Porn on DH phone

[ForeverHopeful21]

Last week I was scrolling through the photos on my husbands phone, (we have each others pass codes and he was aware that I was using it at the time by the way) and I was shocked to come across some naked photos of a leggy blonde. I asked him about it and he brushed it off saying that they were sent from 'one of the guys' as a joke on WhatsApp, and that photos automatically save to camera roll. I stated my disapproval and pointed out that he clearly didn't rush to delete them though.

Today I purposefully looked through his phone as I wanted to see who sent the images, only to find 20 or so extremely graphic porn videos on there now. Its true they were sent from one of his pals but it appears as though there have been countless images and videos sent to him over the past few months.

I may sound like a prude but I find it such a turn off. All the images and videos are of tiny models with their perfect pert bodies. I'm currently pregnant so not exactly feeling good about my body. I can't help but feel really disappointed. Am I over-reacting?

I had to stop my lads at work doing this on the work WhatsApp chat. I think it's quite common amongst blokes though.

In their 30s? Blimey. How depressing.

I may sound like a prude but I find it such a turn off. All the images and videos are of tiny models with their perfect pert bodies. I'm currently pregnant so not exactly feeling good about my body. I can't help but feel really disappointed. Am I over-reacting?

In answer to your question, I don't think you're a prude or wrong to feel disappointed. This behaviour is becoming quite common. My ex and his group of friends, all aged 50+ were doing the same nonsense.

I haven't got any answers I'm afraid - but please please try not to let this affect your self esteem.

I think it's really misogynistic behaviour. Childish and weird. Imagine being in a relationship which the kind of guy that sends that shit.

They all seem to find it funny?

What are these naked women doing that is so funny? Does your dh lol at them or wank at them

Thank you @NurseButtercup I'm feeling very self conscious at the moment which I think is why I feel so upset about it.

When I mentioned them he said he hadn't watched them and that he'd delete them straight away as they automatically save to his phone. I asked him why they send such clips and images to each other and he said that loads of his friends / groups of friends do it. He didn't seem to think that it was a big deal as it happens so often apparently!

I asked him how he'd feel if he found videos on my phone of hunky, ripped men with huge muscles and he agreed he wouldn't like it.

I have come to the conclusion that large chunks of the population are line sheep. I would actually admire in one of these groups for someone to say please take me off this list, I like to choose my own wank material thanks!!

Male perspective...

They are almost certainly not sharing it as "wank material" or for reasons of repressed homosexuality

I sometimes get added to a large group on WhatsApp or sent an unsolicited FB message containing something pornographic.

The reasons are always entirely juvenile and intended to either get a laugh, gross you out, or land you in an embarrassing situation when you inadvertently open it at an inappropriate time.

Nobody can control what they are sent, there is no point getting a complex about it. Everybody is entitled to some privacy / personal space too - if this thread was about a DH finding a few naked man pictures from a girly WhatsApp group on one of your phones and hitting the roof, I am sure he would be roundly (and quite rightly) condemned as an asshat.

If a woman decided to take issue with their DH over this kind of content, it is likely that a couple of 'the lads' will find this utterly hysterical, wait until they know he's with her, and bombard him with transsexual midget BDSM porn. This is just how men are.

You don't have to think we are mature or funny -we aren't- but it is probably important to understand how men are, rather than how you would prefer us to be. Male humour often finds the gutter very quickly in an all male environment.

I personally don't do the sending or find it very funny / entertaining when other guys send me this stuff, but I also don't really care or take offense, it's a little tedious if anything. However, I do religiously delete all such content - there is always a risk of inadvertently posting it somewhere else when trying to post a normal picture!?!

My dh gets sent them too and one of my children managed to see one. It's immature, sexist and disturbing that a 50 year old man is in groups with idiots sending each other this. It shows his character and it's a shame I didn't realise it years ago when he thought that lapdancing clubs etc were just a bit of fun.

some women dont mind it and some do - if you dont like it OP then tell him, if it makes you uncomfortable, then tell him. I dont personally care - but thats me. This is about you and how you feel. I know women who do this in chat groups - its not as rampant as men, but there are women who do it, and its usually for the same reason men do it too.

AnotherRandom You left out some important words in part of your posting. Allow me to correct you. I've added the important missing words in bold type.

"If a woman decided to take issue with their DH over this kind of content, it is likely that a couple of 'the lads' will find this utterly hysterical, wait until they know he's with her, and bombard him with transsexual midget BDSM porn. This is just how some men are."

"You don't have to think those men who indulge in this are mature or funny - they aren't - but it is probably important to understand how these but not all men are."

I also think the use of the words "probably important" aren't really warranted either. Useful might just about be acceptable.

That's from MY male perspective. Because none of my male friends have ever sent me porn to my WhatsApp or by email or any other method.

Why do you believe that the post requires editing to qualify that my comments only apply to some men, when the end of my post makes it quite clear that I neither enjoy receiving or indulge in sending such materials myself, and the start of the post qualified that I am male?

You either suck at reading comprehension or take great pleasure in pointless pedantry.

No, I agree with Shatner. Although you took yourself out of the equation, your post still reads as if all other men behave like that.

For example, you write 'This is just how men are' when 'This is just how some men are in some circumstances' would be more accurate.

Also regarding this 'if this thread was about a DH finding a few naked man pictures from a girly WhatsApp group on one of your phones and hitting the roof, I am sure he would be roundly (and quite rightly) condemned as an asshat' - that would not be the case for many.

Lots of women can understand that her partner might not like her looking at porn. It goes both ways and is down to the individual.

That's why no-one can tell anyone else that they have to put up with it in their relationship if they don't want to. It's an individual choice.

As a professional writer, I do not suck at comprehension and by nature it requires me to be pedantic. But Fairy has explained it excellently, so I don't need to.

Oh OP, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I felt exactly the same way when I found my husband's phone full of it from a group on WhatsApp. The local dads group, ironically, what a bunch of children

It's distasteful IMO, especially the fact he's sharing it around with his friends but at the end of the day, what can you do?

It's his phone and his sexual interests.

You don't know that he just couldn't be bothered deleting them, talk to him about it and see what he says.

To be honest, the idea of men sending pornographic images of women to laugh at revolts me more than them sending them to get off on.

It’s bloody sad behaviour, !!