Handhold please, am leaving tomorrow

[MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose]

In the morning I am leaving our house. I did have another thread in Aibu hang on I'll link to it

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3131856-Can-DP-not-be-arsed-or-am-I-a-grabby-cow?pg=9&order=

I'm just literally sick with fear and sadness this evening. I'm lying in bed trying not to throw up with anxiety. please knock some sense into me before I waver or start crying again.

And remember in future that your friends are always there and men can come and go.
Never allow yourself to NOT see them again.
Always make time for friends.

Well done, OP, for seeing that man's true colours and getting out of there!

Yeah I wasn't 'allowed' to see much of them tbh. Had so much fun today and it's only a couple of days in!

Fantastic news TudorRose. You made a good decision and had the courage to go through with it.

So glad to see your update, I was wondering how things were.

Have a lovely weekend doing fun things!

Hand hold

That's another massive red flag right there then.
Be more mindful in future.
Never ever drop friends for a man.
NEVER!!!!!

100% agree with Hells. Never ever drop your friends for a man!

I'm planning to leave in the next week or two, I feel sick at the thought!!! It's defo the right decision but I feel so awful for the kids😞

Potatoes I feel the same about the kids but we owe to ourselves and the kids for them to be in a happy environment.

NK1 your so right but it's so hard, keep crying today. Xx

I need some courage to take this step. I don't think I have enough as I don't think it would be the right thing for the kids. I'm 100% certain they are unaware that there is anything wrong with dh and my relationship.

Potatoes I don't envy you. That will be me at some point. It really is awful

For those of you in the middle of this who are fearful or hesitant. Stop a moment and visualize your life without him in your home. Picture the peace. Picture the quiet. Picture yourself locking the door with him on the outside forever. Picture yourself on the sofa watching what you want, quietly reading a book, or just 'being' without that sick feeling of walking on eggshells or dreading the sound of that key in the lock. Picture your children eating peacefully at the dinner table, watching telly, doing homework or just sleeping without hearing raised voices, feeling that tension between the two of you (don't think the kids don't feel it, because they do), or being shouted at.

Now close your eyes and really feel it.

Now open your eyes, make that plan, and carry it out. Things won't be perfect, they never are. But they will be better than where you are now.

Across I really needed to read that, I can't carry on like this, it's making me ill. I don't want my wonderful boys to think that's how women are treated. Xxx❤️

Thank you Across

You're welcome. I've been there and done that. The relief was overwhelming once I was on my own. It's not all smooth sailing, divorce or separation rarely is. But I had my 'safe harbour' when things got rough. A place where he couldn't touch me and all I had to do was lock the door or put down the phone to shut him out.

Seek rl support. Try to find one person you trust and confide in them. Someone you trust to keep your confidence. It's not always easy to leave or get him out and it's good to have someone on your side, especially if 'Mr Wrong' is prone to head games or emotional blackmail.

Across that was a great post. I can also attest that although I'm now sofa surfing and have had to leave my job, I wake up in the morning and feel ok with life. Not happy yet but I know I will be. I have no home and I'm still happier than I was living with him.