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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Handhold please, am leaving tomorrow

43 replies

MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose · 10/01/2018 19:44

In the morning I am leaving our house. I did have another thread in Aibu hang on I'll link to it

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3131856-Can-DP-not-be-arsed-or-am-I-a-grabby-cow?pg=9&order=

I'm just literally sick with fear and sadness this evening. I'm lying in bed trying not to throw up with anxiety. please knock some sense into me before I waver or start crying again.

OP posts:
BifsWif · 10/01/2018 20:04

Hand holding x

Does he know you’re leaving?

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 10/01/2018 20:05

Huge handhold from me

FluffyWhiteTowels · 10/01/2018 20:12

Handhold from me. Deep breaths

Original poster
MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose · 10/01/2018 20:55

He knows yes, he's very down too. I'm just second guessing myself at the moment because even though I've known for a while I should leave it's awfully big and scary.

OP posts:
BifsWif · 10/01/2018 21:03

Leaving is hard. Staying in an unhappy relationship is equally as hard.

If you know in your heart that your decision is the right one, then follow it through. You will be fine in time x

cornishmumtobe · 10/01/2018 21:11

Good luck OP! Thanks

AcrossthePond55 · 10/01/2018 21:22

I'm on your other thread.

You'll get through this. You know it's the right thing to do.

For tonight, just allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Then tomorrow when you get up give yourself a good mental shake and do what needs to be done.

You know deep down that you'll be so much happier when it's all over.

Ruddygreattiger2016 · 10/01/2018 21:22

Just read your other thread. Op, you are AMAZING. You got this, you will be fine. This guy is a complete piss-taking loser and doesn't deserve an ounce of your sympathy, he has knowingly treated you like shit. Screw him.

Ruddygreattiger2016 · 10/01/2018 21:27

Yeah, I bet he's feeling down, he has got no-one lined up yet to pay more than their fair share for rent and bills or do all the housework. My heart fucking bleeds, not. (Just the laundry comment alone would have warranted a kick in the nuts, prick).

BackInTheRoom · 10/01/2018 21:28

@MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose

Just read your posts on your previous thread. He realises and was fully aware of what he was/wasn't doing. I'm thinking his heart wasn't in it are you OP?

BifsWif · 10/01/2018 21:31

Leaving is hard. Staying in an unhappy relationship is equally as hard.

If you know in your heart that your decision is the right one, then follow it through. You will be fine in time x

Original poster
MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose · 10/01/2018 22:22

It is the right decision. Just deeply depressed and anxious tonight.

OP posts:
Goodasgoldilox · 10/01/2018 22:26

So sorry for your pain just now.

Hoping that this is a year of wonderful things for you OP. It is going to be better than the last.

AcrossthePond55 · 11/01/2018 00:38

Of course you are! But remember that what you are depressed and anxious about is NOT the loss of him, the man. You are depressed and anxious because of the loss of the dream. The dream of who you thought he was and what believed your life with him would be.

Grieve that loss. But remember that there are other (and better) dreams out there for you.

BackInTheRoom · 11/01/2018 19:52

@MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose

How did it go?

Schiaparelli81 · 11/01/2018 21:07

I read your other thread.

Thinking of you and proud of you! Stay strong.

constantchange · 11/01/2018 21:16

Just read a little of your other thread and this sounds like 100% the right decision for you.

He sounds lazy and not thoughtful.

If you feel like you want to leave then go with that feeling, always! It's not there for nothing.

I've ended two relationships so I know how hard it is. One of those was with a lovely guy who I was with for 2.5 years who would have done anything for me: he pulled his weight, he took me places, he supported me, but something was just missing for me - you can imagine how hard that was! Your guy just sounds like a general dud so don't feel too bad.

RandomMess · 11/01/2018 21:21

Your feelings are completely valid, if that means crying most of the night that is fine Thanks it's quite sudden so the fear/anxiety is understandable too.

Be kind to yourself!

Original poster
MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose · 12/01/2018 11:27

I'm out!

OP posts:
Original poster
MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose · 12/01/2018 11:28

Horrible couple of days just coexisting in the house together as he sulked downstairs. I have no idea where his head is at, I'm just glad to be gone

OP posts:
constantchange · 12/01/2018 11:39

Well done MyLovels. Are you going no contact for a while? The next few days will be the hardest but in a week or so I'm so sure you'll be feeling like a weight's off your shoulders.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 12/01/2018 12:07

Just read your other thread OP, well done for leaving, it's a tough decision to make (even when it's the right one) and scary. Where are you now? Are you OK? Flowers

AcrossthePond55 · 12/01/2018 12:10

I'm so glad ! Try to take it easy for the next few days. Give yourself a chance to 'regroup '.

hellsbellsmelons · 12/01/2018 12:17

Well you are glad to be gone and I'm sure you feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
Well done on following through.
So many wouldn't have done that.
Now enjoy some 'me' time and get out and about with friends.

Original poster
MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose · 12/01/2018 12:59

lol yes I can actually see my friends again!!

OP posts: