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Original poster

Porn on DH phone

44 replies

ForeverHopeful21 · 06/01/2018 16:25

Last week I was scrolling through the photos on my husbands phone, (we have each others pass codes and he was aware that I was using it at the time by the way) and I was shocked to come across some naked photos of a leggy blonde. I asked him about it and he brushed it off saying that they were sent from 'one of the guys' as a joke on WhatsApp, and that photos automatically save to camera roll. I stated my disapproval and pointed out that he clearly didn't rush to delete them though.

Today I purposefully looked through his phone as I wanted to see who sent the images, only to find 20 or so extremely graphic porn videos on there now. Its true they were sent from one of his pals but it appears as though there have been countless images and videos sent to him over the past few months.

I may sound like a prude but I find it such a turn off. All the images and videos are of tiny models with their perfect pert bodies. I'm currently pregnant so not exactly feeling good about my body. I can't help but feel really disappointed. Am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
Hippydippydoo · 06/01/2018 16:31

Personally, I don't see it as a major issue. I think men and women are wired completely differently and this is just a man being a man. There is no emotion attached to it from his end.

I think the healthy thing to do is to have a conversation with him about it, but without shaming him. If you both feel open to talk about how you view these things, you may understand each other better as a result.

That's just my opinion.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 06/01/2018 16:37

I'm not sure how I feel about porn...

...but he shares / exchanges porn with his friends? That is something I don't think I could get my head round. The mind set to do that is far too alien for me!

Then again, maybe I too am too much of a prude for the 21st century!

Timefortea99 · 06/01/2018 16:37

Sharing porn images with their mates shows how childish men are. Like a dirty version of football cards. This is not a comment on porn itself, it is just the immature nature of sharing images.

offside · 06/01/2018 16:41

This happens in my DHs friendship group on WhatsApp and he knows my feelings about it - most are married/in LTR and have children.

My DH has now set the settings on his WhatsApp so pictures and videos from the group don’t download automatically as some of the things that get sent through are grotesque - he did this of his own accord - however, there are a few that he has downloaded but these are more tasteful ones and wouldn’t be obviously naked women or the such like when blurred out before being downloaded and are of a similar nature to the baked buff guy pictures that get sent via the girls whatsapp group (I delete immediately as I don’t find anything about it appealing and usually say so). He also deletes the pics as soon as he realises what they are.

Unfortunately I do think it’s just what happens and maybe if you tell your DH how you feel about it, especially now while your pregnant, he may also switch the setting so on the group so the pics/videos don’t download automatically.

offside · 06/01/2018 16:44

I’ve never known porn videos to be sent round though, it’s images of posed women akin to Zoo and Nuts and the like. I think sharing pornographic videos is a bit weird.

offside · 06/01/2018 16:45

And obviously I meant naked buff guys not baked Hmm

Annabelle4 · 06/01/2018 16:45

What age is his friend, 17? Hmm

Fairenuff · 06/01/2018 16:50

Is he saying a male friend is sending him videos? Odd.

You don't have to have porn in your life if you don't want to OP. I'm sure if your dh had to chose between his family and some naked stranger, he'd ditch the porn.

But it's up to you.

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 06/01/2018 16:51

Asap screen shot a buff dude as your wallpaper. And leave your phone around.. And if you see his mate suggest he grows up - and your dh.

AnyFucker · 06/01/2018 16:55

I consider intimate sharing of wank material to be an indicator of latent homosexuality

Ask your H if he thinks of his friends erect cocks while he strokes one off. The response could be interesting.

fantasmasgoria1 · 06/01/2018 16:56

Deal breaker for me! I have reasons why I am extremely against it and my fiancé understands this. He does not look at it but to be honest he rarely looked at it when single but he did say if it’s a choice between partner or porn it’s a no brainier!

Northernparent68 · 06/01/2018 18:59

Any fucker, do you have any evidence to support that theory ? I think you’re gay shaming. If you do n’t like porn construct an argument against it rather than tell a women her husband is gay.

Greensleeves · 06/01/2018 19:05

I would find it grubby and sordid. So would dh. And no, I'm not "kidding myself", and all men do not enjoy porn. At all.

AnyFucker · 06/01/2018 19:11

None at all, NP

It is my opinion, as indicated by my use of "I consider"

I find it makes these men very, very angry if you suggest it though. Which doesn't make me "gay shaming" but certainly makes them scramble even further to prove how sordidly red blooded they are Smile

Although I do consider (see what I did there) that sharing of sexually explicit material tends to have a sexual motive. Don't you ?

AnyFucker · 06/01/2018 19:16

I might add that this viewpoint has got me into trouble on t'internet before now

Which bothers me not one iota Wink

Northernparent68 · 06/01/2018 19:58

No I do n’t, are the groups and of women who went to watch 50 shades, or male strippers lesbians.

Fairenuff · 06/01/2018 20:06

Do women send porn to each other though? As in, whoar look at these dicks/fannies, whatever?

I consider that it's odd that men want to do this with each other if they have no sexual interest in each other.

AnyFucker · 06/01/2018 20:09

I don't consider those scenarios to be equivalent

Some people might. There's a whole argument to be had there. But that would be a derailment.

AnyFucker · 06/01/2018 20:10

Last msg to NP. I agree with you, Fairy. It is unusual for women to send explicit sex acts to each other.

spiritofadventure · 06/01/2018 21:09

I think you're overreacting OP.

I couldn't get worked up over pictures of glamour models/porn stars.

GertieMotherwell · 06/01/2018 21:10

My DH got rid of whatsapp on his phone for this very reason

RebeccaBunch · 06/01/2018 21:17

How lovely your H has so many men friends so keen to turn him on Confused

RebeccaBunch · 06/01/2018 21:18

Oh I see AF has similar views. Totally agree AF.

AnyFucker · 06/01/2018 22:23

👍

Original poster
ForeverHopeful21 · 07/01/2018 10:01

Thanks for the replies.

The guy in question who sent them is similar age - 30s. Do I think its weird that a man sends this to another man, not really ....he's had this happen with other distasteful (but not as offending - in my opinion) sexual images from his pals - especially the larger WhatsApp groups. They all seem to find it funny? I do notice that my DH never sends anything like that to the groups but its still upsetting me none the less.

All the images and videos are of women only. No men involved so my worry isn't regarding sexual orientation here. My DH is very much straight.

OP posts: