gym an awful lot to release some frustration. I don’t want to end my marriage just because of sex but not sure how much longer I can cope with the lack of desire on his part 😔

I'm with you there Rainbow, it's so sad and I feel so silly as I think I should be able to rise above it.

But it is so important to me. I just want to be held and wanted and desired. I'm like a teenager because I think about sex all the time - You know before it actually happens and you spend all your time wondering what it's like - and I really resent being made to feel like that now I'm a middle aged married woman, ffs!!