Trying not to drip feed, so here goes.
My DH walked out on me mid December after a shitty shitty year. I've been off work with depression/anxiety since September and he finally decided that he didn't want to 'handle all this shit' anymore.
He came home a couple of days before Christmas, moving all his stuff back and we talked loads and decided that we would both give it 100% and try to save our marriage. First couple of days were great, but his heart wasn't in it and I knew it was a matter of time before he left again, despite what he was saying.
I honestly gave it my all, enthusiasm for us and the kids, running round like a blue arsed fly trying to make him and kids happy. Maybe I tried too hard?
He left me again earlier this week, this time for good and I'm heartbroken. I can't eat or sleep and feel like all my recovery from my black time is out of the window. I've hit rock bottom.
I've got no friends to talk to, don't want to tell my parents (can't handle their judgement, especially from my mother)
The bottom line is I don't know what to do, where to turn and he won't answer calls or messages except with a thumbs up or one word answer.
I know it's over for him, but I'm so lost.
I feel like he's made a fool out of me, did he just want company over the holiday?
I really need help to stay strong. I'm doing my best to keep a smile on my face for the kids, but I'm struggling.
Please, please any positive comments or words of wisdom will be gratefully received. Tell me how you coped if you went through anything similar. I really need help.
I know I put him through hell this last year, but I'm now on medication, going to a group and trying to help myself recover from all of this. I just feel deserted when I'm finally on the way back up to the old me.